Believe Again
by flashpenguin
Summary: When JJ is attacked, the team must help her and themselves deal with the aftermath of guilt and survival. As JJ learns to live and love again, she finds that her second chance might be with the last person she ever imagined. **OFFICIALLY ABANDONED**
1. Chapter 1

_**Every author should branch out to unchartered areas- even if it means pushing boundaries and limits. And at the same time, an author should never be afraid to take a risk…even if it means writing about a subject that most people wouldn't go near. This is one of those times I've decided to take that risk. A close and dear friend of mine laid the challenge to write a crime fic and the aftermath of guilt, survival, friendship, and love. As horrific as the crime may be, the underlying message of love and strength is one I hope people get from my story.**_

_**I don't own Criminal Minds. **_

_**Song prompt: "Believe Again" by Delta Goodrem**_

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**Believe Again**

JJ looked at her watch and sighed. It was a little past five and she was tired. It had been a long day. With the internal audit in full force, her mornings had been early and the nights long. But today she had hope on getting home a little early. She needed to hold that sweet little boy of hers. She needed to breathe in his sweet baby scent.

Standing up, she stretched. The filing was complete, and the reports were signed, and now it was time to leave. As she reached for her purse, there was a knock on the door.

"Come in."

Slowly the door opened and Aaron Hotchner stepped in. "Hi JJ."

"What can I do for you Hotch?" JJ asked as she slid the purse strap on her shoulder and began stuffing her cell phone and blackberry inside.

"I need these last two reports done before you leave."

JJ sighed and dropped her shoulders. "Hotch…I just completed the audit report for July and I was getting ready to go home. Can't these wait?"

"I'm sorry about that," Hotch apologized sincerely. "I just got them myself. Strauss needs them first thing in the morning for the inspectors."

"Hotch…"

"Jayje, I promise the next ones I'll do."

Setting her purse down, JJ reached over and plucked the folders from his hands. "Just these two?"

"Yes."

"I'll have them to you as quickly as possible."

Hotch gave her a small smile. "Thanks Jayje. I owe you one."

"Yes you do."

"I'll walk you to your car when you get ready to leave."

"Sure." Sitting down, JJ glanced over the folders and started sifting thru the contents. Quickly she hit two keys on the computer and restarted the hard drive. "You'll be in your office?"

"Yes," Hotch answered as he watched the quick, efficient way JJ got back into liaison mode. Realizing she was already immersed in the paperwork, he turned around and left her alone.

Waiting for the computer to reboot, JJ picked up the receiver on her desk and dialed. One ring. Two rings. Three rings… _Where were they?_

"Will La Montange," the voice greeted on the other end as the phone was answered abruptly.

"Hi Will; it's Jen."

"Hello Jen. We were just getting ready to leave and meet you at the restaurant."

JJ bit her lip. "About that…I have to finish up a couple of reports that just came across my desk as the last moment."

"You're kidding me? We have a reservation at six."

"I know Will. But I have to get these reports completed before I leave."

"Just leave them."

"I can't do that; we're in the middle of an annual audit." JJ began entering information into the computer.

"Do you want me to cancel?"

"No, go. I'll meet you there."

"No you won't."

"Will, that isn't fair."

"No Jen," Will drawled sarcastically, "what isn't fair is that you care more about those people at the FBI than you do for your own family."

JJ sat up straight. "That's unfair! This is my job! How dare you say that I put this over my baby!"

"You do. I think you would lay your life down for Aaron Hotchner fast than you would for me."

JJ took a deep breath. She knew where Will was going. It was the same fight they had been having for three months: her FBI responsibilities or her home responsibilities. She wanted to know why she couldn't have both.

"Will…I don't want to get into this right now. I just have to finish up these reports and I'll be on my way. I promise."

"Like last night? Henry was in bed fast asleep by the time you walked thru the door."

"I really don't want to hash this out here. Let me get off the phone and finish these up and I'll be home in an hour. I promise."

The line got quiet for a long moment. "One of these days you're going to look around and I'm going to be gone."

JJ rubbed her temple. Another threat. This made how many so far? Six? "You don't mean that. We'll talk about it when I get home."

"Whatever you say Jen." Will slammed the phone down in JJ's ear.

Closing her eyes to ward off the sudden onslaught of a tension headache, JJ blindly replaced the receiver and took a deep relaxing breath. She was going to have to talk with Will…eventually. Somehow they were going to have to work around this bump in the road they had hit.

But not right now. The reports needed to be completed. Typing quickly, she began the input of information.  
***

Knocking on the door of Hotch's office, JJ waited a moment before entering. Walking over to his desk, she extended the folders toward the back of the chair.

"Hotch?"

Spinning around, Hotch looked at her and raised a finger. "No. That isn't what happened. I don't care what he said happened after the arrest. I was there and police brutality did not occur…."

JJ waited for him to finish. Looking at her watch, she counted the seconds. She really needed to get home.

"Hotch," she repeated.

Placing his hand over the receiver, Hotch paused. "I'm sorry JJ. Can I help you?"

"The reports," she whispered.

"Thanks. Give me a minute."

JJ shook her head. "I really have to go. I'll see you in the morning." Giving her boss a small wave, she exited the office. She was going home to see her baby.

Hurrying down the steps, JJ made her way to the elevator. Pressing the button, she waited. She pressed it again.

"Screw it," she muttered and headed toward the stairs. It was going to be a little out of her way, but she needed the exercise. And she needed to clear her head before confronting Will.

Five minutes and seven flights of stairs later, JJ opened the door to the parking garage. Digging out her keys, she heard the faint sound of her blackberry.

"Dammit Will," she muttered as she picked up the pace. "I'm hurrying as fast as I can. Can't you give me a break?"

The blackberry rang again. Unlocking the car door, she got inside and buckled her belt. Inserting the key, she started the engine and reached for her blackberry.

"Jennifer Jareau."

"I should have known you would let me down…again."

"Will?"

"Were you expecting someone else?"

"No. I'm on my way to the restaurant."

"Don't worry about coming; we're done."

JJ searched for a response. "Then I'll meet you at home."

"See Jen…I'm not going home…at least to _our_ home. I'm tired of being at your beck and call. I've found me a sweet young thing to get me thru the night. Because, if you've forgotten, I have my needs too," Will spat and disconnected.

Stunned, JJ turned off the blackberry and continued her drive home in silence. Deep down inside that feeling of something was about to go wrong began to gnaw at her gut.

"Go wrong?" she muttered, as she pulled her car alongside the curb near her apartment. "How can it possibly get worse than it already is?"

Turning off the engine, she grabbed her purse, got out of the car, set the alarm and walked to the front door.

"Darkness before the dawn, my ass." Turning the key, she let herself inside.


	2. Chapter 2

_**This second chapter is building up to the crime. I have tried to tone down the actual crime because I believe that the less something is mentioned, the better the imagination is at envisioning- which makes for a more powerful story. Please feel free to leave a review or PM. Thank you.**_

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**Believe Again**

Inserting her key into the lock, JJ opened the door and stepped inside her apartment. Looking around, she called out, "Rebecca? Are you here?"

An auburn haired teen ducked her head around the corner. "Ms. Jareau, you're home early."

Setting her purse and coat on the table, JJ kicked off her shoes. Taking off her service weapon, she placed it in the drawer of the desk against the far wall. "Is Henry still awake?"

"No. I just put him down about twenty minutes ago." Coming out into the main room, Rebecca was drying her hands on a paper towel. "I thought you were going out tonight."

"I was, but I had to work late."

"Oh." Throwing the paper into the trash can, Rebecca looked at JJ. "I fed Henry a light supper, then I gave him a bath. I hope you don't mind. He was tired, so I just let him fall asleep."

Reaching into her purse, JJ extracted her wallet. Pulling out a few dollars, she handed them over. "Thank you so much. I hope this covers everything."

Looking at the bills in her hand, Rebecca blushed. "Oh, this is too much. I only got here two hours ago." She tried to hand the money back.

JJ shook her head. "No. Keep it."

"Are you sure?" The young lady looked doubtful.

"Yes. You went thru the trouble of taking care of Henry; it's the least I can do."

"Okay. Well, thanks." Slipping her coat on, Rebecca grabbed her back pack. "If you need me again, let me know. I'll be studying for finals, so I will have my weekends free."

"Thank you Rebecca."

"Bye Ms. Jareau."

"Bye." JJ listened for the door to close. Sitting down on the chair, she buried her face in her hands and sighed. Her day had been long…longer than she had anticipated. The dinner she hope to get was gone. And Will was going to bed someone to spite her. How in the world had her life spun so far out of control?

"Maybe I should have stayed at work and finished those reports for Strauss. At least she would have appreciated my hard work," JJ muttered to the empty room. Thank God it was Friday and she could sleep in tomorrow. She needed a drink.

Sighing, she stood up and walked to the kitchen. Opening the fridge, she took out a soda, popped the top, and took a long sip. She needed a bath. She needed to relax. She needed to get rid of all the stress of a long week and crappy evening. A long hot, bubble bath should do the trick.

Heading out of the room, she stopped. _The reports!_ Damn it! Grabbing her purse, she extracted her phone and dialed. In her hurry to leave work and meet with Will, she had forgotten to get the confirmation numbers on the filed reports. Hopefully Garcia would still be in her lair and send that information to her phone.

"You have reached the queen of all knowledge good and bad," greeted Penelope Garcia. "State your business."

"Hi PG."

"Oh my lovely little blonde buttercup! To what do I owe the honour of this late night phone call?"

"Are you still at work?"

"No where else on earth I would rather be."

"Unless Morgan was free," JJ teased.

Garcia smiled and twirled her pen. "Oh, my delightful Dove chocolate bar had a hot date tonight with some floozy who will probably break his heart by morning."

"And you'll be there to pick up the pieces?"

"Of course….after I wipe her blackberry and cell phone clean."

"Ah." JJ nodded. Garcia was the one person no one with even a universal remote in their possession wanted to mess with. Thank God she had made the computer tech Henry's godmother.

"I need you to do me a favour."

"Name it and it shall be yours."

"I finished those reports for Strauss tonight and filed them, but I didn't stick around for the confirmation numbers. Could you send those to my blackberry so I can have them by tomorrow morning?"

"Oh my fair beauty, you can have anything you want…especially if you agree to let me baby-sit that wonderful godson of mine."

JJ laughed. "You may have him. I plan on spending the whole weekend in the tub soaking myself into peaceful oblivion."

"Oh!" Garcia squealed in delight. "Give me just a minute to transfer that number to you. Honey, what's wrong?"

"What do you mean?" JJ sipped her soda.

"I think I know you better than anyone and I don't like that tone in your voice." Garcia's fingers flew over her keyboard while she listened to her best friend's problems. "Are you out with Will tonight?"

JJ looked down on the dining room table and saw something green peeking at her from under some papers. Pulling it out, she realized it was Rebecca's cell phone.

"Hey, PG, can I call you back? I have to…" A knock on the door interrupted her. "Hold on. I think that's the sitter."

"Cheating on me already?" Garcia teased.

"Oh no, Henry is still all yours this weekend." Walking to the door, JJ flung it open. "Rebecca, you forgot your cell…" JJ stopped in mid-sentence as she realized that it wasn't Rebecca on the other side. "I'm sorry; I think you have the wrong house."

"_JJ?" Garcia called out. "Are you okay? What's going on?"_

"Don't make a sound and no one will get hurt," the stranger demanded darkly and entered the room. Closing the door behind him, he threw the deadbolt. "Are you alone?"

"Who are you? What do you want?" JJ asked, as she set her phone on the table. She needed to get to her service weapon. Glancing out of the corner of her eye, she tried to estimate the distance from where she was to her purse.

"I want your money and your credit cards and I won't hurt you."

"I'll give it to you, just put the knife away." Stalling for time, JJ handed over her wallet. "That's all I have; you can go now." All of her FBI training came back as she tried to remain calm and reason with the burglar. _Memorize his features,_ JJ ordered herself. _His eyes, his voice…okay think. What would Rossi do to talk himself out of this? How would he negotiate his way out of a possible volatile situation with a baby in the next room? Think JJ! Think like Rossi would!_

Rifling thru the wallet, the UNSUB took out the money and credit cards. Shoving it in his pockets, he threw the wallet at JJ.

Before JJ could think, he slapped her hard across the face knocking her to the ground. Hitting the hard wood floor, she felt the air expel from her lungs. Winded and stunned, she tried to get her senses back when she felt the intruder land on top of her.

Frantically, JJ tried to fight back. _This isn't happening. Fight him JJ! Fight him! Oh God! Pen is on the phone. Call for help Pen! Oh God! JJ do something! Don't let him win! Think of Henry! Think of Henry!_

Garcia stared at the computer screen and considered interrupting JJ when she heard the encounter then the frantic struggle on the other end of the line. "JJ? Are you okay?" She asked hesitantly. Listening carefully, she tried to make out something to help her determine what was happening.

"JJ, are you there? Talk to me! JJ, answer me!" Garcia felt her hysteria begin to bubble. _Keep it together Penelope! Keep it together! Keep JJ on the line. Call Hotch!_ Her thoughts racing, her hands trembling, she tried to focus on the moment and not what was happening on the other end of the line.

With one ear tuned into the situation with JJ, Garcia quickly dragged her mouse to the cell numbers of her team. If anyone knew what to do, it would be the BAU chief.

Waiting for the call to Hotch to connect, Garcia tried to keep from becoming hysterical as the frenetic sound of fighting came over the line. Then she heard the scream.


	3. Chapter 3

_**This is probably the hardest story I've ever written. Not so much for the subject matter but for the first time I have had to try and incorporate nine characters into one scene and try to keep the time line intact while making the conversation believable. That being said, to the reader: yes, I know that the time may be off, but since I don't know the exact location of the characters residences, I can only guess the distance between points A & B. Please forgive me. **_

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**Believe Again**

Walking out of his office, Dave Rossi went over Hotch's off and knocked lightly. Hearing the invitation, he turned the knob and stepped inside.

"Hi Dave," Hotch greeted without lifting his head. His concentration was on finishing up the folder in front of him.

"You're still here?" Rossi asked. "It's Friday night; I thought you were going home early." Sitting down, he glanced around the room, his eyes settling on the stack of folders on Hotch's desk.

"Strauss needed these completed before close of business. It seems the auditors are breathing down her neck."

"Screw the audit. It's Friday. You need to be home with Jack."

"What about you?" Hotch asked, raising his eyebrow at his friend.

"I don't have a Jack to go home to." Twiddling his thumbs, Rossi got thoughtful. "I wish I did."

"Maybe someday you'll meet that right woman," Hotch mused as he signed his name at the bottom of a report and closed the file. "Finished." Throwing his pen down, he leaned back. "You want to go out and get a drink?"

"Sounds good. Hey, didn't I see JJ leave just a little while ago?" Rossi asked.

"I had her finish up a couple reports before she left for the day. Why?"

"I thought she had a dinner date with Will and another couple tonight."

"She didn't mention anything to me." Hotch studied the older agent carefully. "Why this sudden interest in JJ?"

Rossi twitched his lip. "I don't know. I have this feeling that something is wrong in her life and it has something to do with Will."

"Maybe you should ask her."

Rossi thought carefully. "Maybe I should." His casual remark wasn't lost on Hotch. Looking closely, Hotch noticed something deep in Rossi's eyes. Was that a spark of interest? How had he missed that?

Opening his mouth to counter Rossi's remark, Hotch stopped as his cell rang. "It's Garcia." Hitting talk, he spoke: "Hotchner here."

At that same moment, Rossi's phone rang. Looking down, his brow crinkled. "It's Garcia."

"It can't be; I'm on the phone with Garcia," Hotch corrected.

Hitting the talk button, Rossi asked: "Garcia, what's wrong?"

"Bosses, we have a situation!" Garcia replied frantically. Now that she had the men on the phone, she could do her job. Whatever that job could be, but it had to be something other than sitting around helplessly listening to her best friend fighting for her life.

"What do you mean a situation?" the two men replied simultaneously and looked at one another.

"I was talking to JJ when someone broke into her house. I don't know what's going on, but she screamed." Garcia's fingers flew over her keyboard while at the same time she clicked on her mouses.

Standing up, Rossi sprinted to the door, Hotch close on his heels. "Can you patch us thru?"

"Already doing it Boss."

"_You like that bitch? Oh yeah! Tell me this is the way you like it."_

"_Please let me go," JJ cried. "I won't tell anyone."_

"_Shut up bitch or I cut your throat." _

"Do you hear that?" Garcia cried. Keeping her eyes on the plasma screens she tried to focus.

"I hear it," Rossi replied and raced down the stairs, thru the bullpen, to the elevator. Pressing the button, he waited a full second before giving up and bursting thru the door to the stair case. Hot on his heels, Hotch frantically tried to keep up.

"Garcia!" Hotch barked. "Do you have a location on her?"

"I'm working on it right now. I'm pulling up the coordinates and I've notified the rest of the team. They should be on the line right now.

"Hotch?" Emily Prentiss's voice came over the line. "Garcia called me; what is happening?"

"Hotch?" Morgan's voice broke thru the line. "Are you there? What's happening?"

"I'm not sure at the moment. Apparently Garcia was talking to JJ when she got attacked," Hotch replied as he raced down the stair case.

"Where is she?" Morgan ordered as another scream came over the line.

"Prentiss, Morgan, I need your locations," Garcia ordered.

"I'm at the corner of Wilmington and Roosevelt," Morgan replied.

"Just passed under the bridge at Truman Blvd," Prentiss answered.

Garcia put the information in. "Morgan, Prentiss, you're seventeen and twenty two minutes out respectively." Another scream came over the line.

"Shit! What was that?" Morgan barked.

"Garcia! What are her coordinates? Where is JJ?" Hotch demanded as he hit the door two seconds after Dave did. His hands dipped into his pants pocket and pulled out his car keys.

"It's coming up," Garcia replied, her voice shaking. "She's at her brownstone." The team was on the line but that wasn't helping her feelings of helplessness. "Oh God! What's happening?"

"Baby Girl," Morgan ordered calmly as he perfected a U-Turn in traffic and hit the gas pedal. "You have to pull it together. Do you hear me? Pull it together now!"

"Hotch? Where is Dave?" Prentiss asked. She tried to calm her hand from shaking as she inserted the key in the ignition and started the car. Throwing it in drive, she peeled out of her parking space.

"I'm right here," Rossi answered. Pulling out his keys, he disengaged the alarm to his truck and jumped inside.

"I have the coordinates," Garcia announced. "She's at her apartment. From what I can see, Hotch, you and Rossi are the closest to her."

"Call the police Garcia," Hotch ordered. "Let them know that a Federal agent is in trouble. Let them know we are on our way."

"What is that noise?" Garcia asked. Listening carefully, everyone paused. "Oh my god! That's Henry crying!"

"_Don't hurt my baby," JJ sobbed._

"_I'm not going to hurt him; but maybe I should bring him out here so he can watch."_

"Son of a bitch!" Morgan exploded.

"Can he hear us?" Prentiss asked.

"I have us on mute," Garcia assured. More keystrokes, more data entry while she connected to the police.

"9-1-1; what's your emergency?" The voice announced.

"My name is Penelope Garcia," she announced in a rushed tone, her fingers flying as fast as her words. "I need you to dispatch a unit to the address I have sent to your computer screen. The woman's name is Jennifer Jareau and is being attacked in her residence."

"How are you aware of this? Are you there? Ma'am, are you involved?"

"I have her on the line."

"Are you on the line with her right now?" The dispatcher asked while retrieving the information sent.

"I don't have time for pleasantries; the woman is a federal agent!" Garcia nearly shouted.

"She is a federal agent? I'm going to need to switch you to the FBI."

"Listen to me." Garcia's tone was clipped and sharp. "I am with the FBI! Send a car!"

"Ma'am, I'm not sure…"

"Be advised that FBI agents are enroute, but I need a patrol car ASAP. I am going to need EMS. The assailant may be armed." Garcia tried to pull herself together.

"A unit has been dispatched. Please remain on the line."

"Of course I'm going to remain on the line," Garcia retorted, "that is my best friend being hurt."

"Ma'am, please…" the dispatcher replied.

"Don't ma'am me! Get a patrol car there STAT!" Garcia yelled.

"Garcia!" All four voices commanded.

"Have you contacted Reid?" Hotch asked, as he threw his car into drive and followed behind Rossi.

"I can't get hold of him Boss."

"Try again!" Rossi roared as he steered his truck thru the traffic. His thoughts were on JJ and Henry. _Where was Will? Where was Will?_

"Where's Rossi?" Morgan asked. Hearing the beep for the incoming text, he looked down at the coordinates Garcia sent.

"He just pulled out. I'm not too far behind him," Hotch replied. Maneuvering into traffic, he tried to keep up with Rossi as the feeling of déjà vu overcame him. Shaking it off, he tried to concentrate on his mission: he needed to help JJ.

"Tell me you can make it in time," Garcia begged, the tears flowing down her cheeks.

"We are going to try." Mentally, Hotch crossed his fingers.

"Oh God! Don't say 'try'. That's JJ on the other line! Please hurry."

"Garcia! We're doing everything we can!" Morgan replied. "Are you recording all of this?"

Wiping a tear quickly, Garcia nodded. "Yes. I record everything that comes thru."

"Good girl. I'm going to need you to keep recording even after the police get there. Okay?" Morgan ordered. "No matter what happens, no matter what you hear, you _have_ to keep recording. I don't care what you hear."

"She's screaming again," Garcia wailed.

"Garcia, I need you to focus. How far are the police?" Prentiss demanded sternly.

"About seven minutes." Garcia tried to concentrate on the input of information. _Please God! Please help JJ,_ she prayed silently.

Another voice suddenly came on the line. "Reid here. What's happening?"

"Where are you?" Hotch asked.

Reid named a restaurant. Garcia put the name in her computer and pulled the GPS. "You are about fifteen minutes from JJ."

"Fifteen minutes from JJ? What are you talking about?" Reid inquired as he tried to make his excuses to his dinner guests and leave the restaurant.

"Garcia was talking to JJ when she was attacked at her place," Hotch replied.

"I'm almost there," Rossi snapped. "Hotch, are you behind me?"

"I'm right here Dave."

"I can't believe we're listening to this," Garcia choked on a sob. "This isn't happening."

"We're almost there. Have you notified EMS?" Morgan queried.

"Done. Oh God! Oh God! What is he doing?" Garcia tried not to focus on the noise coming from JJ's phone.

The sound of a tires screeching came over the line. "I'm here!" Rossi shouted. Running up the steps to the brownstone, he raced up the two flights of stairs to JJ's apartment. Weapon drawn, he waited outside the door for a full second. Lifting his leg, he gave a strong kick.

Immediately the door flung open. Stepping inside, he looked around. A noise caught his ear. Moving to the hallway, he heard glass breaking. Rounding the corner into the hallway, he saw a figure jump out the window. He tried to take aim, but decided not to risk it.

"Hotch, the UNSUB just went out the back window down the fire escape. He's heading north toward the alley."

Going back into the main room, he surveyed the area. The soft sound of sobs filled the air.

"JJ?" he called out. "It's Dave. Where are you?"

"Over here," her small voice whispered. Going around the couch, Dave saw her curled up in fetal position. Kneeling down beside her, he resisted touching her. Yet he found himself wanting to comfort her in some small way. Taking off his sports coat, he wrapped it around her. It wasn't much but he had to protect her dignity before the others arrived.

"Hold on, Cara. The team and paramedics are on their way." He averted his eyes from his injured friend and teammate. "Where is Will? Is he here?"

"No. He isn't here. Dave, help me," JJ pleaded.

"What do you need Cara?"

"Don't let them see me this way. Please." Her hand grasped his. "Please Dave."

"I promise."

"How is Henry?" JJ tried to sit up, but Rossi held her back.

"Stay here; I'll go check on him."

"Don't leave me." JJ pulled Dave close and clung to him as though her life depended upon it. And maybe it did. "Don't leave me," she repeated hoarsely. Everything hurt, but Dave was there. He was strong, and he wouldn't let anything hurt her.

"Dave? Are you in here?" Hotch called out. Entering the room, with Morgan close behind, weapons drawn, Hotch made a visual sweep. He saw Rossi on the other side of the couch. Stepping over, he stopped as Rossi held up a hand.

"Hotch, Morgan do me a favour? Go to the bedroom and get me a blanket and then check on Henry."

"Is it clear?" Hotch's instincts were on high alert.

"As far as I can tell. Is there anyone else here?" Dave asked. JJ shook her head. "It's okay. It's clear."

"Morgan, go check on Henry while I help Dave." The younger agent nodded and went to the back bedroom.

A minute passed before Hotch came back with a blanket. His famous stoic look in place, he handed the fabric to Rossi. Looking around his eyes picked up on the little things he had been trained to notice. Mentally he listed everything.

Unfolding the blanket, Dave placed it over JJ. "There. It's okay," he comforted the sobbing woman who was still clinging to him. He had seen a lot of things in his career, but never had he felt as hopeless as he did at this moment. At a loss for words, he slowly wrapped his arms around the frightened woman and held her gently.

Hotch needed to be doing something, but he wasn't sure what exactly that thing was. He tried to remain calm while inside the desire to hunt down the person responsible for the pain inflicted on JJ raged thru him. He tried to quell the urge to kill as he watched Rossi comfort the hurt, battered, and sobbing woman on the floor. "Where is everyone?" Hotch asked out loud.

Within seconds, the room was filled with Prentiss, police and EMS. Trying to maintain order, Rossi instructed Morgan to help Hotch with Henry.

"Prentiss, stay on the line with Garcia." Lifting JJ up in his arms, Dave helped place her on the stretcher. "It's okay, Cara. Let them take care of you. We will be right behind you. Prentiss, go help Morgan with Henry."

"Dave," Prentiss whispered, staring down at JJ's prone body. "Is that blood?"

"It's bad, Prentiss" Rossi muttered under his breath. The anger he felt was apparent in his tone. Prentiss nodded her understanding. "I need you to help Hotch and Morgan take care of things here. I'm going with her."

"You sure you don't want me to go?" Prentiss whispered low as she watched the paramedics tend to her best friend. "She's just been violated and the presence of a man might make things worse for her."

"Rossi," JJ called out.

"Right now she needs me. Until we can get a hold of Will, I know JJ is going to want you to help take care of Henry. Get all of this taken care of and then meet us at the hospital."

"Do you want me to call Strauss?"

"I'm pretty sure Garcia's on it."

"Sir?" a paramedic spoke up. "We're getting ready to move her out."

"You got it Hotch?" Rossi asked.

"Go with them Dave; we'll be right behind you."

"How's Henry?" JJ asked weakly, her eyes frantically searched for her son.

"I have him JJ," Morgan replied and brought the little boy over. Gently JJ touched her baby's cheek. "Don't worry, Angel; we'll take care of him."

"Let's get her out of here," commanded one of the paramedics.

As the police started making their inquiries, Hotch tried to answer their questions while Prentiss and Morgan gathered up Henry and a few of his items to remove him from the crime scene.

Holding JJ's hand, Rossi followed the stretcher out the apartment door.


	4. Chapter 4

**_All the players are finally being brought in with this chapter and reality is going to begin to set in as sides are taken and loyalties are tested. _**

**_Please leave a review or PM._**

**_I don't own Criminal Minds, but that doesn't mean I can't manipulate the characters for my own pleasure._**

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**Believe Again**

Erin Strauss could count on one hand all of the things she truly hated. And on one finger she could count the things she truly with all of her heart loathed.

After tonight, she was going to need a second finger.

She loved her job. She loved the power and the prestige and the responsibility. Unless that responsibility dictated that she had to dress up and make an appearance at an embassy dinner. She couldn't force a smile for her agents, and she hated having to force one for dignitaries and politicians she couldn't give a wit about.

Smoothing down the wrinkle in her taffeta skirt, she reached for another glass of champagne and sighed. Of all the places she had to be stuck at on a Friday night why did it have to be the French Embassy? And a birthday party at that!

Sipping the cool crisp liquid, she swallowed it slowly. _Erin, it will not cast the FBI in a great light if you get drunk before dinner, _she reprimanded herself. If only something would happen to get her out of this political obligation. Checking her phone to make sure it was on, she tossed it back in her clutch.

Feeling a body sidle up against her, she tried to keep her eyes straight.

"Having fun Erin?" Tom Petersen the FBI Director asked teasingly.

"You know I haven't," she replied dryly.

"Where's Phillip?"

Erin gave a bitter laugh. "He wouldn't be caught dead at one of these events. He'd rather let me deal with the politics while he deals with the kids. He said that political embassy galas weren't in his job description when he married me."

Tom knew when to keep his mouth shut, but he nodded in agreement.

"How come my birthday parties are never like this?" He watched the people pass by in their designer clothes and expensive jewelry.

"Because none of these people would be caught dead throwing beers and whiskey shots back at a backyard barbeque."

"Touché."

Erin painted a saccharin smile on her face and nodded at the politicians who passed by and nodded. "Tell me again why I am here?"

"Because the FBI gave you a title and they pay you the big bucks." He reached for her glass and took it from her.

"I am going to really need a raise after this evening comes to a close."

"Really Erin. It's a Friday night; I doubt you had anything else pending on your agenda. At least you'll get a free meal and semi-intelligent conversation."

Strauss leveled her famous gaze at him. "The meal is French and the conversation is going to be bullshit. I have to deal enough of it at work; I don't need to hear it from politicians and dictators."

"You are only upset because you're surrounded by killers and bad guys and you can't do anything but paste a smile on your face."

"You know me so well Tom."

"Almost better than you know yourself." He sipped the champagne. "I'll bet I can read your mind."

She took the glass from him and sipped. "So what am I thinking right now?"

"That you would sell your soul to be anywhere but here- especially when the first course is caviar and consommé."

"I'd feel better if this was at the Russian Embassy; at least they serve Borscht," Erin groused.

Tom's eyes twinkled mischievously. "Yes, cold _beet_ soup over tasteless broth is a hot menu item."

"I can add salt to it." She looked around at the room. Even the violin music was boring. "What I'd pay for anything to happen."

"I believe if you can get out of the speech from the President of Lithuania, you might treat the guests to a dance on the table tops."

"I don't know about that, but I really need to get out of here." At that moment her cell rang. Pulling it out of her clutch, she flipped it open and looked at the caller ID. _FBI/BAU Headquarters?_ Her brow furrowed. Hitting "call" she spoke.

"Director Erin Strauss."

"Director Strauss, this is Penelope Garcia."

Relieved for the interruption she still maintained her authorative tone. "How may I help you?"

Garcia was panicked. She knew that Strauss was at an Embassy party and wasn't supposed to be disturbed, but this was important. "Director, we have a situation."

Her spine went erect as her senses went on alert. Tech Analyst Garcia hardly if ever contacted her after working hours; whatever the situation is was dire.

"What is it?" Strauss demanded. Tom went to speak but she held up her hand.

"Agent Jareau was attacked at her home tonight."

Strauss tried to comprehend the information. "What do you mean Agent Jareau was _attacked_ in her home?"

"I was on the phone with her when it happened."

"Have you notified the team?"

"I conferenced them in while the attack happened. They got there moments after it happened."

"Did they catch him?" Strauss snapped her fingers. Tom ran off as she made her way to the front door of the embassy.

"No ma'am. He made his escape."

"Was Henry hurt?"

"No ma'am."

"Where is Will?"

"We are trying to locate him."

Strauss stepped outside and whispered that she needed her limo ASAP. "It's an emergency," she whispered. Turning back to Garcia, she demanded. "Where is Agent Jareau right now?"

"She was transported to George Washington Memorial."

"Do you have a medical status on her?" _Where was that limo?_

Garcia paused. "No ma'am; all I have is the preliminary report from Agent Rossi."

"Agent Rossi? Where is he?"

"He went with her to the hospital."

"He's with her now?"

"Yes ma'am."

"And the rest of the team?"

"They are finishing up with the police and investigators on the scene."

The limo pulled up to the steps. Quickly she made her way down the steps. Getting inside, she closed the door.

"Director, from what I can gather, JJ was raped."

Strauss pulled in her breath sharply. Relying on her inner strength, she braced herself against the news. "I am on my way to the hospital now. Keep me posted. Also inform Agent Rossi that I am going to be there momentarily."

"Yes Director," Garcia replied and disconnected.

Strauss flipped her phone shut and turned to the driver. "George Washington Memorial and step on it."

As the limo peeled out of the driveway, Erin Strauss tried to digest the horrible news. She had wanted to get out of a horrible dinner and speech at any cost, but never at the cost of one of her agents' lives.

_Be careful what you wish for Erin. It might just come true._

Holding a finger tip to the corner of her eye, she stemmed a tear. There was no way in hell she was going to let her team see weakness on her part. She would be the rock everyone knew and despised.

Flipping her phone open, she hit a couple of numbers and held the receiver to her ear. Patiently she waited as the phone on the other end rang.

"Alan? It's Erin Strauss. Agent Jareau has been attacked. I am on my way to George Washington Hospital. I need you to meet me there."

Disconnecting, Strauss started to wish for the ride to the hospital to go faster, but stopped as she decided that perhaps it wouldn't be wise to tempted fate twice in one night.  
***

Will La Montange sat at the bar sipping his beer. The loud music, smoke, and dozens of conversations weaved around him, but he had his mind on something else…or rather someone else. And as her hand moved slowly and enticingly up his thigh, he felt his body harden with desire.

"You like that baby?" she bleached blonde big buxom woman whispered in his ear.

"You know I do, chere," Will replied. Moving his face close to hers, he pressed an open kiss to her mouth. He was making out at a bar with a woman he couldn't remember the name of while JJ was staying at work, and he didn't feel guilty. Not one bit.

He was tired of being JJ's lap dog. He had his needs too, and he was past sitting back while she devoted all of her time with the FBI and that rag tag bunch she considered more of a family than the blood she had at home.

By God, he was going to get his dick wet tonight with or without her. Feeling his date's tongue against his, he knew how the night was going to end. Fuck JJ and her selfishness.

The sound of his phone ringing brought him back to the present. Pulling away, he tried to get himself together. Before he could answer the cell, his date yanked it out of his hands and hit talk.

"Is this the missus?" she greeted.

"No, this is tech analyst Penelope Garcia with the FBI. May I speak to Will La Montange?"

"I'm sorry sweetie, but I'm in the middle of fucking his brains out right now; I'll tell him to call you back later if you want."

Pen tried to take a moment to gather her thoughts. "Listen to me you oversexed floosie, put Will on the phone now before I delete your voicemail and email accounts permanently and make your world a living hell!"

Handing Will the phone, the woman sat back and pouted. "She wants to talk to you."

"La Montange speaking."

"Will this is Penelope…"

"Look, I don't know what JJ told you, but anything that is happening right now she brought on herself."

"What are you talking about?" Garcia sputtered, unable to comprehend his venomous remark.

"I should have known she would go crying to you about how I went to dinner without her tonight. But believe me, she stood me up. As for you calling me to plead her case…thanks but no thanks. I found someone else who can give me what I need." He went to disconnect.

Pen felt her anger boil. "I'm calling to inform you that JJ and your son Henry were the victims of a home invasion tonight you Cajun prick, and are down at George Washington Memorial."

Will felt his world suddenly begin to spin. "What did you say? When? Where?"

"I guess you are stupid _and _deaf. Let's see if you understand this better: you better hope and pray you get to the hospital before I do!" Garcia ended the call.

Will threw a couple of bills on the bar counter. "I have to go."

"Will I see you again?"

Without a response, he left the bar on a run.  
***

Morgan's cell rang. "Talk to me Garcia."

"Derek, where are you right now?"

"I'm still at JJ's apartment. Why?"

"I need you and Emily to get to GWH ASAP."

Morgan felt his gut sour. "Angel face, you better start from the beginning. What's wrong?"

"In two words: Will La Montange."

"Angel, that's three words."

"Which is how many pieces that bastard will be in if you don't get to the hospital before I do."

Morgan had only heard that tone once before. What ever Will had done was enough to make his sweet angel suddenly turn rabid and craving blood. "I'm leaving now. But talk to me. Tell me what happened."

As Morgan rushed from the brownstone, Pen filled him in.


	5. Chapter 5

_JJ is on her way to the hospital and Dave is by her side lending what comfort and help that he can. Of course, during the moment of crisis, Dave is going to discover something about himself he never knew as the tragedy awakens emotions he thought were dormant, and creates new ones he's never known. _

* * *

**Believe Again**

A small crowd had gathered outside of JJ's brownstone as she was wheeled outside. Ignoring the questions, Dave held tight to her hand as she was loaded into the ambulance. Hearing the lock of the gurney, he jumped in just as the doors were closed and they began racing down the street.

"I'm going to have to get some information," the black haired EMT stated as he placed the blood pressure cuff on JJ's arm. At the beep, he looked up and wrote the numbers down. Holding her hand, he clipped on the pulse ox indicator. Again he wrote the number down. "What is your name?"

"Jennifer," she replied.

"How old are you Jennifer?" he asked, watching the monitors.

"Thirty."

"Are you allergic to any meds?"

"Penicillin." She held up her wrist to show her medic-alert band.

"Anything else?"

"No." She shook her head in denial.

"How much do you weigh?"

"One twenty."

"Have you had anything to drink tonight?"

"What does this have to do with what happened?" Dave interrupted. Gently he stroked JJ's hair to keep her calm.

"It's just routine questions, sir."

JJ shook her head. "No. Nothing."

"When was your LMP?" he asked, his pen poised. JJ remained silent. "Jennifer? I need you to answer."

JJ closed her eyes and turned her head away.

"Is this really necessary?" Dave whispered harshly.

"I have to ask so I can relay the information to the physicians who will be tending to her."

"Will this be asked at the hospital?"

"Yes."

"Then it can wait until we get there," Dave state in a tone that dared the young man to argue. Tightening his grip on JJ's hand, he stared at her face as the EMT radioed the information he had to the hospital.

Ten minutes later they pulled up to the Emergency Exit. Jumping out once the ambulance reached the entrance, Dave stepped aside long enough for JJ to be off loaded and taken inside before taking his place beside her. Whisked into an examination room, Dave waited patiently for Hotch to arrive.

"JJ? How are you feeling?" Dave asked as he pulled up a chair beside her gurney. He hated hospitals. He hated the nauseating sterile smell of Lysol and the bright white walls and cheap tile. He hated the smell of oxygen and stiff attitude of the staff. But worse than all, he hated the smell of death.

Sniffing back tears, she kept her head turned away. "I'd rather be any where but here."

"Understandable."

"How is Henry?"

"Morgan is taking him until Garcia can get hold of Will," Dave reassured. Startled by the fresh sobs, he stroked her hand gently. "Cara, what's wrong?"

"I am so sorry that you had to see me like this."

"There is nothing to be sorry for; this was out of your control."

"This is all my fault."

He took in her battered face, the black eye rapidly swelling shut, the cut lip with the dried blood. "What do you mean?"

"I opened the door without checking first. I just swung the door open and let him in! How did I let this happen? I am smarter than this."

"This had nothing to do with intelligence Jen," Dave soothed as he stroked her hand gently. He tried to concentrate on the softness of her skin and not the anger building up inside. And somewhere deep inside a feeling he thought was long gone, slowly awoke.

"I didn't fight back. My gun was right there and I didn't use it."

"He had a weapon, didn't he?" JJ nodded slowly. "You were at a disadvantage," he assured. "You did what you had to do to protect Henry. Any one of us would have done the same for that little boy." Not exactly true- but at the moment it wasn't about right and wrong; it was about not letting her immerse herself in guilt.

"I let him in. It's my fault." Her body shook with sobs. Dave found himself wanting to reach out and hold her. Offer her some kind of comfort. And it scared him. Where the hell was Will?

"Tell me what happened."

"I can't."

"You're going to have to tell me. Or a police officer." JJ shook her head violently. "Cara, we have to catch this guy."

"Can it wait? Please?" Her eyes searched his for understanding and mercy.

Dave stood up and reached for the box of Kleenex. Grabbing a few tissues, he gently dabbed at JJ's tears. Staring at the split lip and the cut across her cheek, he literally had to restrain himself from cleaning her up. He knew that all evidence had to be preserved the way it was presented to the crime scene photographer otherwise the case could be dismissed if and when they ever caught the bastard who did this to one of their own.

If? There was no if about it; they were going to catch that son of a bitch. His fists contracted for a moment as he imagined wrapping his hands around the UNSUB's neck and squeezing tightly as the pathetic life slowly ebbed from his body…watching that sorry ass excuse of a human beg for mercy… He felt himself become restless. He had to get out of there and find the animal who had done this! He had to get justice for JJ.

"Dave?" JJ whispered. "Are you alright?"

Alright? _Alright? _He looked down at the battered woman trying to be strong, the woman who the whole team depended upon now depended on the team for her strength. Then he looked down at his shirt spattered and smeared with her blood. As the anger flowed thru him, Dave took hold of her hand and squeezed. He had to focus on something other than his feelings. "Cara, can I ask you a question? Where is Will?"

Fresh tears broke free. "He went out."

"Weren't you supposed to meet him for dinner tonight?"

"We were supposed to meet friends tonight. He went out by himself."

"Why would he do that?" Dave coaxed her on.

"He told me to get home. I told him…I told him that I had to work late; Strauss needed those reports. He got angry and said some things…" She shakily brushed a tear away from the corner of her eye.

Dave weighed his words carefully. "What did he tell you cara?"

"That he hated that I cared more for the team than I did for him and Henry; that I would lay my life down for Hotch faster than I would my son."

"That's not true. You know it. He was trying to hurt you."

"He told me he was going to go home with some 'sweet young thing', that he was tired of being at my beck and call. He was going to get his needs filled."

Dave couldn't breathe, he couldn't think, and the wall was the only thing he knew he could get away with pulverizing. But he didn't want to scare JJ. She had been traumatized enough with watching him being hauled away for destruction of hospital property. Instead, he tried to concentrate on JJ and not the anger building up inside. But it was a losing battle.

He wanted to hurt something. He HAD to hurt something. Make it pay for what JJ was going thru; what she was about to go thru. Where the hell was Will- the man who was supposed to love and protect JJ and Henry? Why wasn't he at the brownstone? Why would he have left JJ alone?

Actually, in his book, there was no reason Will could give to explain what he did. There was no excuse to explain away why he left JJ alone. And there was no forgiving Will for not being at JJ's side. He had had suspicions about Will for quite some time, but not until tonight had he been able to fit all the pieces of the puzzle.

Will was going to show up. Knowing Garcia as well as he did, there was no doubt in his mind that Will had been found and notified of tonight's tragedy and was on his way here. And he was going to demand to see JJ. She didn't need Will and his false words of comfort. She had been hurt and betrayed by two men tonight- one she didn't know and another she thought she knew. Dave wasn't going to let her be hurt again. Whether or not she was aware, JJ had made him her protector and it was a role he was going to embrace with everything he had.

Will was going to arrive and want to see JJ. Dave would only have one response: Over his dead body. And if there was one thing David Rossi didn't do, it was lay down for anyone- including selfish assholes.


	6. Chapter 6

_As the team makes their way to the hospital, Will decides to show up to lend his support. Too bad Garcia forgot to call him back and inform him that he is persona non grata. Well, no time like the present to let him know._

**Believe Again**

Deep in thoughts revolving around mayhem and revenge, Dave was startled by a soft knock on the door. Slowly it opened a crack.

"Dave?" Hotch called out.

Looking up, he watched the BAU chief come in and close the door. "Aaron."

Stepping inside, Hotch glanced at the broken, battered woman lying on the gurney and then looked at Dave. Jerking his head slightly, he motioned Dave over. "How is she?"

"Guilt ridden. An emotional wreck. Traumatized. Everything you would expect."

"The paramedics said she wouldn't answer a couple of questions."

"I don't know Aaron. Maybe when they get the forensics team in, she might open up."

"Where is Will?" Hotch whispered.

"Don't get me started; not right now."

"Does JJ know where he went?"

"Not really. He told JJ that he was tired of waiting for her and he was going home with another woman tonight. He wasn't even home when this happened."

Hotch closed his eyes and shook his head. "Oh no."

"What?"

"I demanded that Garcia get hold of him and tell him what happened."

Dave straightened up. "Where is he?"

"I don't know. I'm waiting for Garcia to call back."

"So he could be heading here?"

"It's a possibility. Dave, we can't have a scene when he gets here."

"I'm not going to cause a scene; I'm just going to get a few things clear."

Another knock on the door and a team of forensics experts came in followed by a doctor. "I'm sorry agents, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave right now."

"Dave?" JJ called out.

"Doctor…" Hotch flicked his eyes to catch the name, "Bedford. That woman is one of our agents and has been through a horrible ordeal. I'm requesting that Agent Rossi stay with her while you collect the evidence."

"He will have to stay out of the way."

"Dave?" Hotch issued a warning.

"You have my word."

"I'll be outside." Closing the door, Hotch took his place against the wall and waited.

The sound of footsteps running down the corridor made him look up. Will! Wiping the emotions from his face, Hotch waited for the detective.

"Where is she?" Will demanded.

"In the exam room being treated."

"I want to see her!"

"I can't allow that; the forensics team is gathering evidence."

"Is it true?" Will ran a hand thru his hair and looked around. "Was she assaulted and…and…" his voice trailed off.

"Raped?" Hotch finished. His steel look froze Will in place. "Yes."

"Mon Dieu! I have to see her!" Will started forward but was stopped by Hotch.

"JJ is being taken care of; shouldn't you be worried about Henry and his welfare?"

Looking around the area, Will tried to locate his son. "Where is Henry? Was he hurt?"

"He was in the other room when this happened, but he was unharmed."

"Where is he?" The concern was evident in his voice, but it wasn't enough to persuade Hotch who centered himself between Will and the exam room.

"With Emily back at the brownstone."

"I want to see him!" Will demanded angrily.

"I'm sure when Agent Morgan arrives he can escort you back to your place."

"What do you mean 'escort' me?"

"As a detective, you know the area is a crime scene and has to be preserved. I'm sure they will allow you to gather some items."

"What about Henry?"

"We can make arrangements for you two. Unless you have somewhere else to stay."

The sound of more footsteps approaching interrupted the two men. Fast, frantic, clacking filled the corridor as the whirlwind named Penelope came into view. It only took a second for her brain to register the man standing next to Hotch. In an instant she was beside the pair.

"You!" she raged, fire shooting from her eyes. "How dare you be here?"

"I have every right!" Will countered.

"Wanna bet?" Pen hissed, as she pulled her short frame more erect. Will seemed unimpressed. If she could intimidate him with her height, she could do it through her tone. "Listen to me mister, I know what you did tonight, and I have it on tape. You might think you're mister bigshot detective with the slutty whores you replaced my buttercup with, but I can make you disappear literally and figuratively." She moved in closer. "And no one will ever miss you because you will not have existed. Capice?"

"Garcia!" Morgan called out between heavy pants as he pulled himself up from the run he had broken into from the parking lot to the where his team stood. "Baby Girl, I swear, the next time you jump out of the car without waiting for it to stop…so help me…" he stopped as he took in Will. "Son of a bitch!"

"Probably the only thing I haven't called him," Garcia muttered.

"What is he doing here?" Morgan asked, his eyes narrowed and his hands contracted into fists that flexed with each word.

"He wants to see JJ," Hotch replied.

"Over my dead body!" Morgan declared and moved in closer. If Hotch somehow dropped the ball, he was going to make sure he was going to pick it up ASAP!

"That can be arranged Agent Morgan." Will dared him to make a move.

"I think I might want to remind you that I am still the unit chief," Hotch spoke up. "And I want to know what is going on. Preferably _before_ the blood shed."

As the pair glared at one another, Hotch tried to comprehend the scene when the exam door opened and Dave stepped out. For a brief moment their eyes met.

As Will's eyes widened, his thoughts raced. _What the hell is _he_ doing in there? Of course David fucking Rossi went out of his way to try to make him feel second best during normal times, now he had to take this tragedy and rub his nose in it in front of the FBI. Fucking son of a bitch! Should have known the bastard would find a way to worm his way into JJ's life…and kick him when he was down. _

"Now, why am I not surprised that it would be _you_ walking out of JJ's room?" Will drawled deliberately.

"If you had been where you were supposed to be, I wouldn't have been in there," Dave growled. "But that's who you are; you let people pick the pieces up around you and cry about how your feelings were trampled on." Dave clenched and unclenched his fists as he tried to reign in his temper. "Why don't you do all of us- JJ included- a favour and turn around and crawl back under your rock like the coward shit you are?"

"I've seen the looks you've been giving her lately; since you're fucking my woman, it only makes sense that I had to go get a piece of ass for myself."

"Ummm, Hotch," Morgan spoke up. He looked toward the Unit Chief out of the corner of his eye his body poised to jump between the two men. "I think he's serious."

"Yeah," Hotch grunted, grimly satisfied as he watched Dave's fist connect with Will's jaw. "It does."

One moment was all his brain needed to register Will's words, and before anyone could think, he grabbed Will by the shirt collar and threw him up against the wall. "For that, I'm going to kill you slowly and glean nothing but personal satisfaction from every scream."

Morgan grabbed Dave's arm. "Let him go Rossi."

"Hotch, take Morgan and Penelope somewhere," Dave ordered, his eyes focused and unstaring at Will's face. "This is between me and this asshole." His eyes steady and unwavering, he dared Will to move, to speak, to flinch. He had to hurt something…someone, and this piece of shit had just offered himself up on a silver platter.

"Tell him," Dave snapped. "Tell him what you did tonight. Tell him what you said to JJ. You were a real man on the phone then, be a real man now. I dare you."

Will swallowed hard. Glancing at the exam room that held the mother of his son, he wished for salvation of some kind. He would take it in any form.

"Will?" Hotch prompted. It didn't take an expert to read into Dave's comment. No one spoke though their silence spoke volumes.

"Excuse me?" Doctor Bedford spoke up as he tried to comprehend the scene in the corridor. "Agent Rossi, we are going to begin the rape kit."

Not taking his eyes off Will, Dave spoke to the woman beside him. "Penelope, go inside with JJ and be with her. Okay?"

"Sure thing boss." She looked at Will. "You'd better be gone before I get back." The clack of her heels faded as she closed the door behind her.

Without Garcia's presence, the three men advanced closer to Will. Feeling the sweat run under his collar, he tried to think of a way to break free.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kick your ass right now! Go ahead!" Dave's voice lowered as his anger surfaced.

Will struggled to break loose. "Let me go Rossi! This is between me and JJ."

"The hell it is! Take a good look at my shirt!" Dave tightened his grip. "That's JJ's blood! Do you know why it's on my shirt and not yours you son of a bitch? Do you?"

Morgan looked at Hotch for assistance. He had never seen Rossi in such a rage. And it scared the hell out of him. It wasn't that the thought of kicking Will's ass hadn't crossed his mind once Pen had filled him in about the phone call, but there was a difference between beating a man and killing him. And Rossi was about to commit the latter. "Rossi…"

"Hotch, do me a favour, and take Derek out for a cup of coffee. Now," Dave commanded, his eyes never blinking. "I said now!"

Desperately, Will looked from Dave to Hotch to Morgan.

"Let him go Agent Rossi," a female voice called out.

Erin Strauss.

"Give me one good reason why I should, Erin? You don't know the half of what this man did and didn't do tonight."

"Would someone care to explain what is going on, please?" Hotch asked.

"Yes, I would love to hear everyone's explanations. Detective La Montange, where exactly were you tonight?" Strauss asked evenly, her eyes stared unblinking into his.

"I'll tell you where he was," Morgan spoke up. "He left JJ home alone tonight so he could get his dick wet."

"That's a lie," Will replied.

"Agent Morgan…" Strauss cautioned.

"Garcia has your call on record you scumbag! She heard the other woman answer the phone and say that she was fucking your brains out. Do you want to deny that, because I'm sure she can pull it up and refresh your memory?" Morgan leaned over Dave's shoulder.

"Is this true?" Strauss looked at the pale detective. "Put him down Rossi so I can talk to him."

Dave loosened his grip and let Will slide down so his feet could be on the floor.

"Honestly, I don't answer to you." Will's eyes snapped with anger at the four people standing around him. Strauss stepped forward.

"Oh but yes Detective, you certainly do. My agent, who is the mother of your child, was viciously attacked and assaulted in _your_ residence tonight. She was supposed to be out with you, but was at home. I want to know why she was alone and you were…what was it you said, Agent Morgan? Getting your dick wet?" She took another step and leveled a menacing gaze. "You might think that you can fuck with Agent Jareau, but you don't want to fuck with me."

Will stayed quiet while the group waited for his response. Shrugging, he moved forward. At the last second, Dave threw him up against the wall and leveled his forearm across the man's throat. "My boss asked you a question. Now answer her!"

"What I do in my spare time is none of your damn business. I'm not at your fucking beck and call like JJ, so I don't have to answer to you."

"Then my kicking your ass should be no problem either." Dave started to move in. The sound of heavy breathing filled the corridor.

"Let him go Rossi," Strauss commanded.

"I can't do that Erin."

"I said to let him go Agent Rossi. I will deal with him." Her unemotional gaze watched Dave drop Will to the ground. Leaning over the man who was rubbing his arm pits to dull the pain of his shirt being ground into his skin, Erin whispered loud enough for everyone in the circle to hear. "Detective La Montange, I have one word of advice: Run!"

Picking himself up, Will looked at the BAU team. Brushing off his jeans, he muttered, "To hell with all of you." Then he left.

Dave turned to Strauss and advanced on her. "Why the fuck did you do that?"

"I can only allow so much rope to let you hang yourself, Agent Rossi. Count yourself blessed."

"He left her alone tonight. By herself," he raged. "If he had been half the man…he should have been there. You should have let me have him. I know fifty ways to get rid of him where no one will ever find him…"

"David!" Strauss broke in. "Enough! I'm the one who made her stay tonight to get those reports finished. Are you going to dispose of my body?"

Watching Will's slim figure saunter down the corridor and then disappear around the corner, Dave emitted a low growl. Without warning, he turned and punched the nearest wall. The sound of his fist busting thru the thick plaster broke the silence. Wordlessly, the team stood and drank in the scene.

"Agent Morgan," Strauss announced, "follow Detective La Montange to his residence please." The agent rushed off. Turning to her older agent, she clicked her tongue. "That's going to require paperwork."

"Less than if I had hit him. I didn't use my writing hand."

She looked at Dave's rapidly swelling hand. "Comforting. Then you call fill out the accident report. Agent Hotchner, for once I'm on your side. Take Agent Rossi down for x-rays. I'll stay here with Agent Jareau."

"I have to stay with JJ," Dave started to protest.

"Agent Jareau is in no mood to see anyone at this moment."

"I have to question her."

"Then you question her when you get back. I am not going to tell you again. Go. Agent Hotchner, if he gives you a hard time, you have my permission to shoot him."

The pair left quietly. Exhausted and overwhelmed, Erin sat down in one of the chairs. Making sure she was alone, she buried her face in her hands.


	7. Chapter 7

_**I apologize for the gap between updates. This was a very difficult chapter to write. No matter how much research I put into it, nothing can come close to what really transpires during the collection process of a rape kit. I felt it best to tell it mostly thru Garcia's eyes. If any mistakes are made, please forgive me. It was not intentional. **_

_**Special thanks to ilovetvalot for her valuable information.**_

* * *

**Believe Again**

Penelope Garcia looked around the sterile white room and wished she could be anywhere else. But as she looked down at the face of her best friend, the mother of her godson- JJ- she knew that she had to be strong. If not for herself, for the woman lying on the exam table.

Brushing a lock of blond hair back from JJ's face, Garcia couldn't help but notice it was encrusted with blood. A wave of emotions washed over her as she averted her eyes from JJ. Looking around, she watched the small team get ready to perform the examination.

"Pen," JJ, whispered, her hand grasping the other woman's so tight it felt like a vice. "Where is Henry?"

"He is with Emily at the brownstone. She got him back to sleep, and as soon as this is over, I'm going to run over and pick him up to stay with me and Kevin."

JJ started crying. "I'm sorry you have to be here."

Garcia felt the tears well up. "I don't mind. You need me…and I would rather be here than anywhere else." Closing her eyes, she kicked herself hard. "I'm sorry, that didn't come out the way I wanted."

"It's okay." JJ's tried to comfort her friend. It was the least she could do for making her friends drop everything for her.

A female doctor came over. "Hello, I'm Doctor Beck. Jennifer, we are going to start the rape kit now. I'm going to go over some pretty basic information on what we are about to do. With you being in the FBI, you already know that we are going to collect evidence to help identify your assailant. I'm going to ask you a few questions. They may sound personal, but it's necessary. I know it's going to hurt and it's invasive, but the faster we get this completed, the faster we can get this down to the lab."

JJ nodded. "Okay."

"Is there any chance you could be pregnant?"

"No. I'm on birth control."

"The pill?"

"Depo Provera."

The doctor made a note. "The date of your LMP?"

JJ closed her eyes. "Last Monday."

Involuntarily, Pen's mind started doing the math. It wasn't possible, but she crossed her fingers anyhow. Giving herself a mental shake, she tried to focus on the moment. She needed to burn this moment to memory if and when the case ever went to trial. _Not if, Penelope, she cursed herself, WHEN! We will get him!_

"Did your assailant use a condom?" Doctor Beck continued.

JJ shook her head. "I don't think so."

"How is this important?" Garcia asked.

"Because there is a risk of STDs." The doctor made another note. "Once we're finished here, I'm going to prescribe an STD cocktail for you to take. Also we are going to administer an HIV cocktail along with the Morning After Pill. All of these procedures are preventative measures and you do reserve the right to opt out at any time." Setting the clipboard down, she turned back to JJ. "We are going to need you to take off your clothing and place it in this plastic bag."

Garcia helped JJ sit up while she removed her t-shirt and bra. Gingerly she dropped it in the clear bag. Lying back, she closed her eyes and tried to will the nightmare of the moment away.

"Jennifer, I'm going to need your panties."

"He tore them off. I think they might be back at my apartment."

"The FBI is there," Garcia spoke up. "I am sure that they are bagging and collecting all the evidence. When I'm done here, I'll call and make sure it gets here."

"Thank you." Doctor Beck sealed the bag, signed and dated it and handed it to another person in the team. "I'm going to have to ask you to stay still as we photograph your injuries. I'm going to need you to remain still. Do you think you can do that for me?"

Looking at Pen, JJ glanced back at the doctor and nodded. Lying motionless, she tried not tense up as every inch of her body was photographed and each bruise and laceration was examined and documented. Closing her eyes, she tried to will herself away from the room, but her brain refused to cooperate.

Never in her life had Penelope Garcia felt so helpless. Watching her best friend, the mother of her beloved godson, lying there being photographed was the most humiliating thing she had ever been thru. And the sad part was that it was JJ who had been assaulted. With each sound of the camera shutter, Pen felt her rage build. It was unfair. It was undignified. Holding JJ's hand tightly as she was rolled to her side and photographed, Pen bit her lip hard to keep the tears at bay. But she wouldn't cry.

As the minutes dragged on, Pen felt her grief slowly being replaced by anger and the need for revenge. Averting her eyes from where they were photographing between JJ's thighs, she vowed when she was done here, she and Kevin were going to catch this creep. If it was the last thing they ever did.

Finally the camera stilled. "Okay Jennifer, I'm going to hand you a gown. You may put it on before we start the next step in evidence collection."

Pen helped JJ into the hospital gown. Was it ironic that it was her fingers trembling as she tried to tie the gown? Securing the ties, she felt JJ shiver.

"What's wrong?" Pen asked.

"I'm cold," JJ chattered, goose bumps covered her skin as she shivered again.

"Can she have a blanket?" Pen inquired. It was more of a request than a question. She didn't notice who handed her the cotton blanket. Unwrapping it, she placed it gently over her shivering friend.

"Jennifer, I'm going to need you scoot down to the end of the table." Doctor Beck sat down on a stool. "You may be familiar with this procedure, but I'm still going to talk you thru it."

"Does that help?" Garcia asked.

"I find that explaining the procedure helps the patient relax since they know what is happening." Pulling a cart over, she picked up a Wood's lamp. "I'm going to check for semen residue." Turning off the lamp, she set it down and picked up a small object. "Now I'm combing for any hair from the assailant."

Opening a plastic bag, she dropped the comb in and sealed it. "As I get the last part of the exam ready, we are going to need to clip your nails for any DNA."

As the sound of the clippers made an irritating noise as JJ felt pressure on her fingertips. She breathed back a sniffle.

"What's wrong Jayje?" Garcia asked.

"My nails; I just got a manicure."

"Oh Jayje. It's okay." Garcia smoothed back the woman's hair and placed a kiss on her head. "They'll grow back and when they do, I'll get you a new manicure."

"I liked that one."

Garcia tried to hold herself together. "I know." She felt JJ tighten her grip to the point JJ thought her hand was going to break. But she kept it inside. There would be time later to let it out, but right now, here, the best thing she could be was strong.

"Now, Jennifer, I'm going to ask that you try not to tense up as I finish up this part of the examination. It's probably going to be uncomfortable and it may hurt, but the faster I can get this over, the sooner I can get your lacerations stitched up and then move you to a room."

Throwing a sheet over JJ's knees, the doctor turned on the exam light and began her collection.  
****

Stepping into the living room, Will looked around at the mess and the forensic team that still occupied the area. As he drank in the crime scene, it became more evident that he needed to leave

"Excuse me sir, but you can't be here," an FBI agent commented. "This is a restricted area."

"I live here," Will replied and reached for his ID. "Will La Montange."

"He's with me," Morgan spoke up from behind. "He's come to get some items so he can stay at a motel tonight."

"Yes Agent Morgan."

"Is Agent Prentiss still here?"

"She's in the back room with the little boy."

"Thank you." Walking behind Will, Morgan kept an eye out for anything out of place. As they approached Henry's room, he saw Prentiss sitting on the side of the bed keeping guard over the little boy who was sleeping soundly.

"How is he?" Will asked. Looking at the little boy sleeping deeply, his chest rising and falling.

"He's fine. I read him a story and he fell asleep a little while ago," Prentiss whispered, her meaning clear in her tone.

Will wanted so badly to reached out and touch his son, but he couldn't. He didn't dare. What he was about to do was going to hurt bad enough without adding to the pain.

"Once Penelope gets done at the hospital, she's coming by to pick him up so he can stay with her and Kevin. Since this is a crime scene, we feel that it's best to move Henry to a secure location. We will be posting agents outside Penelope's apartment."

It didn't escape Will that Prentiss had left him out of the equation. "I understand. I wouldn't want them to stay here either while that scumbag is still out there." He looked at JJ's friends who were also her family. "I'm going to gather my stuff."

"Do you need some help?" Morgan asked, but he didn't make a step forward.

"I can do it." Will left the room.

The door closed next door. Morgan looked at Prentiss. "You heard?"

"Garcia called me on the way to the hospital." She pulled the blanket higher on Henry. "I can't believe he had the nerve to come back here."

"He has to get Henry and some items. I'm keeping an eye on him, don't worry." Morgan closed the bedroom door, but he still kept his voice low.

"I'm not. How is JJ?"

"Rossi was in there until they performed the rape kit. He sent Pen in to be with her."

"Was Will there?"

"Yeah he was. Rossi had his say about Will not being here for JJ."

"I'm surprised Will can still walk." Prentiss got up and gathered some stuffed animals and put them in a small book bag.

"Strauss arrived on the scene. No matter what animosity there might be between her and Rossi, it's nothing compared to what she has for Will. I thought she was going to kill him."

"Do you think he's going to stay with JJ?"

Morgan sighed. "Honestly, from what Garcia told me, I don't think so. He's been cheating on JJ for a while now. I wouldn't be surprised if he was gone before she gets discharged from the hospital."

Shoving some items in suitcase, Will looked around the master bedroom he had shared with JJ. So many memories together- some good, others not so good. At least Henry was the best memory between them. He couldn't be prouder of that little boy.

But tonight had hit home that anything he felt for JJ was over. It wasn't her fault that she was attacked. It was his…and the fucking FBI. He should have been home with her. He should have protected her, but he wasn't. He had gone out with their friends and then decided to go home with a woman he had picked up at the bar. All the while JJ was being violated and assaulted in their home.

He could never forgive himself for not being there when she needed him.

But it was also the fault of the FBI. They always had JJ at their beck and call. Every time he tried to schedule time alone with her, they kept her out of town or at work for some bullshit assignment always requested at the last minute. If they hadn't needed a report due tonight, she would have been out with him. All of this could have been avoided if JJ had just said no.

He had just blamed JJ.

Grabbing a notepad and pen, he sat down on the edge of the mattress and started writing. Furiously he scribbled down his thoughts and reasons for what he was about to do. He didn't try to make it sound pretty, because no matter how he looked at it, it was a pathetic excuse for running away. But he couldn't stay.

Signing his name, he set the pad on the bed. Zipping the suitcase closed, he looked around for anything he might be leaving behind. Nothing was left. It was time to leave.

Opening the door, he saw that Henry's door was closed. Probably just as well; it was going to hurt enough to walk out the door without Morgan threatening to shoot him.

Quietly and with purpose, Will moved down the hall to the living room. Looking around at the place he once called home, he squared his shoulders and then walked out the door.


	8. Chapter 8

_Sorry for the long wait between posts. Life, writing, holidays, and beta work have been pulling me in a lot of directions. Plus there are tons of other things going on at the same time. I know that some readers may be discouraged by my erratic posts, but seriously, I am only one person doing this plus trying to balance other things too. I know that a lot of other writers are in my shoes. My hat is off to them for being able to balance it all and do it extraordinarily well._

_This chapter is dedicated to them and to all who are still faithfully reading._

**Believe Again**

Penelope sat beside JJ's hospital bed and watched her best friend, the mother of the darling godson, sleep. Tightening her grip around the pale woman's hand, she tried not to think about what had transpired in the past few hours.

What was supposed to be a quiet weekend had been disturbed by a sick freak of a criminal. And now everything that had been right and beautiful was now wrong and ugly and no troll doll in her collection was going to bring back the innocence.

Reaching over, she brushed a lock of hair away from JJ's forehead and sighed. The exam had taken forever…or at least it had seemed like it. But she had remained brave, trying to give her friend strength and support. Near the end, JJ had started crying and the doctor had given her a mild sedative to relax her before transferring to a room.

It had been over an hour since they arrived back and nearly three since Will had showed his face. Anger flared thru her as she remembered with wicked satisfaction how David Rossi had slammed that arrogant, philandering son of a bitch against the wall. It had almost hurt her feelings to have walked out of the exam room to find no blood on the floor and Will was still alive.

But Erin Strauss was there. The dictator of the BAU was quietly waiting for any word on her agent. For the first time since she could remember, Pen listened as Strauss asked with genuine concern about JJ and what had happened. In a shaky voice, she had relayed what she heard over the phone and all that transpired between getting the call and the team arriving.

With a slight nod, Strauss commented that Pen had gone beyond the call of duty. Thanking her, the director went on to say that she expected the full report - along with a copy of the recording - on her desk first thing in the morning. Pen nodded and said she would but first she was going to be with her friend. Spinning on her heel, she walked down the hallway to where JJ had been taken.

Had that been a tear in the Director's eye?

Shaking her head, she tried not to think about it. It had been a hell of a night and everyone's emotions were on edge. It wouldn't be unheard of for the Ice Queen to feel something…after all, it had been JJ who was involved. And if there was anyone who had a more loyal following than Hotch, it was Jennifer Jareau.

But now they were going to have to worry about taking care of this and find the son of a bastard who dared to hurt her buttercup. If she had to make deals with the underground vile elements to track this guy and make him pay, no cost was too high. No web site nor database was going to be safe from her expertise as she uncovered all she could.

He had done this before - she would bet her entire computer collection on it - so there was a trail. And if anyone could sniff it out, she'd be the one.

"Don't you worry, Jayje, we are going to find him and when we're done with him, he's going to make a wish that he had never knocked on your door," Pen promised.

A soft sigh was JJ's only response.

"I love you. And I'm going to make sure that all of this is nothing but a distant memory for you and Henry."

Entwining her fingers with the sleeping woman's, Pen pressed her lips to their hands.  
***

Sitting in the waiting room for any news, Hotch, Dave, and Erin sat quietly. It had been an hour since JJ had been transferred to a room. Each had wanted to be with their colleague, but for the moment there was nothing they could do and since Pen had developed a rapport with JJ, they decided to let her stay while they waited for the doctor.

Glancing at his watch, Rossi stood up and paced the floor. He was restless. He hated waiting and he hated hospitals. He wanted to find the bastard who had done this; for God's sake, he was an officer of the law and he had a job to do.

"Agent Rossi, please sit down," Erin suggested. Her hair which had been neatly coiffed was now a messy rat's nest. She had long taken it down but after numerous times of running her fingers thru it, the locks went every way.

"I'd rather stand," Dave replied.

"Well, you're making me nervous," she replied.

"I'm making _you_ nervous?" he asked incredulously. "I walked into a room to find my friend and partner brutally raped and assaulted. If anyone should be nervous, it should be that scumbag who did that to her."

"All I'm saying is that…"

Dave turned to level a dark gaze at her. "You have no say in this, Erin. This is between me and…"

"I am still the BAU Director and Agent Jareau is my subordinate, and I will not stand here and listen to you making threats."

"That wasn't a 'threat', Erin; that was a promise."

"I am your _supervisor_." Erin straightened to her full height, her eyes locking with his. "And I am still in charge no matter what kind of revenge your mind is set on. Until we get the full police report, I am asking you to stand down. Is that understood?"

"Erin -" Dave challenged, his fist clenched in unspoken rage.

"I will not hesitate to put your renegade ass on suspended leave until this is over," she threatened in a tone that Dave knew better than to argue with. "Sit down. Now!"

Dave glared but did as he was told. Hotch sat and watched the scene unfold. The whole night had be surreal and this moment was no different.

"Now what?" Dave asked, his eyes snapping with anger at Erin and everyone involved.

"You tell me exactly what happened."

"I was in Hotch's office discussing personal business when my phone rang. Penelope Garcia was on the other end. Apparently she had been talking to Agent Jareau when a struggle came over the phone line. She patched Hotch and me thru."

"Did she say where the struggle was taking place?" Erin asked calmly.

"At JJ's brownstone. Somehow she managed to get Agents Prentiss and Morgan on the line, too."

"How far away were they during this call?"

Dave thought for a moment. "About twenty minutes."

"You and Agent Hotchner were closer?"

"No. I just drove faster. When I arrived at the brownstone, I noticed the door open to Agent Jareau's apartment. I entered, but the UNSUB had made his escape. I called it in to Garcia. I found Agent Jareau on the floor. She had been assaulted. Shortly afterward, Agents Hotchner, Prentiss, and Morgan arrived on the scene. They dealt with the local LEOs while I accompanied the EMS here," Dave continued.

"Did Agent Jareau make any comments about what the UNSUB looked like or how he was dressed?" Erin asked.

"No. She was too traumatized to give anything more than the basics. I tried to talk to her, but she refused to answer."

Erin thought it over. "I am going to want this in a report on my desk first thing." She nodded toward the cast on his hand. "Then again, I can wait until noon. You do realize that she will have to be questioned as soon as she wakes up?"

"Who is going to do it?" Hotch asked warily.

"Local law enforcement wants to, but since it was a federal agent, I am going to allow Agent Morgan to conduct the interview."

"Agent Morgan is not an interrogator," Dave protested angrily.

"He was a police officer."

"He was a demolitions expert," Dave corrected. "He has never conducted an interview on this level. Let me."

"No."

"Why not? I'm an interrogator and I can do this."

"You're too involved."

Dave eyebrow shot up in mock surprise. "No shit, Erin! We're all involved!"

"I have made my decision. But… I will consider you should things not go well. I will be bringing in a sketch artist to get a description of the…uh…"

"Fucking asshole who did this?" Dave finished.

"Thank you. I was searching for something else, but that will do."

"It's appropriate."

"That will do, David." She let out a heavy breath and buried her face in her hands. She needed coffee. "Do me a favour, get me a coffee," she directed toward Dave.

"I am not your secretary," he balked.

"Maybe not, but I am still your boss. Now do as I asked. Now. If you know what's good for you."

"This isn't over."

"This is a meeting between department heads. That title no longer is yours. Now leave before I throw you out."

Dave glared at her and Hotch, then left the waiting room. Maybe she was right, the fresh air and change of scenery might help his mood. Or maybe not.

"What he told me," Erin directed toward Hotch, "was that correct?"

Hotch nodded. "Yes. Agent Morgan told Garcia to record everything. So it's all on tape."

"I know. Rossi's out for blood," she stated. Hotch nodded. "I want you to watch him. He's going to try and be a cowboy and I won't have him tarnishing the reputation of the FBI to satisfy his thirst for revenge."

"Director…"

"Do I make myself clear?" Erin stated in a 'don't fuck with me' tone.

"Yes, Director. How do you propose I fulfill your request?" Hotch leveled back at her.

"Don't let him out of your sight."

Footstep approached the room. Standing up to meet the person entering, Erin steeled her spine for the latest news on her agent. Turning the corner, it was Morgan who entered.

"Agent Morgan, what's wrong?" Hotch asked.

"Hotch, we have a problem." Morgan's voice was low.

"How bad?"

Morgan shook his head. "It's not good." He pulled the folded up paper from his jacket pocket. "While Prentiss and I were getting Henry ready to go with Will…we found this." Handing the paper over, he waited.

Hotch scanned the note twice.

"What is it?" Erin asked and took the sheet from his hands. Glancing at the words, she felt her anger rise. "Agent Hotchner?"

"Director?" he answered.

"I think you better go find Agent Rossi and handcuff him before bringing him back here. Agent Morgan, go to Agent Jareau's room and stay there. Is that understood?" she asked. Morgan nodded and left.

Running a hand over her face, Erin tried to get her emotions in check but found herself slowly losing control. If it was possible, things had gone from bad to worse to give me a fucking break.


	9. Chapter 9

_Sorry about the loooooong delay for posting this chapter. So many things have been happening and to be honest, my ADD has been on overdrive. I promise to make this story a once a week posting…because if I don't, I know that Tracia will hunt me down and beat me with her beloved keyboard!_

_And for the record, if you thought you hated Will before, you are going to want to throttle him after this chapter!_

**Believe Again**

Of all the things he had been reduced to in his life, being Erin Strauss's "gopher" was the one thing he never expected to be. But there he stood in a long line in the basement cafeteria, patiently waiting his turn while she plotted further ways to humiliate him.

"Two can play this game, Erin," Dave groused under his breath. Usually he could wait in a line and not think anything of it, but not this time. Right now his liaison lay battered and bruised and alone - he should be with her…not fetching coffee like some fucking secretary.

Checking his watch for the hundredth time, he was tempted to throw a couple of bills at the cashier and hurry back to the waiting room. _Bet Erin would love to ride your ass for that one!_ His conscience taunted.

Shifting his weight, he switched the boiling hot coffee to his other hand. It would serve her right not to bring the cream and sugar. "Let her drink it black," he muttered.

A couple minutes later, he made his way to the front of the line and paid for his purchase. Stepping out of the room thru the double doors, he rounded the corner to the elevators.

Hotch turned the corner toward the elevators when he caught a figure moving up the passageway. Pausing, he waited to see which direction they would go in. As the person stopped in front of JJ's room, Hotch felt his senses go on high alert.

Rushing over, he reached out and grabbed the stranger. "You can't go in there," he demanded. As the man turned around, his eyes narrowed. "Will. What are you doing here?"

Will held Hotch's steel gaze. "I came by to check on Jennifer."

Neither man blinked as the weight of the words slowly sunk in. Motioning with his hand, Hotch indicated that he wanted Will to follow him. Quickly the pair walked to the empty waiting room. Once inside, Hotch closed the door then turned to the man who was partly responsible for what transpired earlier in the evening.

"Why are you here?" Hotch repeated, leveling a cold, steel-like, stoic gaze at the former detective.

"I need to talk to Jennifer."

"I think you said all you needed to say in that pathetic note you left behind," Hotch reminded tonelessly.

"You had no right to read that!" Will growled.

"I am JJ's boss and I had every right. After everything that she's been thru, how could you hurt her even further? Have you forgotten that she is the mother of your son?"

Will snorted. "That's fine advice coming from a man who walked away from his marriage."

Hotch felt the anger well up. "My marriage has nothing to do with what transpired tonight. You didn't even care to know the welfare of your son when you showed up here the first time. You were supposed to take him to the Navy Lodge, but instead you leave him with Prentiss and Morgan and run away like a thief in the middle of the night. Are you really that selfish?"

"I need to talk to Jennifer." Will's eyes matched his voice - flat and lifeless. Hotch stared at him as if he was profiling an UNSUB.

"No, you don't. That poor woman has been through hell tonight. She's been violated three times…twice by people she doesn't know, and once by someone she thought loved her. If you go in there and deliver your coup de grace, you are going to destroy her. And so help me God, I will not allow you to do that." Hotch's hand hovered near his service weapon.

"Who is going to stop me?" Will asked defiantly, Hotch's action was not missed on the trained detective.

"I will. And if I can't, I'm pretty sure that Agent Morgan - who is in the room right now - will be more than happy to lend a hand," Hotch replied in a monotone. "And should that fail, and you make your way inside, Agent Rossi and Director Strauss would love to tag team."

Will considered Hotch's statement. "I want to say good-bye." He tried to sound sincere, but his words sounded pathetic to the Unit Chief who had interrogated one too many criminals who tried to owe up to their misdeeds only after being caught and cornered with no other means of escape.

"I can't let you do that." Hotch moved to block the doorway. "If you go anywhere near that room, I will have no choice but to arrest you."

"You wouldn't dare!" Will sputtered. "Are you crazy? That's my fiancée in there!" He tried to push Hotch out of the way.

Hotch pushed back. He had killed a man with his bare hands, and no short, little, self centered prick was going to intimidate him. Especially if that prick was about to cause irreparable harm to his friend and fellow agent.

"No, that is a federal agent in that room and Director Strauss has made it clear that any one who isn't family or FBI can't go in there. And from what I remember, a 'fiancée' is not family…in fact it doesn't even hold up in a court of law."

"You son of a bitch! I want to see JJ and I want my son!"

"You will have to come thru me first." Hotch raised an eyebrow and braced himself for an attack. For a long moment, neither man moved or spoke. Finally, Will slowly gave up the fight.

"You know what?" he asked rhetorically. "You can fucking have her. She doesn't care about anything but that damn team she works with…even they come before her son. So, I give her to you. Good riddance."

Will moved toward the door as Hotch moved away. Yanking on the handle, he pulled the door open and stopped short as he came face to face with Dave.

"Well, well, well," Dave taunted sarcastically, "look what we have here." Tempted to pound the man, Dave weighed his options. Looking at Hotch, then back at Will, he paused, then threw the coffee on the Cajun.

"What the fuck did you do that for?" Will yelled as the hot liquid drenched his dress shirt and mildly scalded his skin.

"It beats having to write a report explaining why I broke my other hand beating the shit out of you," Dave replied darkly.

"You know, David," Erin Strauss's voice cut through the heavy silence and anger, "I am going to want another cup of that."

Looking at the blonde, Dave snorted. "Lick it off that piece of trash if you need a caffeine fix that badly, Erin. I've got things to do." Turning on his heel, he walked down to the end of the hallway and turned the corner.

Erin cocked her head. "I will never want coffee that bad. Now get the hell out of here before I take you down myself. You made yourself clear in your letter. If you come anywhere near my agent or her son again, I will shoot you myself. Is that understood, Mr. LaMontange?"

"Yes. Don't tell JJ that I was here."

"Wouldn't dream of it. Good day." Both agents watched as Will make his way to the elevator, stepped on, and the doors closed forever.

"You didn't really want that coffee did you?" Hotch observed.

"I drink tea." Looking at her watch, she did a mental calculation. "Agent Morgan should be finished with his interview; think I'll be with my agent." Turning on her heel, she walked to JJ's room and disappeared inside.

Hotch leaned back against the wall and rested his head against the cool white wall.

And then he prayed. 


	10. Chapter 10

_Another chapter is up. As Morgan questions JJ for any information on her attacker, Hotch and Rossi discuss the impact on the team. _

**Believe Again**

"Do you remember what he looked like?" Morgan asked JJ.

She shook her head. "I don't remember. Tall, I think." Her brain searched through the drug induced fog to pull up anything that could help.

"Tall like me?"

"No. Not that tall," she corrected. "Tall as Hotch."

"Six one." Morgan jotted that fact down. "What about his skin? Clear? Blemished? Bearded? Caucasian?"

"I don't know."

"Come on, Jayje," Morgan encouraged, "try to remember."

JJ shook her head harder. "I don't remember."

"Yes you do. Think really hard."

"I can't," she choked.

"Jayje…"

"My head hurts," she sniffed back the tears. "I just want to sleep."

"What did his skin look like?" Morgan repeated. He reached out and touched JJ's hand. Immediately, she pulled back in terror.

"Don't touch me!" she spat.

"I'm sorry." Morgan went to comfort her and stopped himself. "It was an accident."

"Get out!"

"JJ…"

"Get. Out!" JJ ordered in a voice Morgan had never heard before.

Unsure what to do, he looked around. Suddenly the door opened and Erin walked in.

"Agent Morgan, I need to talk to Agent Jareau."

"I was in the middle of questioning her."

Erin thinned her lips. "I understand. But you are needed elsewhere at the moment."

"The report…" Morgan protested.

"Can wait. We're going to call it a night and start over in the morning." She waited for his response. "That's an order, Agent Morgan."

Closing his notepad, Morgan looked at the blonde silently weeping in the hospital bed. "I'll be back in the morning."

"Report back to me first," Erin directed.

"Yes ma'am." Opening the door, Morgan stepped out and closed it behind him.

The Director slowly stepped over to her injured agent.

"Hello, Jennifer."

"Director Strauss," JJ replied carefully.

"I apologize for Agent Morgan's approach."

"I want to be left alone." It was a simple request JJ hoped would be honoured.

"I can't allow that." Erin pulled up a chair and sat down. "This is a federal case and you've been through a traumatic experience. I cannot allow you to be alone until we complete a full psychological exam."

"I…"

"Not right now," Erin corrected. "You need to rest. Then in the morning I'm going to get Agent Prentiss to conduct the interview."

"What about Henry?"

Erin nodded. "He's fine. He's with Penelope and Kevin."

"Okay." JJ's lower lip trembled. Sniffling back the tears, she looked away.

"What is it?" Erin asked, her voice more gentle than what she had had with her children.

"Will…has anyone heard from Will?"

Erin paused for a moment as she considered making up a lie. Then it dawned on her that JJ wasn't a profiler.

"We called him."

"And what did he say?"

Erin searched for the truth coated lie. "He hasn't called back."

"He won't. Don't hold your breath." JJ lay back against the pillows.

"You need to sleep," Erin ordered. JJ nodded.

Not taking her eyes off the agent, Erin waited until JJ's eyes fluttered closed and her breathing evened out. A part of her relaxed but the other part remained on high alert.  
******

"What are we going to do?" Hotch asked. Two hours of sitting in a plastic chair while inside a room his agent and friend lay injured and there was nothing he could do to change one damn thing.

"We wait for JJ to give up a description…unless the lab comes back with a report stating that this scumbag is in VICAP or CODIS."

"And if he isn't?"

"He is," Dave growled. "Fucking rapists like him don't just strike on a whim. He has a record somewhere and if he isn't in the federal database, I'll bet the MPD knows something."

Hotch ran a hand over his eyes. "The news is going to get wind of this. They are going to be all over this place by morning," Hotch stated.

"I know." Dave absently stroked his fresh cast. "Do you think Garcia will step in?"

Hotch shook his head. "I don't think so. She's going to do everything she can to make sure she gets this guy before the cops do. Maybe we can snag Jordan Todd for a couple of days."

Dave nodded. "We could."

"I'll run it past Strauss in the morning." Hotch stood up. "I'm going to go home and change."

"Where's Jack?"

"At Jessica's. I called her and let her know. For once she didn't condemn me." Hotch gave an ironic smile. "She is going to watch Jack for as long as it takes." He slipped on his coat. "What about you? Are you going to go home?"

"Probably in a few." Dave studied his best friend. "What's wrong?"

"I feel like I failed her tonight." There was regret in Hotch's tone.

"No one is to blame for what happened except the guy who did this. We can't beat ourselves up over something that was out of our hands," Dave comforted.

"I shouldn't have kept her late."

"You always keep her late."

"She had plans."

"So did I. We have a job to do. Sometimes we work late. It's no one's fault."

"She should have been with Will."

"No, she shouldn't have. That son of a bitch…" Dave stopped himself. "We need to focus on what's going to happen next."

"Morgan couldn't get a description."

"You know retrograde amnesia is a possibility when a trauma like this occurs. We'll work on that, but right now get home and get some rest."

Hotch looked sharply at the older agent. "I'm the Unit Chief."

"I still out rank you in time in service," Dave returned.

"Get home and get some rest yourself," Hotch ordered.

"I will. I just have a couple of phone calls to make."

"I'll see you in a few hours."

"Yeah."

Dave waited for the coast to clear before taking out his phone. Hitting two buttons, he waited patiently.

"Kitten, are you still awake? Good. I need a favour from you." He paused. "It's about JJ and Henry."


	11. Chapter 11

_Sorry for the long pause between posts. I guess I have too many fingers in too many pies right now, but that brings little comfort to those looking forward to updates. Hopefully, I will coordinate a schedule that can benefit me and my readers. _

_Thanks to all who have read and reviewed. It really means a lot to me._

**Believe Again**

Pen sat by the bedside and held her angel's hand. It had been over a day since the attack and JJ was resting. The questioning she had been through had yielded little results in the data base but there was still a chance they would catch the creep who had done this. Then again, it was possible the case could grow cold. No closure.

She shouldn't be afraid, but there was a part of her that worried her friend would never wake up again or if and when she did, things would never be the same with her again. She wanted to see that beautiful smile and hear that laugh. She wanted to see those blue eyes dance with mischief and delight and sparkle with love for Henry.

Grasping the small white hand, Pen tried massaging it.

"Oh, Angel," Pen whispered softly, "of all the people in the world, why did this happen to you?" Brushing the tears away with the back of her hand, Pen tried to concentrate on JJ's eyes. It was for sure JJ was going to have a helluva shiner by tomorrow, but she wouldn't think about it.

"If you can hear me, make a noise. Groan or squeeze my hand; I don't care."

JJ remained motionless.

"I guess I should tell you that Will left. Derek and Emily were packing Henry up to go to the Navy Lodge, when Will made his great escape. He left some pathetic excuse in a note. I didn't really read it. I don't have to."

The anger Pen tried to suppress only made the tears fall faster. Holding JJ's hand tighter, she tried to will her strength over.

"You are better off without him. I know you loved him because he is Henry's father, but he was wrong for you. You deserve better. You will have better."

Slowly the sun rose in the horizon to cast a faint yellow glow in the sterile white room.

"I don't know if I should tell you this, but Agent Hard Ass asked me to do a favour for him. You and Henry are going to be living with him until you get back on your feet." Pen paused and snorted. "You should have seen Strauss's face when he told her. She started on something about FBI Fraternization Regs when he told her to can it."

Pen smiled.

"I've seen the room he is giving you in that house of his. You are going to love it. The backyard is big enough for Henry to play with Mudgie and you can recover. You _are_ going to recover from this and be stronger. Believe me," she corrected.

Pen blew her nose.

"I never told anyone this, but I…I know what you are going thru. I know I don't talk about my life growing up, and most of my time spent off the grid is not known…only the part where I got caught and was forced to make a decision - FBI or prison - is out there. But the part between my parents' death and the job offer is between me and my memories."

Pen grabbed a couple of Kleenex and blew her nose.

"My brothers and I had a huge fight right after the memorial service for our parents. They wanted to sell the house and have me move in with my dad's sister in Pennsylvania. I said no. I wanted to keep the house. We all owned twenty percent and if one of us wanted to sell, the others had to buy out his percentage.

"It came down to three against two. My younger brother Mike wanted to keep the house in the family and supported that it would be like a vacation house for us to share. Plus, with me and him going to school, it would give us a place to stay instead of on campus. Joe was in the military and stationed overseas, Carlos had a wife and a newborn, and Guillermo couldn't care less about the house.; he just wanted the money."

Pen took in a shuddered breath.

"Any way, they cited me and Mike as minors, and took our shares. We were paid, of course, and the house was sold. I got some money, but I didn't care. All I knew was that my last link to the two people I loved more than anything was gone. I told my brothers what I thought and left. I took Esther and my bank account and ran away.

"I drove far away so they would never find me and got lost in the crowd. I tried to fit in with some friends I met at a coffee stand and we found a place to stay and everything was going good. Until one night…" The memory threatened to overwhelm Pen.

"It took me a long time to recover. I had no friends or family to lean on. So, I went completely underground and taught myself code. I think I spent more than one night sleeping in the basement of more than a few libraries all over the country. Once I learned how to hack into systems and files - well, the world was my oyster. Until I got caught."

The warm sunshine fell upon her face to make the tears on her cheeks glisten.

"I pushed people away by dressing outrageously and acting unlike what a tech analyst should. But then I found you guys. You are the family I never had. Then you gave me Henry. There is nothing I wouldn't do for him or you. I am going back to the office and I am going to track down every lead and sex crime in a hundred mile radius and when I find this…this…" Pen struggled to find a word. "Pathetic low-life excuse of a human," she finished. "And when I do…I think I finally believe in guns."

Watching JJ's face, Pen noticed her REM. Her heart beat fast and excitedly.

"Buttercup, are you awake?" Pen asked hopefully.

"Pen?" JJ groaned. Every single inch of her body hurt. Blinking quickly, she tried to focus on her best friend. As her vision cleared, she looked around the room. Slowly the events of the night before replayed in her mind.

"Where is Henry?" JJ cried out and tried to sit up. Gasping from pain, she lay back against the pillows. "Where is Henry?" she repeated.

"Oh Jayje! You're awake! I'll go tell Hotch!" Pen said and turned to leave. JJ grasped her hand.

"Don't go. Where is Henry? Is he safe?"

"He's with Haley's sister…Jessica. You remember her?" Pen asked. JJ nodded. "I call to see how he was doing. He thinks you went on a bye-bye trip with Unca Spence." Pen tried to smile.

"What about…?"

"We'll take about that later. Right now, I have to get the team."

"How long?" JJ asked slowly. Her mind was still fuzzy from whatever they were pumping thru the IV in her arm.

"Almost two days. Doctor said you have a couple of broken ribs and you need to stay another day or so."

"Rossi and Hotch?"

"They are back at the BAU trying to find the…UNSUB who did this to you."

JJ looked at Pen with blank eyes.

"Don't leave me."

"I won't. But let me go get the doctor and call the team, okay?" Pen asked carefully. JJ nodded.

"Okay."

"I'll be back in one minute."

"Okay."

Pen hurried out of the room to complete her task and keep her promise.


	12. Chapter 12

Special thanks to ilovetvalot who threatened to kick my ass if I didn't update this story ASAP!

**Believe Again**

Aaron Hotchner poured a cup of coffee and tried to blink himself back into consciousness. Two days after JJ was attacked and the team was no closer to finding a lead. The data base was on high alert and the police were out in full force - albeit under the radar. It wouldn't serve the public good to advertise that there was a rapist roaming the streets. Nor would it serve any good to have it known that an FBI had been a victim.

He ran a hand over his face. Coffee was a poor substitute for a good night's sleep. But he had survived on less and done more…although the more had never included a fellow agent. Not like this. Elle had been different.

JJ was not Elle.

A knock on the door broke thru his thoughts. "Come in."

"I smelled the coffee," Dave greeted as he walked in. "Care to share?"

"It's plain," Hotch replied.

"I can handle it plain. A booster would not help anything right now." Dave poured the strong black brew into his coffee cup. He sipped carefully. "I was wrong. What is in this?"

"Folger's Dark Roast….I think."

"You don't know?" Dave sipped again.

"I found it in the bottom of the desk drawer. I think Haley gave it to me a few years back - along with the pot."

"Is it too late to change my mind about the boost?"

"We're on the clock," Hotch observed.

"Any word on the DNA?" Dave asked.

"CODIS is running it right now."

"I don't think this is the first time he's done this," Dave remarked and took another sip.

"You've done a profile already? Want to let me in?"

"It's not a profile, but this guy did not wake up two days ago and say to himself 'Gee, I think I'll break into some unknown woman's home and brutally beat and rape her senseless'. This guy has an MO."

"Which is…?" Hotch prompted.

"I don't think he planned on us getting there."

"You think he planned on killing JJ?"

"I have no doubt that he would have if we had been a minute later than we were." Dave flexed his fingers in his cast. He tried not to let his anger get the better of him but that was JJ lying in a hospital room battered and beaten and…. He tried to wipe away the vision from the night before.

"So there is a pattern and now we know where to look. We need to pull up all the rapes in the DC metro area over the past two years."

"Garcia is still at the hospital, isn't she?" Dave asked.

Hotch picked up the phone on his desk and dialed quickly. "This is Agent Hotchner. I need to borrow Kevin Lynch. Yes, send him down right away." Hanging up, he turned to his friend. "We should be able to get a hit in no time."

Dave raised an eyebrow. "You are going to permit Lynch into Garcia's lair after what happened last time?" He shook his head. "I guess you don't fear your credit score."

"I will lay the law down that nothing is to be touched this time," Hotch assured. "Strauss is going to want your report."

"I'm not ready to give it. The case is still open."

"I'm talking about what transpired in the hallway at the hospital."

"Oh, you mean how I confused a cinder block wall for Will LaMontagne's face? I think that's pretty self explanatory and doesn't need a report. I missed," Dave replied with just a twinge of anger and regret.

"I don't think she can put that on the accident report."

"I paid for everything. There is no report, Aaron. Strauss is just trying to cover her ass."

"Do you blame her?"

"She needs to worry about seeing what she can do to get more agents on the case and involving Metro instead of my assaulting a wall," Dave retorted. "I broke my hand. The wall survived. And Will walked away from everything fresh and brand fucking new without a fucking care in the world. End of story."

Hotch eyed the man carefully. "I think you're too close."

Dave flicked his gaze up. "What do you mean?" He leaned over and placed his coffee cup on the desk.

"I think you're too involved."

"Of course I'm 'involved'! One of my team is lying in the hospital after being violently attacked."

"But you're making it personal. For Christ's sake, Dave, you're moving her into your house."

Dave stood up. "Damn right I'm making this fucking personal! That piece of shit hurt JJ! He raped her, beat her and then tried to kill her while her son lay ten feet away! I'm going to make this fucking personal and I'm going to catch him and when I do…." Dave caught his breath. "And we both know the reason behind my moving JJ. And for the record, I have it approved."

"Dave, I'm not allowing you to remain on this case as long as you have an agenda."

"An agenda? Do you mean 'revenge'? You mean like how you didn't have an agenda with Foyet? Or was that revenge?" Dave shot out.

Hotch's face hardened. "That was low….even for you, Dave."

"Sometimes the lowest blow contains the biggest amount of truth." Dave stepped closer to his friend. "You know as well as I do, that we are all running on emotion at this point. But none of us are going to do anything to jeopardize our jobs or our safety but there is a rapist out there and he's going to strike again. If its revenge that helps me keep him from hurting another woman, then I'll agree."

"Dave…."

"Hotch, I finally know where you are coming from. And yes, maybe you're right that I'm too caught up in this and making it too personal. But that's what drives me." Dave paused. "I suspect it drives you too."

Hotch stared at his friend unblinking. "What do you have planned?"

"I want to interrogate JJ when she wakes up."

"I can't allow that."

"Do you want to do it?" Dave challenged. "Do you think you can do it?"

"Morgan…."

"Can't. There is no way. He's not an interrogator. He's a cop and a profiler. He makes things too personal for his own good. And there's no way in hell that Reid could even begin to have JJ open up. His psyche is not strong enough to venture into that abyss. We could lose another agent."

"Garcia…."

"She's not an interrogator…hell, she's not even full-fledged FBI agent. You think I make things personal? I'm sure that if you looked up the word, Penelope Garcia would be the first thing listed. She sat thru the rape kit; damn if I put her thru questioning the mother of her godson."

"That leaves you and Prentiss. And I suspect that it's going to be you to take charge."

"And that is a bad thing?" Dave asked incredulously.

"Like I said, it's too personal."

"Do you _think_ I _want _to do this?" Dave retorted. "Do you _think_ I'm living for the moment I have to walk into JJ's room and make her relive that night?"

"I'm just stating that you…maybe we should get another agent to do this."

"She trusts me, Hotch. She asked me to cover her up before the team arrived. She asked me to go with her to the hospital. She won't open up for anyone else. I'm your last resort. Unless _you_ want the honours."

The phone ringing interrupted Hotch's response. Hotch grabbed the receiver and barked into it.

"She is? Keep her calm and I'll send Morgan down. Thanks Garcia," Hotch said and hung up. "JJ's awake."

"I'm on my way." Dave headed for the door.

"You're not going!"

"Fucking stop me, Aaron!"

Morgan stepped into the room.

"I hate to break this up, but Strauss needs to see you, Hotch. Hey!" he said as Dave pushed past him. "What's wrong with him?"

"JJ's awake."

"Do you want me to go?" the agent asked.

"You're going with Dave. You are going to be his shadow. Anything he does, comes back and down on you. Is that understood, Agent Morgan?"

"Yes sir."

"Go catch him before he does something worse than trying to take a wall down with his bare hands."

Morgan followed Dave.


	13. Chapter 13

_Every time I think I might be getting back to that place where I think I might be able to continue on with this story, somebody has to put their two cents in and "explain" to me what is happening. I'm going to say my bit now and leave it here: I don't believe that 15 year olds have the life experience to give "constructive criticism"...they think they're immortal and the world revolves around them! And I know for a FACT that I'm not the only person on fanfic who's been "criticized" by that person! If I want some "advice/constructive criticism" from the teenager peanut gallery, I'll get it from my nieces and nephews. And considering what is happening in my life right now, the 15 year old and the defender(s) should thank their lucky stars I'm letting this pass._

_And that is all I have to say about that._

**Believe Again**

Erin Strauss bit her tongue as she listened to the voice on the other end of the phone. She had been transferred and put on hold too many times to count and she was about at the end of her rope. Bureaucracy and red tape didn't just happen at the government level - it seemed that it was rampant at the local level, too.

"Yes," she bit out, "I'll hold."

Impatiently, she tapped her manicured nail on the desk top as she listened to the muzak on the other end of the line. Two days she had been up with only a short cat nap here and there. But how could she sleep when her agent was lying in the hospital? Someone was responsible for Jennifer Jareau's assault, and if she had to torture people to get her answers…well, God help them.

"Director Strauss?" a voice asked suddenly.

Snapping out of her reverie, Erin sat up straighter. "Yes?"

"Commissioner Brickman is in a meeting. I can take a message," the woman on the other end asked innocently.

"I'll wait," Erin replied shortly.

"He might be a while."

"I'll wait," Erin repeated.

"I…"

"What part of that statement did you not understand?" Came the clipped retort.

"Uh…."

"Will he be out of the meeting before noon?" Erin inquired.

"I believe so." The woman hesitated with her answer.

"Does he have any other meetings today?"

"He has a meeting…."

"Clear them! Tell him that Director Strauss of the BAU and Director Petersen of the FBI will be in his office in one hour."

"Ma'am…."

Erin's face hardened. "Did you hear what I said?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Erin didn't bother to reply as she slammed the phone down. Picking up the receiver, she dialed quickly. "Tom? It's Erin. We leave in ten minutes….no, I didn't make an appointment; he's in a meeting. We'll surprise him….no, I haven't gotten anything back from the lab. Penelope Garcia should be sending me the report ASAP. Yes, you'll get your copy." A knock on the door interrupted her. "I'll meet you down by the car."

Hanging up the receiver, Erin stood up. "Come in."

The door opened and Aaron Hotchner stepped inside. "Director Strauss," he greeted.

"Agent Hotchner. Tell me you have a profile on Jennifer….on Agent Jareau's attacker," she amended quickly.

"We have a 'preliminary profile'," Hotch replied.

"What the hell is a 'preliminary profile'?" Erin snapped.

"The interview that Morgan conducted didn't give us enough information, and CODIS is still running the DNA for a match. Agent Rossi believes that whoever did this had planned it in advance."

"The attack wasn't spontaneous?" Erin asked.

Hotch shook his head. "We don't believe so. He's done this before."

"Where?"

"I don't know. Hopefully, when CODIS comes back, we'll have our answers. But if Agent Rossi's theory is correct, he's escalating his attacks."

"The beating and the rape….?" Strauss hesitated asking for fear of the answer.

"Were just the beginning," Hotch concluded. "We believe that he was going to kill JJ and Henry….and would have if we had been a minute later," His eyes met and held with Erin's.

There was no response for that information, so she changed the subject. "Director Petersen and I are leaving for Metro PD in fifteen with a meeting with the Commissioner; hopefully we will be able to get some answers and more information about this guy."

Erin stood up and closed the file on her desk. "If there is a serial rapist in the Metro area, they should be able to tell us."

"You know as well as I do, Director, that local LEOs don't like to share information with Feds," Hotch reminded her.

"This is a federal case now!"

"Actually, unless we know for sure that he _is_ a serial rapist on the loose - and he's the same guy - the only case that is federal is the one against JJ."

"I know." Erin let out a heavy sigh. "Any word on Agent Jareau?"

"She's awake…in a lot of pain still, but she's conscious."

"That's good. Maybe she can give a better statement about the guy." Erin opened the desk drawer and pulled out her purse. "I want you to go down to the hospital and question her."

"Agent Rossi is on his way," Hotch admitted reluctantly.

"He's what?" Erin blasted.

"He wanted to head down there and question her before they gave her meds. I felt that it was a good time."

"Are you crazy? How could you let him go back there after the fiasco from the other night?" Erin didn't try to hide her temper.

"Because he's the best interrogator in the FBI and unless our UNSUB is popping Geritol, chances are he has no resemblance that could frighten JJ or hinder her recollection," Hotch returned evenly. "Plus, she's comfortable with him."

"How comfortable?" Erin inquired, her eyes narrowed.

"She asked him to ride with her in the ambulance and she wanted him to stay in the exam room before the rape kit," Hotch admitted.

"Are they….?"

"No ma'am." Hotch paused. "At least to the best of my knowledge they aren't."

"I thought you had a better handle on your team, Agent Hotchner."

"Right now, Director, I don't think that matters unless it goes to court. Maybe we'll get lucky and he'll cop a plea deal."

"For the sake of your agents' reputations, we better hope." Erin looked at her watch. "It's time for me to leave. I would suggest, Agent Hotchner, you head over to the hospital. I don't want Agent Rossi left alone." She shoved the purse strap higher on her shoulder. "God knows I don't think I can bullshit my way out of another accident report on him in a 48 hour period."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Please tell Penelope Garcia that she's going to be needed here."

"I will." Hotch gave a slight nod and left the room.

Running a hand over her forehead, Erin took a deep breath and blinked quickly to hold back the tears. She needed lots of coffee. And a vacation.  
*****

Dave knocked lightly on the door. Cautiously, he opened the door and poked his head inside.

"Kitten?" he called out.

Pen stood up quickly. "Agent Rossi. What are you doing here?"

"You called and said that JJ was awake; I've come to ask her a couple of questions."

The memory of when Dave Rossi interrogated her flashed quickly, and Pen shook her head slowly. "No." Quickly she shoved him out the door and into the hallway. She pulled the door closed behind her.

"What the hell?" Dave yelped. "What are you doing?" he asked, a bit of temper laced his tone.

"You, of all people, are not going in there to question my buttercup!" Pen stated and crossed her arms over her chest in defiance.

"I'm sorry?" Dave appeared flummoxed by Pen's sudden outburst. He took in her defiant stance.

"I won't allow it." Moving quickly, the petite blonde placed herself between Dave's broad frame and JJ's hospital room.

"Kitten, I have to." Dave started to move her out of the way.

"Get your hands off of me, buster. Unless you want twin casts," Pen ordered in a low tone.

Dave's hands dropped to his side. "What is the matter with you, Garcia? I have to ask her about the attack."

"No you don't. I won't have you traumatizing her. Morgan…did his best, but she's not up for questioning."

"It's procedure."

"It's a grilling! You are going to browbeat her until she breaks!" Pen stated angrily. "Don't you think she's already been through enough? What's next? Water boarding?"

Dave suddenly realized the meaning behind Pen's statement. "This is about what I did to you. I understand. And I'm sorry for what happened." His voice softened and hoped it helped ease the pain of what had transpired between them long ago.

Pen blinked back the tears that clouded her vision and clogged her voice. "You hurt me and you frightened me; I won't have you do that to her."

"I…won't do that. I learned my lesson with you. I just need to find out what she knows so we can catch this guy before he strikes again."

"What do you mean 'before he strikes again'?" Pen asked slowly.

"Hotch and I did a preliminary profile and this guy is bad. He has done this before. And now he's upped his MO. We think that he meant to kill JJ."

"Seriously?" Pen's eyes widened as the tears fell fast and hot.

"And Henry, too. We have to stop him. And JJ knows something that can help us find him." Dave looked at the door and then at the blonde tigress. "I'll be gentle with her."

"If you aren't…"

"You can shoot me," Dave offered.

"I'll do worse; I'll wipe out your bank accounts and make sizable donations to your three ex-wives' favourite charities."

"You know how to keep a guy in line, Kitten." Dave leaned down and kissed her forehead gently. "Did you get the arrangements done?"

"The police said that the area is still a crime scene and can't be touched, so I had Kevin bring my laptop by and placed on line orders for the things Jayje and Henry are going to need."

"You used the card I gave you?"

"I think I maxed it out," Pen admitted with a grimace.

"I have another. May I enter now?" Dave asked softly.

Pen stepped aside. "Be gentle with her."

"I will."

Dave pushed the door open and stepped inside the sterile white room.


	14. Chapter 14

_**This is a Henry chapter.**_

**Believe Again**

Sunlight streamed thru the laced curtained window and landed on the bed near the far wall. Outside, a single bird chirped on a tree branch. Under the covers, a lone figure stretched in his sleep. Slowly, he came awake. With a slight whimper, a blonde head poked out from beneath the blanket.

Henry rolled over and rubbed his eyes. Something was wrong, but he couldn't put his finger on it. As his eyes scanned the room, he realized that it wasn't his. Fear filled his tummy, but he wasn't going to cry. He just needed to find his mommy and she would make everything okay.

Grabbing his teddy bear, Henry slid off the bed and ambled out into the hallway. The unfamiliar surroundings increased the nervous feeling. Pausing, he listened for his mom. The clanking of pots and pans downstairs drew him in.

Excited, Henry ran down the flight of stairs toward the noise. The padding of his footed pajamas made a soft noise on the wood floor. Clutching his bear tighter, Henry pushed the swinging door open.

"Mommy!" he called out as he saw the figure bent over the dishwasher. As the person straightened up, the shock of blonde hair caught the little boy's attention. "Mommy!" Henry rushed forward to embrace the woman.

The woman turned around. "Henry?" her tone was deep and full of surprise.

Henry pulled up short. The blonde woman wasn't his mommy. The excitement he felt earlier was suddenly replaced by fear.

"Who are you?" Henry asked in a little voice, his lower lip trembling. "Where's Mommy?"

Jessica straightened up and smiled softly at the little boy she had been asked to take care of while Aaron and the team did what they needed to catch the bastard who had hurt JJ. But Henry didn't need to know that.

Her conversation with Hotch the day before played in her mind.

"_What am I supposed to do with a toddler?" Jessica asked. She slapped the dishrag in the kitchen sink and spun around to face Hotch._

"_Take care of him, Jess. At least until we catch this guy," Hotch replied. His eyes were sad, but there was a fire lurking below the surface._

"_What am I supposed to say to him when he asks for his mother?" Jessica looked at the little blonde boy playing in the yard with her two children and with Jack. Though the children had no idea what had happened, they sensed something was wrong and took care to include Henry in their group._

"_Tell him that she's on a case," Hotch said. _

"_So, lie to him?" Jessica's anger flared. "That little boy is going to be asking for his mother, Aaron!"_

"_I know."_

"_He's going to want to see her! What am I supposed to say?" Jessica demanded._

"_He's three, Jess, I'm sure you can think of something. But I'm not going to argue about this right now; we have to find the guy who did this." Hotch moved to leave._

_Jess threw her arm out to block Hotch's path._

"_Wait! Are you telling me that there is a rapist out in the area roaming free?" she whispered angrily._

"_If I said 'no'?" Hotch hedged._

"_I would remind you that I am not Haley and you can't bullshit me, and two, I'm doing you a favour," she returned. Her eyes snapped with unspoken hatred._

_Hotch paused while he weighed his words carefully. "Yes."_

"_Were you going to tell me? Or were you going to don that untouchable suit of armor and pretend that everything revolves around the FBI? Have you forgotten what happened the last time you decided to shut people out of what was happening in your world?" Jessica rushed on. She was angry and hurt and she hated Aaron so much that it hurt inside. It killed her every time she had to paste that smile on for Jack. He wasn't responsible for what happened to Haley any more than Henry was for JJ._

"_I was…"_

"_I don't know what they taught you in that profiler school, but you're bullshitting sucks! You come into my house after calling me at the last minute to explain that you are dropping Jack off…oh, and Henry is with him too! Then you expect to walk out of the door without so much as a time when you'll be picking them up nor a thank you, Jess."_

"_Could you lower your voice, please?" Hotch asked as his eyes flickered toward the backyard._

"_No. You walked all over my sister and used her until she couldn't take any more, now that she's gone for good, you want to do the same to me! No! Now tell me what is going on!" Jess crossed her arms over her breasts._

_Hotch ran a hand over his weary face. "I haven't slept in two days; I don't want to get into this right now."_

"_If you want me to watch JJ's son, then you will tell me what the hell is going on!" Jessica stated emphatically._

"_There is a rapist in the Georgetown area. Whether he's a serial rapist or this is a one time crime, we don't know. We are checking the databases, but so far, nothing is coming up," Hotch confessed._

"_And the suit outside the front door?" Jess nodded toward the front of the house._

"_For extra protection."_

"_What are you expecting to happen that one person could stop?" she asked evenly, but there was sarcasm in her tone._

"_It's peace of mind."_

"_Where is Henry's father?"_

"_Will? I don't know. He left JJ at the hospital."_

"_Is he behind this?" Jessica wondered aloud. _

"_No. He has a strong alibi corroborated by three witnesses," Hotch confirmed. Was that regret in his tone or fatigue? Jessica couldn't help but wonder._

"_What if he comes looking for his son? How do I stop him?"_

"_He doesn't know where you live. And that is the least of my problems right now. Just make sure that Henry is occupied and that he doesn't know what happened to his mother. Okay?"_

"_How bad is she?" Jess asked low._

"_Jessica…"_

"_Parent to parent…how bad did he hurt her?"_

_The small muscle near Hotch's eye twitched. Whether because he was being pushed to tell the truth, or he was trying hard to conceal something, she didn't know, but whatever it was, she wasn't going to like what she heard._

"_It was bad."_

_Jessica's eyes widened in horror. "How bad?"_

"_They are keeping her for a couple of days, bad. Satisfied?"_

"_Do I have a choice?" she asked rhetorically. "So, what happens until this guy is caught?"_

"_We hunt him down. We find him. And we catch him," Hotch returned in a deadly tone._

_Jessica took a step back. There was something about Hotch's remark that frightened her…yet, it gave her a sense of satisfaction. There was no doubt in her mind that her ex-brother in law would keep his word._

"_I'll keep Henry. But what's going to happen when she gets released and this guy is still out there?" Jessica asked carefully._

_Hotch gave a backwards glance to the playful yelps and cheers coming from the backyard slide and swing set._

"_I promise that he won't be. Call me if you need me," Hotch stated and walked out of the room with purpose._

"Where's my mommy?" Henry repeated as he clutched his glow worm tighter.

Pasting a false smile on her face, Jessica looked at the blonde boy. She took a deep breath.

"She's on a case."

"Is she going to get the evil doer?" Henry asked innocently. His eyes wide with wonderment.

Jessica blinked back the tears. "Yes, Henry, she is."

"Mommy always gets the evil doers."

"Are you hungry?" Jessica asked as she rushed to change the subject.

"Uh huh."

"Go sit down; I'll get you something to eat. Do you like cereal?" she asked from inside the cupboard. She busied herself long enough to swallow the tears.

"Yes."

Jessica set the bowl down and filled it. Taking the seat across from Henry, she watched as he dug into the multi flavored sugared squares and shapes.

"When you're done, do you want to watch 'Cars'?" she asked.

Shoveling a large spoonful of cereal into his mouth, Henry raised his spoon into the air dramatically and then whipped it down fast.

"Zoom!" He gave a wide smile.

That was all the answer Jessica needed.


	15. Chapter 15

_Sorry for the long wait. What with work and other stories and life, I have gotten very distracted. If anyone read my profile, they know what's happened, so I won't tell it again here. _

_Okay, where did we last leave off...? Hotch started to put together a preliminary profile, Strauss was about to crash a meeting, and Pen threatened to exterminate Dave's bank accounts if he hurt JJ during the interrogation he must do. I hope you don't mind that I have broken the inerrogation up into two parts._

**Believe Again**

Dave had to remind himself that it was about catching the UNSUB, but the moment he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, he almost forgot that he was an agent. He had seen dozens of victims in various states over his nearly thirty years of FBI service, but none of them struck him the way JJ did when she turned her head and looked at him.

"Dave," she croaked. "What are you doing here?"

Dave stepped forward closer to the bed. His experience with rape survivors had taught him that personal space was a must. Three feet from the bed, he stopped.

"Hi, Jennifer. Penelope told me that you were awake. How are you feeling?"

"Horrible. Where is Henry?" she asked. "Why won't they let me see my baby?"

"He's safe," Dave assured.

JJ shook her head. "You're lying," she sobbed. "Something has happened and you don't want to tell me."

Dave's face softened as his heart constricted. "He's fine. He's with Hotch's sister in law…Jessica. Remember her?"

"Haley's sister."

"Yes. He's playing with Jack and Jessica's children. I promise you that he's okay."

JJ closed her eyes and nodded sadly. "I want to talk to him."

"We'll call him. But first, I need to talk to you about what happened the other night." Dave fought down the urge to wrap her in his arms and rock away the hurt. But first he had a job to do.

"I told Derek that I don't remember anything."

"I think you do," Dave contradicted. "He questioned you while you were partially sedated and in severe pain. You're clearer now, and I want you to give it another try."

"No, Dave." She shook her head. "I don't remember anything."

"Jen, that guy is out there and he's prowling for another victim. You might have what we need to get him and make sure that he never does this to any woman ever again," Dave argued as he braced himself for the possible fall out.

"It happened so fast. I'm not sure." JJ licked her chapped lips. "May I have some water?" she asked.

Dave moved to the portable table and poured the water into the plastic cup. Unwrapping the straw, he placed it in the water and handed it to her. He watched as she sipped. "Better?" he asked. JJ nodded and handed the cup back.

"I don't want to get personal," he continued. "I just need to find out what you remember. There might be that one piece of evidence that you have filed away that will help us locate the UNSUB."

JJ looked at him with such sadness in her blue eyes that he thought he was going to weep.

"I remember how you questioned Pen…" she began.

"That was different," he interrupted. "The circumstances were different. I need to do this, but I need to know: Do you trust me?"

JJ sniffled and nodded, though it was evident by the way she pulled back that she wasn't entirely sure.

"Good. You're a profiler and you know part of what I'm going to do. I'm going to take you back to that night." Dave leaned an inch closer toward her.

"But I don't remember anything," she protested.

"Consciously. Subconsciously…you know more than you give yourself credit. Mind if I sit down?" he asked. JJ nodded. He pulled the brown chair over and sat down. "This is…I'm going to walk you through - step by step - if I get too personal, I need you to tell me to stop, okay?"

"Okay," JJ whispered. Her eyes darted around the room as though she was looking for an escape route.

"Pen is right outside the door," Dave reassured her. "All you have to do is say her name, and she'll be in here. Now, I need you to focus." The seconds ticked by slowly as he waited for JJ to regain some kind of control. Everything was hinging on her ability to file away key evidence - the way she had been taught.

"When you came home, was anyone following you?" he asked.

"No."

"Think, Jennifer. Close your eyes and think back to that moment. Was anyone following you?"

JJ closed her eyes and concentrated. "It was dark…I remember getting out of the car and thinking about what Will said to me on the phone earlier."

"What did you talk about?" he prompted.

"The usual: he thought I spent too much time at the BAU and with the team, and not enough time at home with Henry. He insinuated that I might be having an affair."

It was possible that she had been too distracted to pay attention to what was happening around her, but he was hoping otherwise. "Is this normal?"

"Lately, it has been."

"Where was Will?" Dave knew, but he wanted to hear it from JJ.

"Out with our friends. He told me that he was going to go home with someone because he was tired of waiting around for me."

"As you entered the main lobby of the apartment complex, was anything out of place?" Dave wondered. JJ shook her head. "Anyone suspicious lurking around?" She shook her head again. "On the elevator?"

"I didn't see any…" She stopped in mid sentence. Closing her eyes tighter, she forced herself back to that moment when she punched the code in and opened the security door.

Immediately, Dave was on high alert. "What do you see?"

"The door," she whispered. "It didn't close. I thought the wind was holding it for that second."

"Did you turn to look?"

She shook her head. "The elevator doors were closing and I ran to catch it."

"You were on the elevator alone?"

"No. Mrs. Welch was there."

Time seemed to drag on as Dave weighed his next questions carefully. He was about to step into dangerous territory and he was going to have to maneuver carefully if either one of them was going to emerge in one piece.

"I need you to focus on the next series of events," he commanded gently. "I'm going to take you back to when the attack happened." He felt JJ tense up. "If you get scared, just call my name. Okay?"

"Okay." JJ's body was preparing for fight or flight and she tried to suppress the urge to do either one. _This is Dave Rossi_, she chanted to herself. _He's not going to hurt me. He's not going to let anything hurt me._

"Was anyone in the apartment when you got home?"

"The sitter. She was surprised to see me home so early. I paid her and sent her home."

"Did she mention anyone hanging around the hallway?"

"No."

"Any phone calls? Any mysterious knocks on the door?"

"No."

"What did you do after you sent her home?"

"Henry was asleep, so I was going to get something to eat and take a bath."

"What stopped you?" Dave asked.

"I forgot something at work, so I called Pen." JJ paused. "There was a knock on the door."

"Who was it?" Dave held his breath as he waited for the answer he already knew.

Reliving that moment, JJ crossed the room and open the door. Expecting to see the sitter on the other side, the memory brought back the nightmare. "No!" JJ screamed.

In an instant, Dave was on his feet. "Jennifer, it's okay. No one is going to hurt you," he comforted as she fought against the imaginary evil she saw behind her eyes.

"Don't touch me! Let me go!" She flailed helplessly against the vivid memory. "Let me go!"

With his free hand, Dave grabbed her shoulder to hold her still. "Jennifer! Jennifer, it's me, Dave! Open your eyes!"

"What's going on?" Pen demanded as she rushed into the room. "What did you do?"

"Kitten, you need to leave." He didn't turn his head to look at her, he needed to focus on JJ.

"Not until you tell me what you did!" she barked.

Dave didn't dare take his eyes off of the terrified woman resisting him, but he directed his words toward the other woman. "Pen, it's okay. She just had a flashback. She's going to be okay."

"She screamed."

Dave nodded. "She is going to do that," he acknowledged grimly.

"Are you done?" Pen whispered.

"Not yet."

"Can I stay?" Pen looked at the woman she loved with all of her heart being held back by the man she both respected and feared. "I won't make a sound. I just want to make sure she's alright."

"I don't think you want to…"

"I've counseled rape victims, so I know what to expect," she included as an afterthought.

"Pen…" He started then stopped. Maybe having another person JJ was familiar with might help things along. "Okay, but I need you to stay quiet," he commanded. "No matter what happens. Is that understood?"

"Yes, boss man." Pen shrank into the corner of the room and watched the scene unfold. Breathless, she and Dave waited for what was to come next.

It was the longest minute of anyone's life.


	16. Chapter 16

_Please don't hate Dave for what he has to do. _

**Believe Again**

"Jennifer, are you with me?" Dave asked.

"Yes," she sobbed.

"Good. I need to ask you what you saw."

"Horrible." Her head thrashed from side to side. "I don't…he is going to hurt me…"

"He's not going to hurt you," Dave insisted firmly. "I'm right here. Can you tell me what he looked like?"

"Short."

"Shorter than Hotch?" JJ nodded. "Shorter than me?" JJ nodded again. "Emily?"

"About her height."

"5'8". Okay. His build?"

JJ tried to remember what her mind was trying to block out. "Medium. Lanky."

"Old?"

"Mid thirties…I think. I don't know."

"Facial scars?" Dave prompted.

JJ covered her face with her hands. "I don't know."

"Think, Jennifer! You saw his face, did he have any scars? Birthmarks?" Dave tried to control his impatience. They were so close to finding that elusive clue and every bit helped.

She took a deep breath and tried to focus. "A scar."

"How long?"

"An inch. Maybe two."

"Where?"

"Across his cheek. Jagged."

"Did he have any tattoos?" Dave asked. "Birthmarks?"

"A kind of bird. A dove….no, an eagle. On his neck."

"Good. What about his teeth?"

"I don't know." She shook her head.

"His breath. Did it stink? Was there liquor? Cigarettes?"

"Beer. Stale beer. Not cigarettes. Marijuana, I think." She took a shuddered breath. "I don't like this, Dave. Please stop." Her cerulean blue eyes pleaded with him.

"We're almost done, Cara. I promise."

"I'm scared."

"I'm right here. Do you want to hold my hand?" Dave held his free hand out to her. He smiled when she hesitantly placed her thin hand in his. "Better?"

"Yes."

"Remember, he can't hurt you. But I want you to see it from the outside looking in." Dave felt her hand squeeze his tightly. "He's in the apartment. What is he doing?"

"He slapped me. Hard. I think I fell."

"What is he doing now?"

"He's…he's hurting me. I'm trying to stop him. I kicked him, but he has a knife. I need to focus on Henry…Henry is crying in his room," JJ rushed out as though her life depended on it. "He is ripping at my clothes. I think I bit him. He's kicking me. I can't make him stop. I can't reach my gun. Henry's crying."

Pen started sobbing silently as JJ got lost in the memory of the night before. Dave remained emotionless as he listened to every word of evidence.

"What is he telling you?" Dave asked.

"To keep quiet or he's going to hurt Henry. He asked me if I wanted to bring Henry out to watch. I have to get my baby," she cried.

"Henry's alright," he assured her. "Did the UNSUB say anything else?"

"He was going to kill me. Oh God! Get him off of me! He's hurting me! Help! God, help me! Dave, where are you?" she screamed.

"I'm right here, Jennifer. Right here. Open your eyes. See? It's alright."

"It hurts," she sobbed uncontrollably.

"I know, Cara."

"I can't do this. I hate you."

Her words pierced his heart, although he knew that deep down inside she didn't mean it. "I know you do. We're almost done."

"Are you sure?"

Dave nodded. "Yes." Looking at the weeping woman, he realized that as much as she hated him, it was nothing compared to how much he hated himself at that moment. "I need you to do one more thing. Close your eyes and block everything out." JJ hesitated. "It's okay. I'm not going to leave you. Close your eyes, sweetheart."

JJ did as she was told.

"I need you to go back to the moment when you opened the door. Are you there?"

JJ nodded. "Y-y-y…yes," she stuttered.

"Open the door."

"I can't," JJ pleaded.

"Yes, you can. Open the door, Jennifer." He waited. "Is it open?"

"Yes."

"Freeze that moment. What is he wearing?"

"I don't know."

"Concentrate. What is he wearing? It's important, Jen," Dave insisted with a hint of urgency.

JJ squeezed her eyes tighter. "Blue and white striped uniform shirt. Dirty blue jeans."

"Uniform shirt? Is there a name tag?" Dave's heart beat furiously. He was sure they had the break they needed. "A business name?"

"Dennis. I can't make out the business. It could be maintenance."

"Anything else?" he prompted.

She shook her head. "No. Can I close the door?"

Dave tightened his hold on her hand. "For now. You did good, Jen," he praised through a throat clogged with tears. "You did real good." He handed her a Kleenex.

JJ blew her nose. "Thanks. Can I talk to Henry?"

Dave nodded. He patted her hand lovingly. "I'm sure that Penelope can arrange that." He stood up. "I have to get back to the BAU."

"Don't go," JJ whispered.

"I have to. You gave us a good lead to go with. I need to give this to Kevin Lynch. Okay?"

JJ reached out and grabbed Dave's hand. "I'm afraid."

"Penelope is here. She's going to stay until Emily comes in later. I'll be back…if you want me to." Wordlessly, JJ nodded. "Okay. I'll be back as soon as I can." He turned to the analyst. "Take care of her."

Pen walked over to the bed and hoped no one could see her shaking legs. "I will, boss." Taking the sobbing blonde in her arms, Pen held on tight. She knew better than anyone that this was only the first step on the long road JJ had in her recovery. But Pen was going to stay right by her side until she got her precious buttercup back.

Watching the two women bond, Dave wished he could stay, but it wasn't the right moment and time. Plus, he had a job to do. When everything settled down, he would make his peace with JJ. With a nod of his head, Dave exited the room. As soon as the door closed, he pulled out his cell phone and dialed.

"Hotch? It's Dave. I just finished talking to Jennifer; we have a break….I'm on my way right now. See you in twenty." Disconnecting, he hurried toward the elevators.  
******

On the other side of town, in a hole in the wall one story house, a figure walked over to the fridge and took out a beer. Popping the lid, he took a long drink. A loud, burp followed. It was a federal holiday and he didn't have to be at work. And since there was nothing on TV, he was going to have to find a way to entertain himself.

Flashbacks of two nights earlier danced in his head as his body stirred with the memory of the blonde bitch screaming out as he took her by force. He smiled as he remembered the terror in her eyes as he told her what he was going to do to her son after he finished fucking her every which way he could think of.

She had clawed him and tried to fight back but she was no match for him and a knife. He hated her and he was going to punish her for just being alive. Just like every other woman on planet earth who had walked past him and pretended that he didn't exist. She thought she was so high and mighty talking on her cell and ignoring him, but he had brought her down a peg or two. He licked his lips at the memory of ripping open her white blouse and sucking on her firm breasts. His erection throbbed painfully as he recalled pushing deep into her as she screamed for help.

He drained the beer can, crushed it, and tossed it in the trash. Reaching over to the table, he plucked a joint and lit it. Taking a long drag, he let the pungent smoke fill his lungs and relax him. She had been a sweet piece of ass and he wished he could visit it again. Too bad the cops had gotten there. Who would have thought she would have had an alarm system in that matchbox apartment of hers?

Well, he thought with a snort, there were more of her where she came from - uppity bitches who kept it all to themselves- they weren't better. And he had his needs.

He finished up the joint and deposited the remains in the ash tray. He should have finished her off. Wouldn't it have been something to watch the light fade from her blue eyes as he thrust into her and filled her with his seed? The day was young and he knew how to get into where he needed to.

Walking to the closet, he donned the blue and white striped shirt. Brushing his hair back, he made sure he looked every inch of the consummate utilities worker. It was to his advantage that not many people were aware that city water and sewer observed the same holidays as the banks. And what woman wasn't going to believe him when he had a work order stating that there was a leak somewhere on the property?

Picking up his keys and wallet, he pulled on his work coat. It was time to play.

"Time for Daddy to have some fun," he stated and closed the apartment door behind him with a slam.


	17. Chapter 17

**_This chapter- and the next two to follow - was written before I took my sabbatical, but ilovetvalot demanded an update "or else!" So, here it is._  
**

**Believe Again**

Hotch was waiting for Dave as he hurried off the elevator into the bullpen.

"What did you find out?"

"I think I got what we needed from Jennifer. It took some time and I'm sure I set her back, but…"

"You did what you had to do," Hotch interrupted.

"Doesn't make what I had to do any easier."

"But you got what we needed out of her."

Dave sighed. His look was one of defeat. "At what cost? Emily should have been the one to interrogate her; not me."

"You're the best interrogator we have," Hotch argued. "And the one person JJ can trust."

"I'm a hostage _negotiator_, Aaron," Dave corrected. "I talk people down from clock towers and out of the crazy tree. I'm the one who makes sure that the people being held at gunpoint walk safely out of the bank. What I did at the hospital…" He ran a hand over his face.

Hotch shook his head. "When we catch this guy…"

"We have to catch this guy first," Dave interjected. "Did you pass what I sent on to Lynch?"

"He's going thru all the metro utility board employees right now. And I sent Morgan and Prentiss down to JJ's complex to check their records for anyone who had access to the building outside of regular maintenance."

"Good move." Dave winced as he moved his arm.

Hotch looked down at the cast. "How does it feel?"

"It hurts like hell," he quipped. "Like I hit a brick wall with my fist."

Hotch gave him a wry smile. "You _did_ hit a brick wall. You came really close to losing your job."

"I was pissed at the son of a bitch for what he did to JJ, but even I know my boundaries." Dave headed up the staircase to his office. Hotch was on his heels.

"Are you sure about that?" Hotch asked as he closed the door.

"What are you implying, Aaron, that I don't follow rules and regulations?" Dave countered back as he sat down behind the desk. Impatiently he opened and closed the drawers until he found the bottle of scotch he kept in the bottom drawer in a secret compartment. Putting the bottle on the desk, he followed it with two glasses.

"To say that you don't would mean that you would have to have regard for rules and regs in the first place." Hotch raised an eyebrow as Dave poured the amber liquid generously. "Case in point."

Dave put the lid back on and returned the bottle to the drawer. "It's been a long couple of days. I need to unwind." He lifted the glass and sipped.

"I thought you were on pain meds?"

"Pain meds are for when it gets too much to bear. Besides, they cloud my judgment. I need a clear head. Now take the drink, Aaron," he growled.

Reaching for the glass, Hotch sipped the potent scotch tentatively. It burned going down, but it did help clear his head. "Aged to perfection," he complimented.

"Nineteen eighty-six. Good year. I married my second wife, and I sold my first crime thriller."

"Graduated from college and was heading to Harvard Law," Hotch mused at the memory. "I need you to take the rest of the day off and go home," he changed the subject.

"Is that an order or a suggestion?" Dave returned in an amused tone.

"Both. I need you at your best and it's been two days. Until we get formally invited…"

Dave drained his glass and slammed it on the desk. "Formally invited? A federal agent was raped and assaulted in her apartment with her son less than fifteen feet away! We don't need a formal invite!"

"Actually, we do." Hotch shook his head. He knew that he was about to walk into a mine field. "IA thinks that we are a little too close to comfort with this and they are suggesting to the FBI Director that we be taken off the case."

"Who is going to take our place?" Dave questioned as he narrowed his eyes.

"Swann's team is on standby."

"The hell they are! Our friend and team member is lying in a bed with three fractured ribs after being brutalized. I don't care what IA thinks or says."

"Dave…" Hotch cautioned.

"Is it that same sniveling little bastard who investigated us after Garcia's shooting?" he asked.

"No. It's someone else."

"And what did Erin have to say about this?"

"She's not back from her meeting with the Commissioner."

"We will be allowed on this case," Dave stated emphatically. He stood up and began restlessly pacing the office.

"Dave…" Hotch warned. "I know what you did…moving JJ and Henry into your home."

"And…?" Dave prompted.

"Once IA gets wind of that, there is no way they are going to let us in. You know that! It will be a conflict of interest."

"There is no conflict, Aaron; I am providing a place for JJ to recuperate. My yard is big enough for Henry to have a swing and to run around. A boy needs to stretch his legs."

"Were you going to run this past me for approval?"

"I don't need your approval to help a friend," Dave returned smoothly.

Hotch narrowed his eyes. "Yes, you do. How is it going to look when it's found out that JJ is staying with you? What is IA going to say? This could corrupt the case if it goes to trial! JJ's reputation is going to be on the line…not that scumbag who did this to her."

"You think I don't know that?" Dave shot back. "I've questioned more than one rape victim in my career. I've sat in on more than one rape trial; I know what to expect. I know what hell she is going to go thru. And I am going to do everything I can to protect her."

"By moving her into your house?"

"What was I supposed to do? Let her go back to the apartment? We did the profile and determined that this guy was going to kill her! Do we set her with armed guards around the clock?"

"Yes!"

"We did that with Garcia and look what happened! A father and decorated police officer was murdered. You think this guy isn't going to try to get to JJ and finish what he started?"

"You don't know that! Nothing we've found even points in the direction that he goes back to finish what he started," Hotch reasoned.

"We don't know that he doesn't! Until CODIS comes back, I am going to assume that this guy means business. And besides, when word gets out that the woman he assaulted was a federal agent, what makes you think that he won't get bolder?" Dave remarked matter of fact. "My home is protected by a state of the art security system. And Mudgie is K-9 trained. Unless that jag off is armed to the teeth, there is no way that he is going to be able to get into my house," he finished.

"I understand why you are doing this," Hotch reasoned, "but it's how it looks from the outside. JJ…"

"JJ is the innocent party. Will was cheating on her. She was assaulted. Her son could have died. You've been in her shoes…you know what she is feeling. So don't get on your soapbox and start preaching to me. If I remember correctly, you had Emily driving you back and forth from work. How do you think _that_ looked to everyone?"

"This is different! My case didn't go to trial!"

"No it didn't," Dave sneered. "If I remember correctly, you killed the man."

Hotch struggled to hold in his temper. "That was unfair."

"And so is the light you're painting JJ in. When you were lost, we helped you. We provided that security and strength for you to move on. JJ was there for you and Henry. Now it's time to return the favour."

"This is not going to end well."

"With any luck, the only person it won't end well for is the UNSUB."

"When this comes back, are you ready for the repercussions?"

"There will be no repercussions. JJ is on medical leave for at least six weeks. If anyone has anything to say about it, they can come to me. And to be honest, the only person who seems to have a problem with this is you."

"I'm worried about JJ."

"So am I." Dave stepped form around the desk. Facing Hotch, the two men stared at one another unblinking. "What are you implying, Aaron?"

"Is there something going on between you and JJ that I need to know about?"

"Why don't you just come out and ask if we're sleeping together? Isn't that what you mean?" Dave fumed.

"I didn't mean that, but it doesn't look good on her," Hotch argued.

Dave gave a sardonic snort. "JJ gets raped and it doesn't look good on her?" Reaching over, Dave grabbed the glass and threw it across the room. It shattered upon impact with the wall. Before either man could say anything, the door flew open.

"Agent Rossi, I suggest you back down before you get your other hand broken and then I will have to put you on medical leave…permanently," the voice spoke from the door way.


	18. Chapter 18

**_For ilovetvalot._  
**

**Believe Again**

Dave didn't have to turn his head to know who was standing in the doorway.

"Hello to you too, Erin."

Erin took a few steps into the office. "It seems that this is the second time in just as many days that I have had to keep you from doing something stupid. Are you trying to get fired?"

"I never _try_ at anything. If I wanted to get fired, I would have done that by finishing off Will LaMontagne in the hallway," Dave returned.

"I think you need to go home and get some rest."

"I don't need to do anything, Erin. My place is here at the BAU."

Erin kept her eyes trained on the agent. "No. Your place is where you can rest. Go home."

"Are you giving me an order? If I remember, I out rank you in TIS." Dave turned to face the BAU Chief.

"_Used_ _to_," she corrected. "You were gone for ten years and now I have you beat by seven months. I also outrank you in rank." She stepped in closer. "I'm ordering you to go home. I don't want you here or anywhere near here for the next twenty four hours. If I even catch wind that you even thought about stepping foot in the Hoover Building, I will write you up for insubordination and kick you out of the FBI so fast, Dr Reid won't be able to calculate when your ass will hit the pavement. Do I make myself clear, David?"

Dave considered a reply for moment as their eyes met and locked. Finally, Dave gave in. "Okay, Erin, you win…this time." Picking up his coat, he slipped it on and left the office without a word.

Hotch let out his breath. "Do I want to know how the meeting with the Commissioner went?" he hedged.

Not giving the BAU Chief a glance, Erin Strauss walked over to Dave's desk and opened the bottom drawer. Taking out the bottle of scotch, she set it on the desk. "Give me your glass," she ordered.

"What are you doing?" Hotch asked.

"I'm having a drink," she dryly retorted. "Now give me your glass, Agent Hotchner." Taking the glass from Hotch, she poured herself a generous amount and gulped a swallow. "To answer your question, I've always known where Agent Rossi kept his liquor."

"So, what is happening down at Metro?"

Rolling her eyes, Erin sat down in the office chair. "Seems that there have been a series of rapes and assaults happening in the DC and surrounding area since the start of the year. So far, thirteen women have been brutalized by a man who knocks on their door requesting to check a leak in their apartment…" She took another sip and tried to control her emotions. "The paperwork is legit - as are the work orders he presents."

"Who does he work for?" Hotch asked.

Erin shrugged. "No one knows anything. Three of the women refused to be checked out or even make a police report because he told them that he would come back and kill them if they went to the police. Another woman moved out of the area."

"And the others…" Hotch prompted.

"We have their rape kits on file, but…"

"He used a condom."

"Yes." The single word was said in a tone laced with defeat.

"So, what little bit they got - was it put in CODIS? Was there any evidence?"

"Not unless Kevin Lynch or Penelope Garcia can work a miracle."

"If he hit once - or rather, thirteen times - he will hit again." Hotch took the chair opposite of the desk. "What was Metro's reason for not informing us?"

Erin waved him off. "The usual: don't want other kids pissing in their sandbox. They thought we would push them out." She set the empty glass on the desk. "And in the process, Jennifer Jareau became a victim."

Heavy silence filled the space between the two agents.

"It was my fault," Erin admitted.

"It was no one's fault," Hotch corrected.

"I had her stay behind to finish up those reports when she could have been home or out to dinner. Instead, I made her stay here, while I was at an embassy party." Erin blinked back the hot tears that burned her eyes.

"I'm the one who sent her home," Hotch returned. "I had one more report I needed to find, but I knew that she had other plans, so I sent her home. I take the blame in that too."

"Those reports weren't due until next week. I just wanted them out of the way," Erin continued as though Hotch hadn't spoken.

"Do you know what would have happened if she had gone out instead of going home?" Hotch wondered softly. "The babysitter would have been there instead - alone with Henry. She would not have been able to fight the guy off, and chances are that the UNSUB would have killed her and Henry."

Erin shook her head. "Are you saying that this was for the best?" she asked in disbelief.

Hotch weighed his words carefully. "I'm not sure if any alternative would have been for 'the best'. I've learned that sometimes you have to look at the way fate arranges things and after the dust settles, you pick up the pieces and move ahead."

"That reasoning doesn't bring me comfort. And it doesn't ease the guilt."

Hotch nodded. "I know. But right now, Director, guilt isn't going to help catch this guy. We got information from JJ today and I sent the team out to check on the leads."

"Any word from them?" Erin inquired.

"Nothing. So…where does that leave the team?" Hotch prompted.

"We're in. It's federal now…regardless of what Metro wants or doesn't want. A federal agent has been involved and if they don't like it, they can kiss my ass." Erin's tone dripped with anger. "I want you to take the lead on this, Aaron."

Hotch blinked in surprise. "I was under the impression that Swann's team was going to take over? Wouldn't this be a conflict of interest?"

"Is it a conflict of interest when a cop is shot and the force is out looking for the perp?" she returned sardonically. "You are taking the lead. I do, however, want your team and Swann's to join forces. The more we get out in the field, the faster we might stop this son of a bitch."

A knock on the door interrupted them.

"Come in," Erin announced. "Agent Anderson," she acknowledged. "What seems to be the problem?"

The young agent appeared flustered by her presence in Dave Rossi's office. "Director Strauss," he greeted politely. "Um, Agent Hotchner - there appears to have been another attack on a woman in Georgetown." He extended the piece of paper toward Hotch.

Immediately, Hotch and Erin jumped to their feet.

"When did this happen?" Hotch questioned as his eyes scanned the information for any clue.

"Last night. In an apartment in Georgetown," the young agent supplied. "The woman lived alone. It seems the guy broke in thru the bedroom window and assaulted her." Anderson paused. "He strangled her with her panties."

"Who found her?" Hotch flipped the page and kept reading.

"Her best friend. Its seems she didn't show up for work, so…"

"Where is her body?" Erin demanded.

"The - the morgue," Anderson stammered. "They are waiting for next of kin notification."

Hotch let out his breath. It was just as he and Dave had feared. "It seems our UNSUB has taken it to another level."

"Agent Hotchner, call your team and have them go over to the crime scene," she ordered. "Agent Anderson, I want you to accompany me to the morgue. Tell Agent Swann to meet us there." Erin stood up. "We are going to catch this guy."

Anderson nodded. "Yes ma'am." He hurried out the door toward the bullpen.

Erin steeled a gaze at Hotch. "I want something within the hour." She paused. "And I don't want word of this getting to Agent Rossi. Understand?"

"Yes, Director," Hotch answered.

"And I want increased security outside of Agent Jareau's room."

Together they left the office.


	19. Chapter 19

**_For ilovetvalot._  
**

**Believe Again**

"So, we are assuming that the UNSUB went thru this window," Prentiss pointed to the broken window and then to the door of the spare room, "and down the hallway," she traced the steps. "To the master bedroom where he raped and strangled Angelia Foster."

The detective nodded. "It appears he surprised her while she was asleep. She didn't fight back." There was nothing to indicate that much of a struggle happened in the room. As far as he was concerned, it was a clear cut case of rape and murder after being caught by surprise in the middle of the night.

"Yes she did," Prentiss corrected. "It's a natural reaction to fight or flight." She nodded toward the sheet and comforter lying haphazardly on the hard wood floor. "Although catching her by surprise did lessen her reaction time," she admitted.

"Do you think this is the guy who assaulted your agent?" the older man asked carefully.

Prentiss's eyes hardened at the memory of JJ in the hospital room recovering from the brutal attack of two nights earlier. "I do. There is nothing that even points to coincidence." Her phone rang. "Excuse me." Turning away, she answered. "Yes, Director Strauss," she greeted then paused as she listened carefully. "Yes. Yes. I understand. I will pass that on. Thank you."

Hotch entered the room. "What's wrong?"

Prentiss hit end and turned toward the senior agent. "That was Director Strauss. They did the preliminary autopsy and the UNSUB wore a condom. There goes our evidence," she sighed.

"He left something behind. Dave mentioned that JJ told him that the UNSUB was high. He could have been careless. It's just a matter of finding what he was careless about." Hotch's eyes scanned the room for anything that could help. Stopping, he walked over to the side of the bed.

"What's wrong?" Prentiss asked as she watched Hotch kneel down.

"Get forensics in here," he replied. His latex gloved hand gently touched the object.

Without a word, Prentiss left. In a moment the forensics team was in the room.

"What colour was the victim's hair?" Hotch asked.

Prentiss searched her memory. "Black. Why?"

"May I have those?" Hotch pointed toward the tweezers. He plucked something from the hardwood floor and held it up. "We have our evidence."

Prentiss moved over for a closer look. "What is that?"

"A blonde hair. And I'll bet anything that it belongs to our UNSUB," he answered. "Bag it all," he ordered the tech.

"I'm calling Strauss now." Prentiss began dialing.  
********

Dave knocked gently and pushed open the door to JJ's room. "Kitten?" he called out softly. When no answer greeted him, he stepped inside.

JJ was fast asleep and in the chair next to her bed was Penelope. Her head rested back against the chair as she was curled uncomfortably in the seat, her laptop on the floor. Walking over, he laid a hand on Pen's shoulder.

"Kitten," he whispered loudly. "Wake up."

Startled, Pen came awake with a gasp. "Get off of me! Don't touch me!" she exclaimed and looked around. "Oh, Boss. It's you."

"It's okay." Dave's eyes were soft. "Go home."

Pen looked at her best friend sleeping soundly…or as soundly as the medication would allow. "I can't leave her."

"She'll be okay. You look like death. Go home and get some rest and something to eat."

Pen peered closely at the agent. "You look like death too."

"Maybe so, but I'm not the one trying to help JJ out here and doing the computer research at the same time."

"She needs me," Pen protested.

"She needs you to be on your game and sharp," Dave corrected. "And to do so, you need to go home."

"What if she wakes up?" Pen threw a frightful look toward her friend. "She…she…they gave her something to help her...but she's still - I don't know - fighting something."

Dave caught the look of empathy in the tech analyst's eyes before she glanced away. "And you know this…how?"

"I…I counsel rape victims," Pen confessed. "I know how they feel."

"But there is empathy. Sympathy is a given with counseling, but you're feeling empathy." Dave crooked a finger under Pen's chin. "You've been where JJ is," he pointed out matter of fact but there was nothing accusatory in his tone.

"I…" Pen bit her lip and considered lying, but it was Dave Rossi and he would see thru it and nothing good could come of that. "Yes," she admitted. "It was a few years before I joined the BAU." She didn't try to hold back the tears. "I never told anyone."

"Now I know why you wanted to kill me outside the door earlier. And why you jumped when I touched you while you were asleep." Dave brushed a tear away with his thumb. "Why didn't you tell someone?" he asked gently.

"Because…it wouldn't have mattered. And it's in the past."

"Still…it haunts you." Pen nodded. "It's okay, Penelope. But I need you to go home. I'll take over this part of the shift."

"Okay." Pen gathered up her laptop and purse. "But if she needs me…"

"I have your number on speed dial, Kitten."

Leaning over JJ, Pen pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I'll see you later, angel." Blinking fast, she headed toward the door. Pausing, she turned around. "Are you sure?"

"Go home," Dave commanded firmly. He watched until she left the room and the door closed behind her. Sitting down in the empty chair, he stared at the sleeping blonde. A feel of protectiveness overwhelmed him. He took her small white hand in his and held on tightly.

"We're going to catch him, Jennifer," he promised. "He's going to pay for doing this to you. I promise." He tightened his hold and settled in for a long night. Maybe with any luck he could catch a nap before he tried to sneak back into the Hoover Building. Erin might try to arrest him, but as long as there was an UNSUB out there with thirst for blood, it was going to take more than an army to keep him from being on the case.

Leaning his head back, he closed his eyes and listened to the faint noise from the hallway. He could feel himself fade off into the blissful peace of sleep.

Until the scream from hell filled the room.


	20. Chapter 20

**_For ilovetvalot because she demanded it._  
**

**Believe Again**

Dave jumped out of his chair and nearly his skin as the bloodcurdling scream filled the air. For a moment he tried to register where it had come from, when JJ screamed again. Within a second he was standing over her.

"Jennifer, open your eyes," he commanded gently but firmly. Without thinking, he reached out and touched her.

"Don't touch me!" JJ yelled. She flailed against the unknown person who was holding her down. Blindly she swung out to defend herself. Her fist connected successfully and she put her weight behind breaking loose.

Dave blinked quickly as stars danced in his head from the force of JJ's punch. He knew she was a great shot, but he would have never guessed that she packed a helluva right hook in that tiny fist. Shaking his head, he took a deep breath as he implemented his negotiation skills…it was the only way he was going to walk away in one piece.

"Jennifer, it's okay; open your eyes," Dave repeated calmly as he grabbed her wrists and grimaced from the pain in his left wrist.

"Leave me alone!" she yelled. "Let me go!"

"Sir, I need you to step aside," the nurse commanded suddenly appearing on the scene. Assessing the situation, she ripped the wrapper off the syringe.

Turning his head, Dave watched as the nurse readied the sedative.

"No. She doesn't need that," Dave snapped.

"Sir, she's out of control; I need to calm her down before she hurts herself. Now step aside," the nurse returned coldly.

"Everything is copesetic; she just had a nightmare."

"This is not a nightmare," the nurse snapped. "Now move aside."

"If you touch her, I will arrest you," Dave stated in a low tone that bordered on defiance. His look dared her to cross him.

"Are you her husband?" the nurse shot back, but she stopped moving toward the bed.

"No, I'm not."

"Then you can't make medical decisions on her behalf. Now step aside or I will have you removed from the hospital," she ordered angrily.

"I don't have time for this," Dave growled impatiently. Reaching into his coat pocket, he pulled out his phone. Flipping it open, he pressed two buttons quickly.

"What are you doing?"

"Calling the hospital Chief of Staff," Dave replied. "I'll let you tell him how you obviously can handle this better than I can." He extended the phone toward her. "Go ahead and tell him."

Unsure, the nurse glanced at Dave, then JJ, then back to Dave. "I don't think that will be necessary," she conceded.

"Now that you see things my way, get the hell out of this room and don't come back," Dave bit out thru clenched teeth. He kept his eyes on JJ, but his words were directed at the nurse. "Everything is under control."

"I'm going to have to report this to my superior," the nurse stated as she replaced the cap on the syringe.

Dave nodded in agreement. "You do that. Meanwhile, I will take care of Jennifer. By the way, tell him I said hello."

With an angry snort, the nurse left the room. Dave waited for the door to close behind her before he turned his attention to the distraught woman on the hospital bed.

"Jennifer, I need you to open your eyes," he ordered firmly. "Open your eyes, Cara."

JJ obeyed the order. Blinking against the harsh light, she tried to focus on the figure leaning over her.

"Rossi?" she breathed.

"It's me," he confirmed with a soft smile.

"He was here," JJ cried and shrunk into her bed. Her eyes were wild with fear as she tried to differentiate reality from imagination.

"No he wasn't."

"I saw him," she argued. "He came thru the door and he grabbed me. He tried to take Henry…" she rushed on, her words running one into another.

"Henry is okay. He's with Jessica," Dave confirmed. "I'm the only person here, I swear."

"I need to hold him," JJ cried, her chest heaved from the force of emotions running thru her body. "I want to hold my baby." The tears fell from her eyes.

"I know, Cara," Dave soothed. His grip on JJ's wrists loosened but he was still on guard for any last second mood swings. Working five years with JJ had given him enough insight into her personality, but these were extenuating circumstances and even the most even tempered person could lose control when in the grip of PTSD.

"I want my baby," JJ sobbed. "I want to go home."

"I know," he repeated.

"What if he gets to me?" she asked fearfully.

Dave shook his head. "That isn't going to happen. There is a guard outside your door and if the UNSUB gets past him, then he'll have to deal with me. I won't let him get to you."

"Have you found him?"

"No," Dave admitted reluctantly. "But we're closing in on him. He can run, but we'll find him."

"What if you don't? What if he goes underground? What if he…?" JJ challenged. For a moment her inner strength called motherhood reared up as she prepared to fight anyone who might hurt her child.

"We are going to find him and we are going to stop him," Dave affirmed. His brown eyes locked with JJ's weepy blue ones.

"Promise?" she whispered.

"I never make a promise I don't intend to keep. The team has the profile and we are on his trail."

"What…" JJ started but Dave's index finger pressed against her lips to silence her question.

"I sent Penelope home to get some rest. Lynch is working alongside the Forensics Team to find that one missing clue that is eluding us. When we get him - not if - _when_ we get him, I can guarantee that he is going to pay for what he did." Dave saw the fight begin to leave her body and he began to relax. A little.

"Why aren't you with the team?" she observed.

"I volunteered to be here with you. Besides, I'm on light duty for six weeks." He raised his left arm to show the cast. "Strauss decided that I could be better here," he fibbed. JJ tried to profile him but her brain was too fuzzy to determine if he was lying to her.

"Do you think you can rest?" Dave asked gently. JJ nodded. "Good. Then I want you to try and eat something."

JJ settled in and waited for Dave to pull the covers up to ward off the sudden chill of the room. "I hate hospital food."

"Well, if you don't eat, they won't let you go home. Just try a little…for me," Dave suggested. "I promise that when you get out of here, I will cook you an Italian dinner like you've never tasted before. Do you like Panini with Prosciutto?"

JJ shook her head slowly. She was so tired. "Never…never had it," she said thickly as her eyes closed then opened, trying to focus on Dave.

"Then I will make it for you, and you will enjoy it," he promised. He watched as exhaustion took over. "Now go to sleep. You need to rest so you can go home."

"Okay," she whispered. "Don't leave."

Dave took her small hand in his. "I won't."

JJ gave him a tiny smile and closed her eyes. Eventually her breathing evened out as she fell into a fatigue induced sleep. Moving his chair closer to the bed, Dave held on to JJ's hand.

"Rest, Cara; we will get him," he vowed before settling in for a long stay.


	21. Chapter 21

**Believe Again**

Penelope Garcia tried to balance her large cup of Vanilla Cinnamon Latte and the folders in hands as she hurried down the hallway to her beloved lair. Two days away and she felt as though it had been years. It was the second longest time she had spent away from her babies - aside from vacations and going on cases - and it had driven her crazy.

Pressing the buttons to the door, she waited for her security code to clear, then she turned the handle. As the cold air blast on her, she suddenly felt alive. She was home.

She set her items on the desk and booted the system. She had a minute to waste…

"Baby Girl?" Morgan called out. "Are you in there?"

"Come in," she invited and took a seat before Morgan entered the room. "You're a sight for sore eyes," she greeted.

"I could say the same for you." He leaned down and dropped a kiss on her cheek. "How is JJ?"

"Better…or at least as better as she can be." Pen noticed the system was up, and leaned over to begin typing in passwords to bring up screens. "How are things here?"

Morgan grinned broadly to show his pearly white teeth. "Aside from Strauss being fit to be tied over Rossi moving JJ into his place upon her release? It's the same old, same old, here. We may have gotten a break, but we're still waiting for Forensics."

"You think they found him?" hope was in her voice. Her hands stilled on the keyboard.

"It's possible, but until CODIS comes back with something you can put in the system, we are still profiling this bastard." He looked at the coffee cup. "May I?"

Pen nodded. "Sure."

Morgan sipped. "Mama, we have to get you drinking real coffee," he gagged. "This stuff is crap."

"No," she contradicted, "that stuff is a unique blend. It's only for the most sophisticated coffee drinker."

"It's crap," he stated and set the cup down. "What do you think?"

"About…?" she prompted.

"JJ and Henry moving in with Rossi?"

Pen leaned back in her chair. "I think it will do them good. I stopped by last night to see Henry…"

"How is the munchkin?"

"Adorable. He wanted to know if I had talked to his mommy and if she had caught the bad guy yet," Pen sniffed as she recalled the meeting.

"He's quite a trooper."

"I know. He and Jack are good friends, and Jessica says that he's an angel - hardly any trouble at all."

"He's always been a good little man," Morgan agreed.

"Well, when I left, he gave me the biggest hug. And I realized that I have to catch this…creep. Even if it's the last thing I do," she said, while reaching for a tissue to dab at her eyes. "He gave me a drawing to pass on to JJ when I see her again." She pulled the piece of paper out of her purse and handed it over.

"That's pretty good," Morgan complimented.

"I know." She folded the paper and stuffed it back in her purse. "I'm going to catch him."

"I have no doubts about that. If anyone can do it, it will be Miss Penelope Garcia and her wizardry on the computers," he said with a wink.

She smiled. Her first real smile in days. "You know how to make a girl feel better."

"Because I'm 'the man'."

Pen rolled her eyes. "You'll be 'the man' when you learn to like my choice in coffees. Now let me get to work and see what I can do to make sure our tax money goes for something constructive…like housing his sorry ass for a thousand years." She began typing furiously while her eyes scanned every bit of information that it pulled up.

"I'll see you later," Morgan said and kissed the top of her head. Walking to the door, he paused when he heard Pen's soft voice.

"Do you know want to know a secret?" she asked.

Morgan turned to look at her. "Sure."

"Just between you and me."

"Okay." He nodded in agreement.

"I think I'm a bad person."

"Why is that, Baby Girl?" Morgan appeared confused by her statement.

"I don't believe in an eye for an eye, but I want this guy dead so he never hurts anyone ever again," she whispered, but the anger was apparent in her tone.

Morgan leaned over and cupped her cheek in his hand. "Penny, what's going to happen is out of our hands…when it comes to…" he tried to choose his words wisely, "…rendering justice. But if he decides to go out in a blaze of glory, he might get his wish. But right now," he continued, "you work on getting us what we need to make sure we find him. Deal?" He smiled.

Blinking quickly, Pen nodded. "Okay."

"That's my Baby Girl." He kissed her quickly and left. Turning toward her computer monitors, Pen wiped her tears away with a shaky hand. Typing information in, she watched the links connect. Breathing out a heavy sigh, she tried another avenue. And another.

"Come on!" she growled. "Give me something," she pleaded to the computer gods. "One little thing that can help my buttercup." Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath. Then she let it out.

Suddenly the computer dinged that information had been received. Opening the attachment, she scanned the words on the screen. Afraid to say anything for fear of making the news disappear, she printed the information. With shaky legs, she hurried to Hotch's office, knocked, then let herself inside.

Swallowing hard, she glanced at Hotch and then at Erin Strauss.

"Yes, Garcia?" Hotch asked as he stood up. Her face was slightly ashen, but there was a sparkle that hadn't been noticeable for a few days.

"I just got this." Pen handed over the sheets of paper. She waited for Hotch to read the words and then hand her result over to Strauss.

"I think I cracked the case," she whispered. "I think I found the UNSUB."


	22. Chapter 22

**Believe Again**

Pen's information was on target and once the CODIS came back, it was made real: they had tracked down their UNSUB and he had a name.

"Woodrow Herman Buchannan," Hotch announced to the team and the group of SWAT personnel that were gathered in the room. "That's the man we suspect of raping and killing approximately four women and assaulting two - including a federal agent. We consider him armed and dangerous."

"We also believe that he is a narcissist with psychopathic tendencies," Morgan continued with the profile. "We know that he loves to torture his victims and waits until they are alone to rape them. He has even gone so far as to invite one of the victims' child to watch." His hands involuntarily clenched as the memory of seeing JJ lying on the stretcher bloody, battered and broken, flashed before his eyes.

"Chances are that he isn't going to surrender willingly," Prentiss pointed out. "He is a manipulator and will feel no remorse for what he's done. He's fearless when it comes to consequence and it's likely that he won't care that he's going to jail."

"That doesn't mean that he doesn't have fear," Reid explained, "he just doesn't care. He's gotten away with these crimes for so long, he feels almost omnipotent. He may even go so far as to blame his victims so that you will have sympathy for him."

"We believe that if pushed into a corner, he will not hesitate to kill a police officer to either help in his escape, or add to his already grandiose idea of who he is," Hotch concluded.

"Are you saying that he will do a 'suicide by cop'?" one officer asked.

Hotch nodded. "I have no doubt that he will do anything to keep from being arrested."

The leader of the SWAT team stepped forward. "We are going to send in two teams - one from the east and one to cover his possible escape route on the north side of the building." He pointed to the outlay of the apartment complex. "We are going in silent - lest he be spooked and try to run. Agents Hotchner and Morgan are going to follow in. Any questions? Let's load up."

The officers stood up and went into their respective groups.

"I'm going with you," Erin Strauss announced.

Hotch was surprised but didn't let it show. "I can't allow that, Director. We are going after a man who has no fear and won't hesitate to kill any one of us."

"I don't care," she retorted angrily. "I consider Agent Jareau a friend and a teammate and I want to be there when he arrest the man who did this to her." Strauss glared at Hotch as if to dare him to defy her request.

"Personal feelings is one of the reasons I can't allow…"

Strauss's expression hardened. "Can't or won't?" she challenged. "The last time I looked, Agent Hotchner, I was a trained FBI agent, too."

"You don't have the field experience," he pointed out matter of fact, his tone holding an edge.

"I have some," she contradicted.

"It's going to be dangerous; I won't allow…"

"I am still the Director of the BAU division and I override your decision. If something happens, I will take full responsibility. As for being able to take care of myself, I think I'll be alright." For a brief second her mask slipped and her vulnerability showed. "I want to catch this guy, Agent Hotchner. I owe it to Jennifer."

Hotch's lips twitched. "You stay close to Agents Morgan and Prentiss," he conceded.

"Thank you." She turned to confer with the SWAT leader.

"Hotch, you're not actually going to let her go with us when we take this guy down, are you?" Morgan asked, careful to not let his voice carry.

"She _is_ an FBI agent and she does have the right, as the BAU director, to accompany us," Hotch pointed out.

"You remember how she was in Minnesota; she doesn't know the first thing about a take down," Morgan protested. "I've never seen her hold a weapon," he pointed out.

"She's qualified."

"She might be 'qualified', but I'm not qualified to be her babysitter. If anything happens…"

"She'll take responsibility," Hotch reminded the younger agent.

"That's not the point, Hotch," Morgan argued, his eyes narrowing.

"It's not up for argument. Currently we are down two agents, so we don't have much of a choice right now. Director Strauss will be on your team, and that is not up for argument," Hotch concluded. He looked at his watch. "Let's move out."

Giving one last glare, Morgan followed Hotch from the room.  
******

"What's wrong, Henry?" Jack asked as he sat down beside the little boy he considered his little brother, though there was no blood relation between them.

Henry sighed heavily. "I miss my mommy," he replied.

"I know how you feel. I miss my mommy, too."

Henry looked at Jack in wonder. "Is your mommy off catching bad guys, too?" His eyes widened.

Jack shook his head. "No. My mommy had to go to heaven. But Daddy says that she's watching me."

"Is she an angel?" Henry breathed.

"Yes."

"Do you miss her?"

"All the time."

"Does she miss you?"

"I don't know. Daddy says she does."

Henry's blue eyes filled with tears. "Do you think my mommy misses me?"

Jack nodded quickly. "Yes, she does."

"I got a secret," Henry whispered. "I like Aunt Jessica, but I want to go home."

Unable to think of a reply, Jack put his arm around the little boy's shoulders. "My daddy will be back real soon because he's gonna get the bad guy. He always does."

"Will my mommy be with him?" Henry asked innocently.

"Yes." Giving Henry a hug, Jack took his hand. "Let's go play tee ball," he suggested to help raise Henry's mood. "I'll even let you bat first."

Henry smiled. "Okay. Can I use your bat?" His eyes held hope.

For a moment, Jack considered the question, and though it was on the tip of his tongue to say no, he imagined what his dad would say if he was watching. He nodded. "Sure. Come on."

Together the two boys went off to play.


	23. Chapter 23

**Believe Again**

Pulling up to the apartment complex, the various law enforcement vehicles stopped near the curb and a dozen SWAT officers jumped out. Out of the SUVs Hotch and his team followed. Immediately they donned their bullet proof vests.

"Is your team ready, Agent Hotchner?" the lead SWAT leader asked.

Hotch nodded. "They are."

"We're going to enter at the south entrance and from the east. That should cut off his escape route," the SWAT leader explained the strategy. "If the bastard should be lucky enough to escape, we will have a team on the north entrance and stairwell to block him."

"Sounds like a good plan."

"You do know that I can't let you go in first; it's a safety issue. If you want, you can shadow or tag toward the end."

"I understand. We won't get in the way; we just want to bring this guy in,"

The SWAT leaders eyes softened. "I understand. I have a daughter a few years younger than your agent, and if anything happened to her, I would want the same thing." He looked over the group. "Are you all ready to go in? Barrett, take three men and Agent Prentiss with you. Johnson, you take Agent Morgan and the Director. The rest of you of you follow me."

Stealthily, the teams took their place and prepared to move in on command.  
*****

He never knew what drew his attention to the window, but when he parted the drapes and saw the vehicles parked under his window, he knew he had to escape. Opening the door of his apartment, he looked down the hall to make sure the coast was clear, then ran down the narrow passageway to the far end emergency exit.

Opening the heavy door, he realized at the last moment that he had triggered the alarm. Too late to go back, he ran down the steep stairs until he reached the first floor. Heading toward the exit, he noticed a uniformed officer pass by. Trapped, he opened the door to his left and ducked inside, heading toward the basement/utility room.  
*****

"Hotch, did you hear that?" Morgan's voice came over the ear piece. "Someone set off the fire alarm. All hell's going to break loose. If people start rushing out, we could lose the UNSUB."

"Officer Johnson, has anyone come out the back door?" Hotch inquired.

"That's a negative. All's clear on this side," Johnson's voice replied.

"We go in on three," the leader commanded. "One…two…three!" In the blink of an eye, the small team of SWAT - flanked by the BAU - were inside the apartment complex and taking the various steps to the different levels.

"Stay inside!" the officers commanded the dozens of people who stepped out of their apartments to investigate. "Get back inside!"

The sound of doors slamming was muffled by the loud piercing of the fire alarm. Undeterred, the team headed down the hall to the UNSUB's door. Without knocking, the door was hit with a battering ram. A second later, the small area was filled with SWAT, guns drawn and on high alert.

"Clear!" one SWAT called from the back room.

"Clear!" another repeated as he checked the bathroom.

"Clear!" Johnson shouted. "Stand down!" he ordered.

"Did you get him?" the lead asked over the mic.

"Negative. The subject has vacated the residence. He may still be in the building."

"Leave two members there and search."

"10-4." Johnson turned to Hotch. "Come on. Willard, you stay here."

"Do you think he got far?" Hotch asked as he fell in step with Johnson.

"You tell me, you're the profiler. What do you think this guy's plan is?"

"He doesn't have one. Chances are we surprised him and now he's running on pure adrenaline. Which means that he's going to be even more determined to not be caught."

Johnson nodded. He looked down the hall. "Let's check that fire escape." He snapped his fingers. "Team!" Immediately, SWAT took their positions. Looking at Hotch, Johnson's hand rested on the door handle. He waited. "Now! Go! Go! Go!"  
******

"Team Alpha has the fire escape," Barrett relayed. "Agent Morgan, stay here. Team! Over here! McDonald, you and Foster take the west side of the building; he's hiding somewhere around here."

"What do we do?" Strauss demanded.

"Stay out of our way," Barrett barked back. "Spread out." In a moment Team Bravo was gone.

"What do we do now?" Strauss wondered.

"We look for the UNSUB."

A noise caught their attention.

"Did you hear that?" Strauss asked. Instincts she hadn't used in nearly twenty years went on high alert. Immediately she aimed her weapon toward the far door. "It came from there."

Morgan put his finger to his lips. He motioned for her to follow. Following close behind, Strauss held her breath as Morgan opened the door and stepped inside. He indicated for her to go left and he was to go right. Tiptoeing, she did as she was told.

Cautiously, she scanned the area for anything out of place, while her ears picked up for anything out of the ordinary. Making her way around the cluttered area filled with water heaters and shelves, she tried to make herself inconspicuous.

A dull thudding sound and the clatter of a pistol hitting the concrete made her freeze. Training kept her from shouting out for Morgan, so she made her way toward where the sound had originated. Sweeping the area, she noticed nothing out of place.

"Drop the gun, bitch," a cold, toneless voice ordered.

Spinning around, Strauss saw the figure dressed in jeans and chambray shirt, pointing a gun at her.

"You drop the weapon," she ordered back just as coldly. Standing her ground, she gave no indication that he intimidated her. She had stared down far worse. For an moment she felt that small tingle course thru her body as she realized that she was nearly toe to toe with the bastard who had hurt her agent.

"You don't follow orders real good, do you?" he spat.

"I don't follow orders of rapist/killers," she returned. "This place is surrounded, so I would suggest that you put the gun down before they find you. And since you raped and assaulted a federal agent, they will shoot to kill."

The UNSUB cocked his head. "Was she yours? The blonde with the kid? Yeah," he licked his lips, "she was a sweet piece of ass. Cried as I fucked her brains out. Too bad I didn't get her kid to watch. That would have been priceless."

"Put. The. Gun. Down. Now!" Strauss enunciated each word of her command.

The UNSUB's lip curled in disdain. "Or what? You'll shoot me? From the way your hand is shaking, I'll bet you'll miss. And your boy is out cold, so there goes your back up," he snarled. "Now, bitch, put the gun down or I'm going to have to kill you."

"No," her tone was defiant.

His eyes narrowed at the same moment his finger moved toward the trigger. "First I'm going to shoot you. Then I'm going to fuck your corpse so hard, your spirit will shout in pain! Maybe I'll even let him…" he nodded toward Morgan's prone figure, "…watch before I shoot him, too."

Unsure what exactly alerted her, Strauss only had a microsecond to react. Expertly, she lined her target, then pulled the trigger. Her bullet found its mark dead centre of the UNSUB's forehead. The shock of the bullet splitting his brain caused his nervous system to overreact. His finger contracted in death and pulled the trigger.

Trying to move away, Strauss wasn't fast enough as the bullet sank into her shoulder. Biting out a cry of anguish, she dropped her weapon. "Son of a…" Black and yellow dots danced in front of her eyes. Childbirth had hurt, but it didn't compare to the searing, burning, white hot pain that seemed to put her nerve endings into overdrive. Instinctively, her hand flew to her wound. That action caused her to cry out again.

"Strauss," Morgan spoke as he tried to push himself up from the cold, hard concrete. He saw the blood covering her fingers and blouse. In a flash he forgot his injury and hurried to be beside her.

"That bastard shot me," she stated thru clenched teeth.

"Sit down," Morgan ordered, guiding her to the barrel. "I need EMTs to the basement. Officer down," he spoke into his mic. "I repeat: Officer down!" He turned toward Strauss and applied direct pressure to the wound.

"I'm feeling dizzy," she whispered as a metallic taste filled her mouth. Swallowing quickly, she tried to pull herself together. Damn if she was going to vomit in front of Derek Morgan.

"Deep breaths." Morgan glanced at the corpse lying ten feet away. "You pulled the trigger," he pointed out, trying to keep her mind off the brain searing pain.

"He deserved it." She grimaced. "Damn, it hurts! At least we got a bad guy off the streets," she quipped. "Less paperwork this way."

"Yes you did. I didn't realize you were such a great shot," he complimented.

"I did learn from the best."

The sound of footsteps pounding down the stairs echoed thru the utility room.

"Guess I have to thank him now," she groused.

"Who?" Morgan asked.

"David Rossi."

Before Morgan could reply, the room was full of FBI, SWAT, and EMTs.

"Where is he?" Hotch asked.

Morgan nodded toward the area over his right shoulder. "Over there." As law enforcement secured the crime scene, the agents turned back toward their own who was down.

"Are you alright?" Hotch asked the ashen faced blonde.

"I'll live," she cracked. "But that bastard won't."

"He over powered me, Hotch," Morgan explained. "He hit me from behind. Strauss ordered him to put down his weapon and when he refused, he threatened her, then she shot him. It was self defense."

"Director?" Hotch asked.

"It was just like he said. Don't worry," she gasped as the EMT worked on her, "I'll take responsibility for this."

"Yes."

"Ma'am, can I get you to lie down?" the EMT insisted and led her to the stretcher. An IV was placed in her arm.

"I want a favour, Agent Hotchner," Strauss said as she was prepped for transport. "I want to tell Agent Jareau the news." The oxygen mask was placed over her face.

"I agree."

Making sure the scene was secured, Hotch and the team followed the Director out to the ambulance. Their job was over and they had succeeded. Now the real journey laid ahead.


	24. Chapter 24

**_I've been called the "Queen of the Plot Twist"...I don't know about that - I just write what I see in my head. Then this chapter came along. Remember that just because you read it, doesn't mean it is how it appears. I want to think that this is going to explain how Erin can read Rossi so well...and help propel the story in the direction ilovetvalot originally envisioned._**

**_This chapter is dedicated to Tracia - the strongest woman I know! I envy you and wish I had one-tenth of your talent to tell a story. And don't let anyone get you down because if you jump, I jump...and it wont be pretty watching me in free flight._  
**

**Believe Again**

Erin Strauss tried to make herself comfortable in the hospital bed, but nothing was working in her favour. _The son of a bitch just had to shoot me in the shoulder,_ she groused silently, _no where else…I hope you suffered, you bastard!_

As pain ripped thru her arm, she delicately tried to spoon the soft dessert that was supposed to be her dinner, with her left hand. It was already bad enough that she got shot in her right arm, now she had to eat Jell-O with her opposite hand. Twice she thought she had the small cube, only to have it fall off and land on the table and her lap.

"Damnit!" she cursed. A knock interrupted her rant. "Come in," she called out to the visitor.

Dave stepped inside the room, a bouquet of flowers in his grasp. "Hello, Erin," he greeted. "How are you?"

"I got shot; how do you think I am?" she bit back and resumed the search for the soft cube. "There you are!" She threw the offensive bite on the tray, then leaned back. "What?"

"I see that you're your usual sunshine and lollipops self," Dave observed with a twinkle in his eye.

"Is there a reason for this visit or did you come to gloat?" she asked wearily.

Dave nodded toward the chair. "May I sit down?"

"Sure." She shrugged at his question. "The doctor said I should be able to leave in a couple of days. It wasn't as bad as they thought, but each bullet wound runs the risk of infection…so, they want to play it safe."

"Makes sense. What did Phillip think?"

"What Phillip always thinks when something like this happens: he wants me to retire. I take a bad guy off the streets and save the taxpayers money, and he wants me to retire." She awkwardly twirled the spoon with her left hand. "I'm going to be home for a couple of weeks to recuperate…I am sure I can get him to change his mind."

"I may have to send him flowers," Dave remarked tongue in cheek.

"So, did you come to rub in the fact that I forgot to duck and weave?" She tried again to spoon her food - and failed. "Damnit!"

"Need some help?" he asked with concern. Even after twenty years, there was still a special place in his heart for Erin…even if on most days she was a complete pain in his ass. Seeing her lying in a hospital bed just a few doors down from JJ hit home how close he had come to losing women he cared about.

Erin shot him a look. "What? Don't tell me that you're getting pleasure from watching me make a fool of myself?"

Dave stood up and took the utensil from her hand. "Erin, for once, shut up and let me take charge, okay?" Gingerly, he held the bowl with his broken hand while using his good one to spoon a serving. "Here." He waited for Erin to open her mouth. "Better?"

Erin rolled her eyes. "I'm on a liquid diet, David; nothing is better." She waited for the next spoonful. Swallowing quickly, she looked at him. "Don't we make quite the pair?"

"What do you mean?" Dave's hand paused.

"Me, in this bed - helpless - while you spoon feed me. It's almost twisted." She gave a wry smile at the situation and what it represented.

"Not so much," he replied. "Reminds me of that weekend in Nantucket. You didn't mind it so much then."

"I also wasn't lying in a hospital bed recovering from a gunshot wound inflicted by a rapist." She swallowed the next bite. "And I didn't know you as well back then as I do now."

"You certainly know how to wound a guy." Dave raised his eyebrow in mock sarcasm. "You told me that you wouldn't mind me taking care of you forever." His lip twitched from the memory.

"It was the fever talking." She shifted uncomfortably as he spooned another bite.

"Touché, Erin." His brown eyes danced with mischief.

"Always the arrogant bastard."

"Not arrogant," he corrected. "Jealous because I wasn't the one to sink the bullet in that bastard's skull." He scraped the last of the Jell-o. Erin shook her head in refusal. "Just one more bite…for me."

"You really are enjoying this," she muttered as she chewed. "How is Jennifer?"

"Sleeping. I think the pain medication they gave for her broken ribs finally kicked in. Doctor says she can leave to go home by the end of the week," Dave relayed and set the spoon down on the tray. "Thirsty?" He picked up the container of iced tea.

"Thank you, but I can do it…"

"Let me pamper you, Erin." He held the cup so she could sip thru the straw.

"Practice for when you move Jennifer and Henry into your place?" Erin stated. "I know about your plans…"

"And?"

"I can't quite say that I approve, but…"

"I'm sure you have a point, Erin, so get to it." Dave set the cup down and waited patiently for her reply.

"Oh, sit down; you make me nervous." She waited for him to get settled before continuing. "I was going to say that I don't necessarily approve of your plan…from a Director's point of view, but from a woman's point of view…" She paused to choose her words carefully. "I think you're doing the admirable thing by helping her."

"You're not going to write me up for fraternization?" he challenged.

"Should I?" she retorted. "I keep my ear to the wall when it comes to the BAU…I keep it even closer when there is scuttlebutt about you. I know that there isn't anything between you and Agent Jareau."

"How do you know? I could have gotten good at covering my tracks," he replied evenly.

"You're not that good because your reputation still precedes you." She closed her eyes as a wave of pain coursed quickly thru her body.

"Are you alright?" Dave asked.

Erin nodded but her lips were puckered in pain. "I'll be fine. The meds are wearing off." She pressed the button to release a dose into her system and took a couple of deep breaths. "As I was saying, your reputation precedes you. And I know that if you and Agent Jareau were involved, no matter how much I threatened, you would have gone after that bastard and killed him with your bare hands."

Dave remained silent as Erin continued.

"I also know that if you and she had been involved, Will La Montange would have been out of the picture a long time ago." Erin forced herself to keep her eyes open. "If I could, I would have done the same thing."

"What?"

"Moved her in with me. She doesn't need to go back to that hell hole filled with bad memories," her words came out slurred from medication and exhaustion.

Dave pulled the blanket up to ward off the chill. "Time to rest," he murmured.

"I never thanked you," Erin whispered.

Dave smiled. "For what?"

"Teaching me how to shoot. I did what you showed me." She smiled as sleep took hold. "You'll be happy to know that I didn't pretend he was you; I just wanted his sorry ass dead."

Dave waited for a few seconds to make sure she was asleep before he stood up. "You did good, Erin." He patted her hand gently. Then he left the room.


	25. Chapter 25

**Believe Again**

Dave pulled his SUV up to the curb of Jessica's house and threw the engine in park. "Are you okay?" he asked JJ.

She gave him a nod as she looked nervously at the house. "Will he remember me?" she whispered, tears filled her blue eyes.

"You have been gone longer than this," Dave gently reminded her, "and he didn't forget you. Garcia has popped in to check on him, and he seems to be thriving. Didn't he make you a picture?"

"He did." JJ patted her purse that held the precious picture that was never going to hang on her fridge. The apartment wasn't hers any more, and now there was nothing she could hang the piece of paper with the crooked heart and stick figures haphazardly drawn by the hand of her three year old son.

"He talks about you all the time…at least that is what Jessica has told Hotch. Henry loves you, Jen, and he misses you," Dave said softly.

"He thinks I've been out catching the bad guy," she muttered wryly, her hand absently touched the ace bandage around her wrist.

"You have," Dave replied.

JJ shook her head. "I haven't been out catching the bad guy," she contradicted bitterly at the lie she was going to have to tell her son. "I've been lounging around in a hospital bed," a tinge of anger coated her words.

"You weren't 'lounging', Jen, you were recuperating," Dave corrected.

"While the rest of the team risked their lives to catch…" She paused to search for an appropriate word "…him," she finished.

"They were doing their job…the same you would have done for any of them. Henry doesn't need to know the truth, he just needs to see his momma." Dave started to rest a hand on JJ's shoulder, but stopped at the last moment.

"What if he asks about how I look?" JJ whispered fearfully, suddenly self conscious of her appearance.

"He'll be so happy to see you that he won't notice, but if he does, you'll think of something. Now, let's go get your son." Dave opened his door and stepped out.

JJ unfastened her seatbelt. Inside the two story white home at the end of the brick path was her son. She needed to get him and hold him in her arms again. She opened the door and joined Dave on the sidewalk.

"Ready?" he asked. JJ nodded. Together they walked up the path to the front door. Dave pressed the doorbell. The chime sounded and a few seconds later the door opened.

"MOMMY!" Henry shouted. His face lit up before he threw himself into JJ's arms. "Mommy, you're back!" he cried happily and pressed dozens of kisses on her face.

JJ held her son tightly. He smelled so good…he felt so good. "I'm back, Henry." The tears slipped from her eyes as she tried to melt Henry into her.

"I missed you," Henry said. He pulled back to look at his mother. "Mommy, what happened to your face?" His blue eyes were wide with fear. He reached out to touch the yellowish bruises on JJ's cheek. "Does it hurt?" he breathed.

JJ's hand shook as she brushed a tear away. "No, honey, it doesn't hurt."

"Did you fight the bad guy?" he asked. JJ nodded…reluctantly. "Did you win?" He waited with breathless anticipation for her answer.

JJ hesitated, then looked at Dave, then at Jessica, who had walked into the living room as soon as she had heard Henry's shout.

"Umm…" She searched for an answer that would satisfy him. "We…we won," she choked out.

Henry hugged her tightly. "I knew you would, Mommy. You always win."

From the doorway, Jessica took in the scene unfolding before her eyes. Quietly she took in the bruises and cuts on JJ's face and the bandage on her wrist. She was far from being a profiler, but it didn't escape her attention the way JJ hesitated when Henry threw himself into her arms. Though they had only met twice before, Jessica could notice the difference in attitude and body language of the blonde she had once been reserved toward.

It didn't escape her how JJ's smile failed to meet her blue eyes…eyes that were now dull and red rimmed. Her heart immediately went out to JJ as she noticed the pained expression when she hugged Jack, who had run up to greet his "Aunt JJ".

"How are you doing?" Jessica finally asked.

JJ looked down at the ground. "I…I'm fine. A little bit of a sprain, but the doctor says it should be okay." Awkward silence filled the room as the adults knew that a sprained wrist was not the inquiry.

Jessica stepped closer. "Henry, why don't you go get your bag and toys? Jack, go help him, okay? I need to talk to Miss Jareau." Happily, the two boys ran up the stairs. As their feet faded, Jessica spoke again.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

JJ nodded. "Yes."

"Where are you going to be staying? Do you need a place?" Jessica queried.

"I…"

"She and Henry are going to be staying with me during her recovery," Dave finished.

"That's good." Jessica laid a comforting hand on JJ's. "If you want, you could leave Henry here for a few more days. He gets along with Jack and the other kids…and it might help you in recovery."

JJ involuntarily tensed from Jessica's gesture. "Henry needs me." Her lip trembled.

"I understand, but it might be too much of a burden right now," Jessica pointed out matter of fact.

"I'll be there to help her," Dave pointed out. "JJ won't be overwhelmed."

"Still…he is three and you've been hurt…" Jessica trailed off. "I discussed it with Tom, and we can keep Henry for as long as you need us to."

"I can handle it, Jessica," Dave replied.

"But he's three and she's been thru hell."

"I am on medical leave with my hand," he reminded her, "and Henry won't be a burden."

"I didn't say he would be a burden," Jessica corrected. "I'm just worried that with everything that has happened, and all that is going to go into recovering, you might want a little more time to yourself."

"I thank you for the offer, Jessica, but I have it under control," Dave commented.

"I'm still here, and I need my son," JJ spoke up. "And I'm going to take him home with me." Her words left no room for argument.

Immediately chastised by JJ's tone, Jessica took a step back, her face softened. "Are you sure, Jennifer?" Her worried look was directed at Dave.

"He's my son and I want to take care of him," JJ stated in a cold tone. The sound of footsteps on the stairs interrupted any further conversation.

"I is ready, Mommy!" Henry announced happily.

"Did you get everything?" JJ faked the cheerful tone.

"Yep." Henry held up his mini go bag. "I put it all in here. Just like you taught me. Can we go home now?"

"Yes." JJ nodded. "Thank you, Jessica…for all you've done."

"The offer still stands…if you need me to watch Henry again…"

"I'll…think about it. But I probably won't." JJ grabbed Henry's hand. "Come on." She opened the door and guided Henry down the porch steps.

"Dave…" Jessica began, "…I know that you and I don't see eye to eye…"

"Because of Hotch."

"Yeah," she agreed. "But this…Jennifer…she was hurt badly? I mean, Aaron didn't go into details, but I can tell…"

Dave nodded. "Yes." He didn't elaborate, he didn't have to.

"I don't think she's up to taking care of Henry," Jessica pointed out.

"Jessica…"

"I've had the flu and barely could keep up with my two." She paused and weighed her words. "I'm just saying that you have dealt with this…situation, and you know that she's going to have a breaking point."

"I'm aware of that being a possibility."

"The offer to watch Henry still stands…no matter what."

Dave kept his face expressionless, but he did give a slight nod. "Thank you. I'll call you if I need you."

"Take care of her."

"I will," he promised, then followed JJ and Henry to the SUV.

Standing in the doorway, Jessica watched as Dave helped secure Henry into his car seat, then helped JJ inside before closing the door. She waited until the SUV pulled away from the curb and disappeared.

"Aunt Jessica," Jack asked as he suddenly appeared beside her.

"Yes."

"Is Aunt JJ okay?"

"Yes," Jessica lied quickly.

"I didn't get to tell Henry 'good-bye'," he said sadly. "And he forgot his Iron Man toy." He held up the plastic action figurine.

Jessica wrapped her arm around her nephew. "It's okay, he'll be back."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded sadly. "Yes. Very sure."


	26. Chapter 26

**Believe Again**

Dave set the go bag down on the porch and searched for his keys to unlock the door. Once inside, he quickly disarmed the code. As Henry ran inside the large foyer, JJ hesitated in the entrance. Her eyes darted around with fear and apprehension.

Dave noticed her hesitation. "Jennifer? Are you okay?" JJ opened her mouth to speak, then closed it. "It's okay," he encouraged. Slowly he reached out his hand. JJ looked at Dave's gesture.

"It's okay," he repeated. "I promise."

Giving him a weak smile, JJ took his hand and walked inside. "You have a nice home," she complimented in a neutral tone.

"Mommy! Mommy!" Henry shouted and ran toward her.

"Henry, use your inside voice," she reprimanded gently. The little boy's forehead furrowed. "Now tell me what you need to say."

"Uncle Dave has a doggy!" he cried excitedly and bounced up and down.

"I know."

"What's his name?"

"Mudgie," Dave supplied quickly.

"Does he bite?" Henry asked. His eyes were wide.

"Only bad guys," Dave answered with a smile. "Do you want to play with him?"

"Can I? Please?" Henry pleaded. "I won't hurt him."

JJ shook her head. "I don't think…"

"It will just be in the backyard, Jennifer. Nothing can happen to him."

"You go with me, Mommy." Henry tugged on her hand. "Come on." He pulled harder.

"I…" Her first instinct was to protect her child, but the thought of going outside almost made her choke with fear.

Dave saw her hesitation. "There is a porch where you can sit and watch him. Give me just a minute to set the alarm to bypass." Turning around, he punched the code. "It's set. Let's go."

JJ closed her eyes. "Okay," she gave in. Henry pulled her thru the house to the double French doors.

"Look, Mommy," he pointed out. "Uncle Dave has a swing with a slide."

Her eyes swung to the older agent. "Where did that come from?" she wondered.

"I bought it for Henry," Dave replied smoothly and opened the door to let Henry outside.

"You shouldn't have," her tone was accusing.

"He needs something to keep him entertained. I made sure that it's low enough to the ground that he can't get hurt."

JJ stepped out on the porch into the sunshine. Shading her eyes, she watched Henry run around the yard with Mudgie.

"It's not that, Dave," she sighed. "You're spoiling him."

"And that is a bad thing?" Dave's head cocked in question to her statement.

JJ turned to face him. "It is. I should be able to give this to him."

"Then consider it an early Christmas present." He watched the conflict of emotions cross JJ's beautiful face. "He needs a toy to keep him occupied while you recover."

"I am recovered," she returned.

"I meant that while you do your rehab, Henry can get some exercise and he can help wear down Mudgie," Dave amended quickly.

"The best rehab I can have is to get back to work as soon as possible," her tone was tight.

"That won't be possible for at least forty-five days, and you know it. The rules state that you cannot return without a doctor's clearance."

"It's not fair; Hotch came back sooner than his suggested time off," she argued.

"It was different circumstances. His injuries were…physical."

JJ's jaw hardened. "So, I'm stuck here…with you?"

"For the moment. Strauss put me out for a couple of weeks due to my stupidity, and since I have nowhere else to go, I guess you are stuck with me," he said lightly.

JJ looked around the beautiful gardens, but all she saw was concrete walls preventing her escape. A spark of fear started in her belly and slowly spread thru her body. Her first reaction was to run, escape, to get away as fast as she could, but the sensible part found a way in and helped to calm her down.

Taking a deep breath, she tried to hold the fear at bay…for Henry's sake.

"How long are we going to be here?" she asked.

Dave considered his response. He watched as Henry ran around with a stick in his hand with Mudgie running behind. The joyful barking and belly laughs filled the air. Something felt so right, but he couldn't say that without causing JJ to turn and run. And he could see that she was considering it.

"As long as you want," he replied finally. "I won't hold you here against your will, but I hope that you and Henry find that you like it here and want to stay for a while."

The anger that gripped her was suddenly gone as she turned her head to look at the little blonde boy rolling on the ground trying to avoid doggy kisses. Tears suddenly filled her eyes. She tried to blink them back, but they ran down her cheeks.

"He is happy," she observed.

"He is," Dave agreed.

"I…" She licked her lips and tasted the salty tears. With a shaky hand, she tried to wipe her cheeks clear. "He deserves happiness."

"I will do everything I can to make sure you and he have happiness," Dave vowed solemnly. He took JJ's hand in his and squeezed gently. "Relax, Jennifer, and let me take care of you and Henry."

"I should be doing this." Her tears flowed faster.

Dave nodded. "And you will. But for now, let me do this." He stepped closer and looked deep in her eyes. "Let me take this from you."

JJ shook her head. "I can't. It's not yours."

"When we were partners out in the field, we trusted one another," Dave reminded her. "You have had my back and I've had yours. As a team we share everything. What affects you, affects me."

"Yes."

"Let me take this burden from you. The little things like swings and toys…let me worry about that; you need to rest," he said.

JJ hesitated. She wanted to say no and that what they shared out in the field had nothing on what she was going thru. But there was something so comforting in his brown eyes that all she could do was nod.

"Okay," she sighed and dropped her shoulders.

Dave gave her a small grin. Reaching into his coat pocket, he pulled out a handkerchief and gently dabbed her cheeks.

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

JJ sniffled. "Are we going out?"

Dave chuckled. "I was going to cook."

That brought a smile to her pale face. "You cook?" she inquired innocently.

"You wound me, Cara," he said dramatically with his hand over his heart. "I know how to cook. After all, I am Italian."

"Honestly, that doesn't surprise me. You are so talented on so many levels….that you can cook - I'm surprised some woman hasn't snatched you up." Her smile grew a little wider.

"I like that," he said.

"What?"

"Your smile." He walked her over to the deck chairs and sat her down. "Sit here, Cara, and watch your son while I make dinner," he ordered gently.

"What are you going to make?" she asked but her eyes stayed on Henry who was pushing himself on the swing.

"A surprise," he said with an enigmatic smile. "Do you want anything to drink?"

JJ thought for a moment. "Do you have iced tea?"

Dave nodded. "I do." He looked down at his watch. "It's almost time for your pain pills. I'll bring both of those out." He started to walk away, then stopped. "Will you be alright out here?"

JJ swallowed hard. "Yes…I think so."

"Hi, Mommy!" Henry shouted from the top of the slide. "Watch me!"

JJ started to jump up from the chair. "Henry!" she called out as her heart almost stopped. In an instant, the child was down the slide and running around again. Trying to catch her breath, she leaned back.

"He's okay," she chanted. "He's okay."

Dave started to reach out to touch her shoulder, but he pulled back at the last minute. "He is. I'll go get your drink. Shout if you need me."

JJ nodded with half interest. Her eyes locked on Henry, and never moved.


	27. Chapter 27

**Believe Again**

Dave glanced around the cafeteria and tried to hold down the fear he was feeling. His first time away from the house since JJ and Henry had come to live with him and Mudgie, but he wasn't sure if it was the wisest move on his part. Picking up the glass of iced tea, he sipped, then set it down.

"How are things with JJ?" Hotch asked carefully. He could read the older agent better than either one cared to admit, and he was definitely picking up on something.

Dave shrugged a shoulder noncommittally. "Good."

"She didn't want to come with you today?"

"Garcia showed up. Something about 'girl talk'. I've been married too many times to know what that meant. So, I left. Besides, Jennifer needs another woman to talk to." His smile was wry and he picked at his food with only half interest.

"What's wrong?" Hotch pushed the subject and set down his sandwich. Something was amiss with his friends, and he needed to find out what. Deep down, he braced himself for the worst.

"Nothing," Dave admitted.

"What do you mean 'nothing'?"

"As in 'not a damn thing is wrong', Hotch. She's…" he searched for the right words, "…almost normal it's scary. I can't figure it out. I think she may be compartmentalizing the whole thing."

"Compartmentalizing is normal…under the circumstances," Hotch admitted encouragingly.

"Compartmentalizing is one thing, but this…I don't know. She's okay during the day, but at night, I can hear her wandering the house checking the windows and locks. Other than going outside in the backyard, she won't leave the house."

"That's normal. She's trying to find her answers and make sense of things."

"I understand that." Dave sighed. He pressed his fingers to his temple. "It's just…I've tried talking to her, but she changes the subject. She hasn't even asked about Will."

"That part I can understand." The thought of Will La Montange still left a bad taste in Hotch's mouth. He kept his ear to the wall and knew that the Cajun bastard had gone back to New Orleans and returned to his job.

"What's really bothering you, Dave?"

"She's going to break, Hotch. I don't know when, but she is." There was bleakness in Dave's brown eyes.

Hotch looked down at the table, then at the man across the table. "People deal with trauma differently. There is no textbook guideline for the five stages of grief. She needs time."

"I feel like I'm walking on cracked glass."

"Has she had any nightmares?"

Dave shook his head. "Not since that episode in the hospital." He thought for a moment. "You don't think she has and is hiding it from me?"

Hotch's expression was sympathetic. "I don't know. Of all the agents on the team, JJ is the enigma. She denies it, but she is better at compartmentalizing than any of us combined," he pointed out reluctantly.

"I know about her sister's suicide," Dave admitted.

"She told you?" Hotch was surprised that JJ would confide that deep dark secret.

"No. I read it in her folder. I wanted to find out more about her before I decided to take on her healing. She never told anyone."

"She told me," Hotch confessed.

Dave was taken aback. "She did? When?"

"Years ago when she first came to the BAU. She confided about it and showed me the necklace she always wore. I don't know how I missed that information in her agent profile."

"So, she's learned to bury things deep and move on." Worry creased Dave's features. His palms began to sweat. "This isn't going to end well, Hotch. She's going to break…when she does, it might destroy her."

"She has the team," he reminded gently. "She has you."

"That might not be enough. Her sister, then Will - who she knew had to be cheating on her - and then…this."

"What about Henry? How is he holding up?"

Dave gave a short, mirthful laugh. "He's a trooper - a chip off the old block. He's completely in love with Mudgie and he loves the toys and backyard. But I can tell that he is sensing something is wrong with his momma."

"Has he said anything?"

"Not yet. How did you deal with Jack…and Haley? What did you tell him?" Dave inquired.

Hotch paused. "The truth…to a point. I told him that a bad guy hurt Haley and she went to heaven, but I made sure that the bad guy would never hurt anyone ever again."

"And he believed you?" Dave looked in surprise at Hotch. Though he had had hundreds of hours of negotiations training and psychology on every level from child to behavioral, nothing had taught him how to deal with a child whose parent was the survivor of a brutal crime.

"He did."

Dave looked at his hands. "I'm not sure about what to do if he asks. I'm usually the one catching the bad guy and then leaving others to pick up the pieces to move on," he stated. "I never dreamt of being on this side of the aisle."

"No one does, Dave. But if Henry asks, short and simple is the best way to approach the topic," Hotch advised.

"I'll remember that."

"Are you going to need some more time off?"

"I have my annual leave coming up, but I haven't written anything, so I'm not going to do a book tour."

Hotch picked up his forgotten sandwich. "Maybe you should just take the time and relax. I'm sure that Strauss would have no problem moving the dates around to accommodate you."

"Just tell her that I'm going to be out of her hair that much longer and I'm sure she'll sign off on it before you can take the papers out of the folder," Dave quipped.

"She's changed since the shooting. She's almost a brand new Erin Strauss." Hotch took a bite of the roast beef sub. "She smiled and said good morning to me, yesterday."

"I didn't know gun shots could cause concussions," Dave joked dryly.

"Whatever it did, it has made things a little easier in the BAU." Hotch chewed and swallowed. "I'll put your papers in when I get back to the office."

"Are you going to borrow from Swann's team?"

"He owes me since I gave him Morgan for that case when he was short handed," Hotch reminded. "It will work out. You just worry about getting yourself healed and being there for JJ."

Dave picked up his fork. "I will be there for her," he promised. "I won't let her down." His eyes burned with determination.

"I believe you, Dave." Hotch truly did, but his heart wasn't light. "It's her, you are going to have to make believe."

Dave nodded slowly. Silently, the two men finished their lunch.


	28. Chapter 28

**Believe Again**

Sitting in the waiting room of the hospital, JJ tried to focus on the painting on the wall. As long as she kept her thoughts focused on anything but the pending results, she could keep moving forward. But with each second that passed, her resolve kept weakening as she felt the walls begin to close in. Subconsciously her hand went to her throat and played with the gold necklace. The action was not lost on Pen.

"What's wrong, Jayje?" she asked softly.

"Nothing," JJ replied, but her eyes darted around the room. That fear was creeping in and she needed to get out…fast!

Pen put the magazine down and leaned over to grab JJ's hand. "It's okay," she assured.

"I…I don't want to be here," JJ said and tried to swallow the fear down.

Pen's gripped tightened. "It's okay, Jayje; I'm not going to leave you." She watched as JJ's eyes jumped around the room. She knew that caged look. She had had that same look after the shooting. During the recovery when there were moments she thought she couldn't face another day, the team had been there for her with love and support. Now she had the chance to return the kindness.

"Just breathe," Pen encouraged. "Deep breaths and focus on right now."

"I want to go home." JJ's voice was small but her request was large.

"We will…as soon as we hear what the doctor has to say."

JJ brushed a stray tear away with the back of her hand. "What if…?" she couldn't finish her thought.

"Everything is going to be alright," Pen said confidently with a smile. "Let's not worry about anything until we know for sure."

JJ took a shaky breath. "Okay?"

A knock interrupted them as the door opened.

"Jennifer Jareau?" the female doctor inquired hesitantly.

JJ straightened up. "Yes."

The doctor closed the door. "Nice to meet you. I'm Doctor Petersen. How are you today?"

"Nervous," JJ admitted. "I'm here for my results."

Sitting down on the stool, Dr Petersen opened the folder and quickly scanned the sheets. "The good news is that the tests came back negative for pregnancy and any STDs." Another sheet was flipped. "The X-Ray shows that your ribs are healing nicely and we should be able to take the bandage off in a couple of weeks. How is your breathing?"

"It still hurts."

Dr Petersen jotted down the response. "That's normal. They were cracked pretty good."

"What about the HIV test?" JJ hedged.

"That too, was negative, but we are still going to need you to come back in for a three, six, and twelve month check up." The doctor jotted down her request. She looked up at JJ. "Just as a precaution," Dr. Petersen added as an afterthought. She closed the folder and stood up. "How have you been feeling, Jennifer?"

JJ looked at Dr. Petersen, then at her hands. "I've been…" She licked her lips. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure? How is your appetite?"

JJ shrugged. "Okay…I guess. I don't have much of an appetite."

"What about sleeping? Are you having nightmares?" Dr. Petersen inquired gently.

"I…sometimes," JJ admitted reluctantly.

"I see…" Dr. Petersen cleared her throat and turned toward Pen. "May I have a minute alone with Jennifer?"

Pen hesitated for a moment before replying, "Of course. I'll be right outside the door," she told JJ as the fear began to creep into her best friend's eyes. JJ nodded. Quietly the door closed behind Pen.

"I know what happened to you, Jennifer," Dr. Petersen began softly. "I know what you went through." She watched JJ's face for any sign of emotion that didn't happen. "Do you want to talk about it?"

JJ began fidgeting. "There is nothing to talk about. It happened. It's over."

"And you survived," Dr. Petersen encouraged. "But you are hiding something."

"I'm not hiding anything."

"Have you talked to anyone? I read that you are with the FBI and I know that they have therapists…"

"I don't need a therapist," JJ replied defensively.

"I also read that you are a trained profiler. You are good at reading people. But I'm guessing that you are also good at hiding your emotions."

JJ fought to blink back the tears. "I'm not hiding," she contradicted. "I'm just…" her brain raced to find an excuse, "…I'm not sleeping well."

"Nightmares?"

"No." But her eyes didn't meet the doctor's. "With my job…you see, we are always traveling…I get my rest when I can. And I am the mother of a three year old."

"Is your husband helping you?"

"I'm…I'm a…a single parent," she stammered.

"I see. Are you staying by yourself?" Dr. Petersen asked.

"I'm with a friend."

"That's good." Dr Petersen sighed. "I'm not happy that you aren't sleeping." She turned toward the table against the wall. Picking up her pen, she scribbled on the notepad. "I'm writing you a prescription for Ambien." She tore off the sheet and handed it to JJ. "That should help you get some rest."

"Thank you," JJ whispered.

"I want to see you in a week. Make sure you make the appointment at the front desk." She grabbed JJ's folder.

"Are we done?"

Dr. Petersen nodded. "Yes we are." She knocked on the door. "You may come back in now," she called out to Pen. "I want to see you back here in a week," she repeated. Swiftly, she left Pen and JJ alone.

"Are you okay?" Pen asked.

"Yeah," JJ nodded. "She gave me something to help me sleep."

"That's good," Pen said, but her words were hollow. She glanced at her watch. "Do you want to go to lunch? I'm free for the rest of the day…maybe do some shopping? Get something for Henry?"

"Dave's been spoiling him," JJ said and left it there.

Pen smiled. "Well, then, maybe we can go to lunch?"

"No."

"Aww, come on, Jayje," she pleaded. "You know that small little café down on Truman…"

"No," JJ was more forceful.

"Take out?" Pen suggested as an alternative.

"I want to go home," JJ stated flatly. Pen started to argue, then thought better of it.

"Okay. Let's get your prescription, then go home."

With a shrug of her shoulders, JJ left the room with Pen following closely behind.


	29. Chapter 29

**Believe Again**

Derek took the seat opposite of Pen. They had a few moments before they were expected in the War Room and he needed to see his friend.

"Good morning, angel face," he greeted with a big grin.

Pen kept her eyes on the computer screen. She couldn't have cared less what was on the plasma screens, but she had to concentrate on anything but Derek.

"Morning," she replied back.

Scanning her face and body movements - or rather lack of - he knew that something was wrong.

"Talk to me, Mama," he encouraged.

"There's nothing to talk about," she answered flatly.

"There's nothing or _nothing_? Because my sensors are picking up that you have a lot on your mind that you need to unload." He cocked his head to study her.

"And you think that you are the residential therapist?" Her eyes followed the same line three times before she realized that she hadn't clicked the mouse.

"I am a profiler. That's a couple of steps below a therapist," he joked. "What's that word for people who can pick up on feelings?"

"Empath." Damn, her eyes were blinding with tears. She wouldn't cry, she ordered herself. She had cried all night and now she had to work.

"I'm feeling that you have something you want to tell me…"

Pen spun around. "What, Derek? What exactly am I supposed to tell you?" she fired out hotly.

"What's bothering you."

"And you think that just opening up and telling you what I know will make everything better?" Her eyes flashed with anger and hurt.

"Considering the feelings I'm picking up, it can't hurt."

"Oh really?"

"Really. I can tell that you are in pain," he stated evenly.

"You know, Derek, I appreciate it…and if it was any other day, I would spill my heart and soul to you, but not right now. I have too much on my plate to deal with being interrogated by you." She grabbed the folder on the desk and stood up. Marching smartly across the floor, she pulled open one of the storage drawers and blindly tried to file the information.

"I wasn't trying to interrogate you, Mama," Derek corrected softly. "I know that you took JJ to her appointment yesterday, and I was wondering…"

Pen slammed the drawer closed. "How she is? If she's 'normal'?" She thought for a moment. "Is she different? Has she compartmentalized everything and is running on fumes? That she's having nightmares and isn't telling anyone? Is _that_ what you want to know?"

"I…" Derek had been caught off guard by her outburst.

"Because the answer is: yes, she looks like hell because she hasn't slept in days…maybe even weeks. She lied to the doctor about being okay and is taking Ambien to help sleep. She wanders the house at night and worries if that bastard is going to come after her again. She hates Will. She wonders if she is a good mother anymore. She resents Rossi, but she likes that he's helping out but she just wants to get in the car and drive far away. But she can't…she can't because," Pen sniffed back the tears that clogged her throat and eyes, "…because she's too afraid to leave the house. There! Happy?"

Derek stood up and walked over to where Pen stood. He didn't try to hold or touch her, but he made sure he was close enough to lend support.

"She told you all of this?" he asked gently.

"You think you're the only profiler in the room? Just because I'm on the computer all day doesn't mean that I can't read people. Women can pick on feelings and emotions that men can't. And it wasn't what she said, it was what she didn't."

"The thing with Will…?"

"She hasn't mentioned him. I told her that I found his address in New Orleans and if she wanted, Hotch knew a lawyer who could go after him for child support. But she changed the subject."

"And the parenting thing?"

"She hasn't been sleeping. Every time she mentions Henry, she starts crying." Pen wiped the tears off her cheek with the back of her hand.

"This must be hard for her. What is Rossi doing to help?" Derek wondered.

"Whatever she will let him do…which isn't much. She's not eating…and she didn't have much weight to lose to begin with…"

Derek weighed everything the love of his life had relayed. Slowly he analyzed it for any clue he could use to help her.

"Who hurt you?"

"What do you mean?" she asked defensively.

"I know that caged look, Penelope. I know that stance when someone has gotten too close or asked the wrong question," Derek said. His voice was full of compassion and understanding.

Her eyes darted around. He was too close. She needed to escape. Fast! "I…" A knock on the door interrupted her. Ashley pushed open the door and poked her head inside.

"I hate to bother you, but Hotch wanted me to gather the team up. Looks like we have a bad case in Philly."

Derek glanced up at her. "We'll be there in a minute." Ashley nodded and closed the door. "My question is still out there, Baby Girl. And you know I'm persistent."

"Derek…"

He crooked a finger under her chin. "But I'm not going to push you. When you're ready to talk, you will. Until then, know that I love you."

Pen smiled softly. "I know. I love you, too"

"Now let's go catch another bad guy."

He waited until she left the room, then he closed the door behind them.  
*****

"Good morning, Henry," Dave greeted from his place at the kitchen table. Lowering the newspaper, he took in the little boy with spiky blonde hair and eyes puffy from sleep. In his arms was a Pooh bear. Behind him stood Mudgie on full alert.

"Hi, Uncle Dave," he replied with a yawn.

"Are you hungry? Do you want cereal or eggs?"

Henry pulled out the chair and climbed on to the seat. "Cereal. Please." Setting his bear on the table, he watched as Dave prepared his breakfast. "Is Mommy coming down to eat?" he asked innocently. The black Lab took his place at the door way to make sure his pets were protected.

Dave didn't pause as he poured the sugary confection and then added milk. Methodically, he placed the items back in their respective places.

"Mommy is sleeping," he finally replied. He set the bowl in front of the child.

"Is she tired?"

"Why do you ask?"

Henry quickly spooned the food in his mouth. "Because I hear her cry," he mentioned between bites.

Dave waited a full minute before replying. "Your mommy cries?"

"I hear her. I think she is afraid of the dark." Henry bent over and sucked the remaining milk thru the built in straw on the bowl. Finished, he gave a triumphant "Ah!" and sat back. "Finished!"

"Do you want to do anything today?" Dave asked.

"No." He shook his head. "I wanna stay here."

"Why?" Dave was intrigued.

Henry shrugged his little shoulders. "Because Mommy needs me," he stated matter of fact. "Can I go watch TV?"

"Sure, Slugger. Just keep it low."

"I will. I promise." Grabbing the bear, Henry ran out of the kitchen to the living room. The sound of Mudgie's nails on the hardwood floor faded as the pair went down the hall.

With a sigh, Dave picked up the empty bowl and placed it in the sink. Henry was going to be occupied for at least an hour. That was enough time to find out what he wanted to know.

Lifting the carafe, he poured the hot coffee into a mug and added the condiments. It wasn't much, but one way or another, he was going to get JJ to talk.


	30. Chapter 30

**Believe Again**

Dave knocked softly on the door. Not hearing a response, he turned the knob and stepped inside the spacious bedroom. Half expecting JJ to be sleeping, he was surprised to see her sitting in the chair by the window.

Softly he approached her as to not startle her from the reverie she was in.

"JJ?"

JJ turned to face him. For a moment, her face was blank. Then recognition. "Hi, Dave," she greeted but her voice was flat.

"I thought you might be sleeping."

"I woke up early," she lied. She turned her head to look out the window.

Dave extended the mug, but she didn't take it. "I thought you might like a cup of coffee. It's how you usually take it - cream with two sugars."

"No thanks."

He thinned his lips in thought. "I was hoping that we could go out today." He waited. "Maybe the park. Somewhere for Henry to run around…"

"He has the backyard."

"With other kids."

"No." She shook her head.

"He needs to get out."

"No."

"So do you." He stepped closer.

"I said no." Her head swung to look at him. "Just leave me alone."

"I can't do that," he returned.

"I didn't invite you in."

"This is my home," he pointed out. "So technically, this makes it my room."

"You gave it to me."

Dave nodded. "I did. But it was supposed to help you recuperate; not hide yourself inside."

JJ crossed her arms over her breasts. "I'm not hiding."

Expelling a deep breath of frustration, Dave placed the mug on the dresser. "What do you call it, Jennifer? You don't go out. You don't call on Emily or Penelope. You haven't even called work to find out if they still want you or if you even have a job."

"I'm on medical leave," she said flatly.

"You still have to touch base. It also doesn't mean you have to crawl into a corner and die. You need to get out."

JJ stood up from the chair and glared at Dave. "And you need to stop telling me what to do!"

"Some one needs to. What you're doing isn't healthy…for you or Henry!"

"Leave my son out of this! How dare you?" she spat angrily.

"No, Jennifer, I'm bringing Henry into this - whether you like it or not! He is the reason I'm up here! Do you realize that he heard you crying?" Dave returned. JJ looked down at the ground. Her face contorted in anger.

"Does that mean anything to you?" he wondered. "Your son is worried. Your friends are worried. Hell, even I'm worried!"

"I can take care of myself!" she shouted.

"The hell you can!" he shouted back. "You don't eat. You don't sleep. You don't talk to anyone…what kind of parent are you?"

"I'm a good parent!" she stated on a shaky breath.

"Really?" he sneered. "When was the last time you parented him? He wants to go to the park. He wants to see his friends. You sit in the room all day feeling sorry for yourself!"

"Get out!" she ordered.

"Maybe you should take that invitation from Jessica and let Henry go stay with her for a little while," Dave suggested.

"Are you suggesting that I give my son away?"

Dave shook his head. "No. I'm suggesting that you might be doing too much right now and you need a break."

"I have juggled single parenting and the BAU, and I made it work."

"This is different, Jennifer."

"How?"

Dave reigned in his temper. Barely. "Look. I'm not saying that you are a bad parent or you can't deal with Henry and healing. But maybe you shouldn't try to take everything on all at once."

"I won't let you take my son away!" JJ's hands curled into fists. Her body was poised to fight. The stance was not lost on Dave.

"Then let him stay with Penelope."

"No. Now get out of my room!" she shouted loudly.

"Mommy, why are you yelling at Uncle Dave?" Henry spoke up from the doorway.

Suddenly contrite, JJ hurriedly brushed the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand. "We were….we were just having a disagreement."

"You are supposed to use your 'inside voice'," the little boy remarked.

"I know," she agreed. "I forgot."

Henry took in his mother who was still clad in her nightgown and robe. "Will you come outside and play with me?"

The anger that had been in her eyes was replaced with fear. "No…I can't." Her hand flew to her throat.

"But I want you to play on my swing," he whined.

"Henry, I…"

"Your mother was just going to get dressed and come outside," Dave interrupted. At JJ's gasp, he leveled a look that dared her to defy him. "What do you say you go get changed and take Mudgie outside so we can meet you there?"

Henry looked from Dave to his mother. "Okay. Come on, Mudgie," he called as he raced down the hall to get ready.

Dave turned back to JJ. "Get dressed."

"I hate you," she whispered.

He shrugged. "You're not the first woman. But you don't want to disappoint your son. Now get ready. You have five minutes."

He pulled the door closed, but didn't shut it. He should have felt happy, but he didn't. But at least he was going to get JJ out of the house.  
******

_She heard him coming thru the window. The lights were out, but her senses were on high alert. Getting up from the bed, she tiptoed across the room to door. It was secure. There was no way he could get in. And even if he did, she had her gun. _

_He was walking down the hallway. She could hear the sound of his boots on the hardwood floor. Step by step he was getting closer. But she was safe. So was Henry. All she had to do was wait for him to leave._

_The sound of the handle being turned caused her heart to stop. She held her breath. Over and over the handle jiggled. The lock had to hold. It had to! The seconds passed like minutes…until she heard him move on. Now she could breathe. In the distance, a door closed. The coast was clear. She and Henry had to get out of there!_

"_Come on Henry," she said softly but urgently as she wrapped her sleeping son up in the light weight blanket. As long as they made it to the front door, then they were safe. With purpose, she moved to the door and turned the lock. It sounded like thunder in her ears. Had he heard it?_

_Clutching the blanket closer to her chest, she held her breath as she tiptoed down the hall. The minutes passed as she headed toward freedom. But what was taking so long? She never remembered it taking so long to get from the bedroom to the living room. _

_But there was light as the end. She was almost there! She almost shouted for joy as the familiar living area came into view. Now to make it to the door. She hit the couch. Where had that come from? She tried to adjust her eyes to see the obstacle course that had sprung up. Around the chairs…the coffee tables…the couches… She bumped her knee and nearly cried out. She held her baby tighter._

_Clearing the last piece of furniture, she let out a breath. Freedom! But there were footsteps behind her. He was back! She had taken too long! Oh God! She fumbled for the door handle, but it wouldn't turn. She needed help!_

"_Help me!" she cried out as her fists pounded on the heavy oak door. "Help! Someone! Help!"_

_He was coming back! _

_Pulling the door as hard as she could, she managed to get it open just a couple of inches - just enough to get Henry to safety. _

"_Come on, Henry," she ordered. "Go get help." But the blanket didn't move. Why wasn't Henry moving? Moving the material, she looked at her son. But he wasn't there!_

"_Henry? Henry?" she called out frantically. Where was her baby? She just had him! She spun around as she looked for her son._

"_Looking for this?" the familiar voice asked._

_That familiar scent of rot filled her nostrils. It was him!_

"_Let him go," she pleaded._

"_Oh no," he disagreed wickedly, "I want him to watch. It was no fair that he missed out the first time. Didn't we have fun?"_

"_Let him go, please," she begged._

"_I can't."_

"_Leave me alone."_

_His laugh sent chills down her spine. "I am going to haunt you for the rest of your life…JJ."_

"_HELP! SOMEONE HELP ME!" she yelled. But no one came. She was all alone._

_She saw the knife blade in the moonlight. Then she screamed._


	31. Chapter 31

**Believe Again**

Dave sat up in bed the moment he heard the brain piercing scream. He didn't even have to think twice as he bolted from the room, down the hall, and into JJ's room. He was barely in the room when she screamed again.

Instinct made him reach for the light switch, but at the last second he stopped. The sudden bright light could make things worse. He made out her form on the bed by the bright moonlight streaming thru the window. In an instant, he was sitting on the bed.

"JJ, wake up," he ordered.

"Don't touch me!" she yelled and took a blind swing. Dave moved just in the nick of time.

He held her forearms loose but firmly. "Open your eyes, Jennifer! It's Dave!" He waited for her to do what he commanded. "Open your eyes."

She heard his deep voice penetrate the hell in her mind. Slowly she opened her eyes. "Dave?" she whispered as she made him out in the moonlight.

"It's me, Cara," he soothed.

"He was here…he was trying to get Henry...I tried to stop him," she rushed to explain.

"There's no one here, Jennifer. It's just me and Henry."

"Where is Henry?" Her eyes were wild with fear. She pulled against his grip and tried to hurry off the bed.

"Henry is alright."

"I have to see him. I have to make sure. Let me go."

"Jennifer, calm down. I'll take you to see him." Dave stood up and held his hand out. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I have to see my son," she repeated.

With his hand firmly in the small of her back, Dave guided her down the hall to Henry's room at the end of the hall. Slowly he opened the door so she could see the small child sleeping soundly on the bed. At his feet was Mudgie, who lifted his head as the door was opened.

"It's just me, boy," Dave told the black Lab. Satisfied, the dog relaxed, but he didn't let down his guard. "See?" Dave turned to JJ. "He's alright. Mudgie isn't going to let anything happen to him."

"Can I touch him?" She whispered.

"Don't wake him. Let him sleep." He closed the door and turned toward her. "You need to sleep, too."

"I can't close my eyes," JJ confessed. "He might get me."

"Not if I'm with you." In the blink of an eye, he had JJ in his arms and was walking toward the Master Bedroom.

"Put me down! What are you doing?"

"Helping you to sleep tonight. If you're afraid of him getting you, he'll have to get past me." Dave opened the door and stepped inside. Kicking it closed, he walked over to the King sized bed and placed JJ gently on the mattress.

Unsure of his intentions, JJ tried to hold the fear at bay as she waited for Dave's next move. "Where are you sleeping?"

"Beside you."

"With me?"

"_Beside_ you," he emphasized the word.

"But you can't…I can't…" She moved quickly to the other side of the mattress. Fear was clear in her eyes.

"Jennifer," he reached out to hold her still, "it's alright; you are going to sleep under the covers, and I will sleep on top of them." He pulled the covers back and motioned for her to get under. "I'll be a true gentleman."

"That's what I'm afraid of," she muttered but slid under the covers and pulled them up to her chin.

"Cara, those water cooler rumors were just that," he smiled. "Comfortable?" She nodded. As carefully as he could, Dave lay on the mattress and moved to the far edge. "See, that's not so bad."

"What if you get cold?" she asked.

"I have a spare blanket on the chair I can use."

Dave tried to make himself comfortable while at the same time giving JJ the space she needed. Time slowly ticked by as he listened to her breathing finally even out. His ears tuned in to every single noise - actual and imagined - while JJ slept as soundly as her mind would let her.

Closing his eyes, he allowed himself to finally fall asleep.  
******

Instinct warned Dave that someone was outside his bedroom door before the knock sounded. Quickly and quietly he made his way across the carpeted floor to head off the intrusion.

"Good morning, Henry," he greeted cheerily to the little boy who was standing in the hallway in Toy Story pajamas, his hair rumpled, Mudgie close by his side. "You're up early."

"Where's Mommy?" Henry wailed. His blue eyes filled with tears.

"What do you mean?"

"I went to her room to wake her and she wasn't there. Where's Mommy?" his voice trembled with anguish.

"It's okay, Henry," Dave soothed, "she's asleep in my bed." He pulled the door open to show him.

"Why she sleeping in your bed?" Henry's look was perplexed but relieved at the same time.

"Are you hungry?" Unable to find an answer, Dave changed the subject.

"Can I have eggs?"

"Sure." He pulled on his robe. "Let me go turn off the alarm and you can let Mudgie out. Then I'll make you breakfast."

"'kay." Henry looked at JJ, who was sleeping. "Is Mommy gonna be okay?"

Dave nodded. "She will be. Let's go get something to eat."  
******

Sitting on the deck, JJ and Dave watched as Henry and Mudgie played in the yard. It was a beautiful spring day with a gentle breeze that moved the trees and lent a little something to the ambience.

"What are you thinking?" Dave asked carefully. JJ had agreed to go outside and he wasn't about to jinx it.

"It's a beautiful day," she remarked.

"It is," he agreed.

"Henry saw me in your bed."

"He did."

"What did you tell him?"

Dave shook his head slightly. "Nothing."

"I know you meant well, but I can't let that happen again."

"I was just trying to help, Jen. It wasn't meant to make an impression - good or bad."

"I know," she sighed, "but the only man Henry has seen me with is - was Will."

"He didn't see me in bed with you; he saw you in my bed," he corrected. "There is a difference."

"I don't know why you did what you did…"

"I was trying to help you. You screamed out loud. You scared the hell out of me, Jen; what was I supposed to do?" he challenged. "Did you want me to leave you there in the room, alone?"

"It was just a nightmare," she argued.

"Nightmare, my ass! You screamed loud enough to wake the dead last night!" he retorted.

"It wasn't that bad."

"I thought…the last time I heard you scream like that…" Dave choked up as the memory of that night flashed thru his brain. "You scared the hell out of me!" he repeated hoping she got what he was trying to say.

"I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you," she offered weakly with a small shrug of her shoulders.

He leveled a gaze at her. "Do you trust me?"

"I…"

"It's a simple yes or no. Do you trust me?" he repeated.

JJ licked her lips and moved her eyes to gaze at the wooden deck. "I…don't know."

Dave considered her answer. He took a deep breath and exhaled it thru his nose. "I see. Will you go see the therapist?"

"Dave…

"Yes or no."

"I don't think so."

He got up from his chair. "Excuse me."

JJ's blue eyes went wide with terror. "Where are you going?" her voice trembled with fear that he might leave her to her own defenses.

"I have to go fix lunch. Then I have to call Hotch and see when I can return to work."

Before she could respond, Dave went into the house and slammed the door behind him.


	32. Chapter 32

**Believe Again**

Dave finished stacking the dishwasher. Closing the door, he turned it on. The soft hum of the engine filled the spacious kitchen. Turning around, he nearly jumped out of his skin.

"JJ! You scared the hell out of me!" He pressed a hand to his heart and took a deep breath. "Is everything okay?" They had barely said two words to one another during lunch and after she took Henry upstairs, he figured she had taken a nap. But here she stood in the doorway of the kitchen with a lost look that nearly broke his heart.

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "I…I wanted to talk to you."

"Where's Henry?"

"Taking a nap. Mudgie wore him out. I figured this would be the best time to clear the air."

"Hold that thought." Dave rinsed his hands in the faucet and then dried them on the towel hanging from the hook. He turned back to face her. "Okay. Now talk."

JJ took her time to gather her thoughts. She wanted to say the right things so he wouldn't go away and leave her. She needed him and his strength.

"I was wrong to say what I did on the porch." She tried to meet his eyes but failed. "You tried to help me and I…I threw it back in your face."

Dave remained silent as he listened to her.

"I don't know what to do."

"Okay."

"I want to trust you…" She trailed off and tried to fight down the urge to flee.

"But?" he prompted.

She wrung her hands. "I'm scared."

"Understandable."

She blinked back the hot tears. "I've been on the other side so many times and I thought I knew what to do, but I don't. I can't begin to understand everything that is happening in my head."

"That is why you need to go to the therapist. You need someone to talk to," he replied evenly.

"I can talk to you," she insisted.

"It's not the same, Jennifer; I'm not licensed to provide the help you need."

"I…" The fear began to creep into her body.

"If you are going to take that first step, you have to talk to the therapist." He thought for a moment. "What if I could get Emily to take you? Then would you go?"

"I…guess."

"That's a start. I have to go into the office tomorrow for a meeting, so I can ask her." He turned back toward the sink.

"Dave…" she started but suddenly stopped.

"What, Cara?"

"Do you hate me?" she asked in a small voice.

"No."

"Are you sure?"

Dave turned around to face her. "I don't hate you, Jennifer. But I want to let you know that I talked to Hotch, and I'm meeting him for lunch tomorrow. That means that you'll be here with Henry." He waited for her reaction. "I need to know if you'll be okay with that."

"If it's for a couple of hours, I can do it," she answered.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." JJ gave him a weak smile, turned around and walked out of the kitchen.

Sighing heavily, Dave watched her leave.  
****

The sound of the dozens of patrons in the FBI cafeteria floated around the two men sitting in the far corner of the room.

"How is it going?" Hotch asked as he took a sip of his cold drink.

"She's agreed to talk to a therapist," Dave replied.

"That's a start."

"She also agreed to let Emily take her to the appointments."

"Another plus. Emily agreed?"

Dave nodded. "She did. I asked her before I went up to see you."

"How's the hand?" Hotch nodded toward the cast.

"Cast comes off Thursday."

"So you'll be returning to work?"

"As soon as I can." Dave forked the meatloaf into his mouth and chewed slowly. "I can't wait to get back in the field."

"Are you sure?"

"What do you mean?" Dave looked flummoxed by his best friend's question.

"Well, I think I know you better than most people, and I can tell when you've made a decision based on feelings or something more solid." Hotch put his fork down on his plate. "I don't feel that you want to come back quite yet."

The older agent shrugged indifferently. "It's something I need to do."

"It has to do with JJ?"

"In a way. I've thought it over and I could retire and stay at home with her until she's back on her feet, but right now I feel as though I would be enabling her."

"What do you mean?"

"Just that, Aaron. I'm always there to help out with Henry or do the things she needs to have done. I don't mind, but the longer I keep doing them, the less responsibility I let her take on." He tried to put into words what he was feeling. "No matter what happens, I know that one of these days she's going to break."

"And you think that by letting her take more responsibility it will help lessen the blow when she does break?" Hotch wondered logically.

Dave shook his head reluctantly. "I don't know. But I have to help her stand on her own two feet."

Hotch sighed. "I can see it from your point of view. But what if it backfires? Then what?"

"I'm not sure. But will it be better if I don't move on and help her to do the same?" he argued.

"Do you think she'll be back on the team?" Hotch asked carefully.

"I hope so."

"Have you heard from Will?"

"No. I did have Garcia do a search and he's back in New Orleans at his old job. He also seems to have hooked up with an old girlfriend," Dave replied. There was anger in his tone. His hands clenched into fists at just the mere mention of the man's name.

"Does JJ know?"

"No. That could only set her back."

"True."

"How's Erin?" Dave asked politely.

"Another week of physical therapy and she will be back to haunt the BAU again," Hotch joked lightly. "If you get your release signed by her fill in, there is no way she can deny your return."

"I think she and I have come to an understanding." Dave's eyes twinkled with mischief. "One that includes the team, too."

"You had Father Jimmy perform an exorcism?"

"Let's just say that I used the ace up my sleeve. She'll probably still ride your ass, but it won't be as hard."

"That's comforting. It will be good to have you back. And soon, JJ will be back with us."

"She's going to make it, Aaron," Dave vowed solemnly.

"I have no doubt that she will," Hotch agreed.

Silently the two men picked up their forks and resumed eating. But despite what they said aloud, deep down inside the doubt lingered unspoken.


	33. Chapter 33

**Believe Again**

JJ sat up straight in bed and looked around fearfully. Her breaths came in gasps as her eyes darted around the dark room.

He had been in her room. She was sure of it. She had heard him open the door and stand over her with a knife.

_Jennifer…_

She could hear his voice call her name.

"There is no one here, Jen," she chastised herself. "Get a grip. Now just lie down and close your eyes."

But that was easier said than done. He was going to get her; she could feel it.

Covering her mouth with her hand, she tried to stifle a sob. She needed Dave, but there was no way she was going to call for him. She needed to be strong for Henry.

_Jennifer…_

She could hear his voice calling to her. He was watching her. And when he found her, no one was going to be able to save her.

Reaching over toward the lamp on the table, she switched it on and held her breath. Her eyes darted around the room, but no one was there.

_Jennifer…_

She pushed back the covers and tiptoed to the closet. A flick of her wrist swung the door opened to reveal….nothing. Just her clothes hanging from the rod and her shoes neatly stacked.

_It's just your imagination, Jen; there is no one here._

But the fear kept rising.

_Go to Dave,_ her conscious ordered.

"I can't," she whispered.

_His door is open to you. Just go down the hall and tell him that you're scared._

"I'm not scared!"

_You're frightened - that's a better word. Crawl into his bed and let him protect you._

"No! I'm not frightened. I'm not scared."

_You're looking under beds and in closets for the boogeyman; what would you call it?_

"Being cautious."

_Go to Dave!_

"I can't."

_It's not that you _can't_; it's that you _won't. _There is a difference._

Thinking it over, she took another look at the room before hurrying out to the hallway. Softly she tiptoed across the carpet to Dave's door. Her hand paused on the knob. She just needed to get up the nerve to turn it and go inside. He wouldn't turn her away. He cared about her, right?

"Come on, Jen," she whispered to herself. "Go to him."

All she had to do was turn…but instead, she dropped her hand and ran back to her bedroom faster than she thought possible to jump under the covers and pull them over her head.

_Chicken! Coward!_

Hot tears squeezed from her eyes as she berated herself. She was a chicken. She was a coward.

"I hate him! I hate him for doing this to me!" she whispered.

_Go to Dave!_

"No," she shook her head. "I'm not going to Dave. It's time I picked myself up and moved on past this."

_You're not that strong._

She shook her head. When had her conscience begun to sound like Dave Rossi?

"I am. And with a little bit of therapy under my belt, I'm going to get stronger. What's that saying: Never let them see you sweat? It's time to be strong. I'm going to beat this, and I'm not going to lean on anyone for support," she vowed solemnly. "I can do this."

Yes, she would hold on to that to help ward off the demons.

Chanting her new found mantra, she finally fell asleep.  
*******

Dave heard movement outside his door and waited. He had hoped that she would come in and let him be her support. But as the minutes ticked by, and the door didn't open, he realized that she wasn't going to come.

Then he heard the footsteps run down the hall, and he felt he had failed her somehow.

_You liked her in your bed,_ his conscience teased.

"No, I didn't," he argued.

_Yes, you did. Admit that you liked waking up beside her and watching her sleep._

"It was nice," he admitted reluctantly.

_It was more than nice, and you know it. Tell me you're not attracted to her._

"I'm not attracted to her."

_LIAR! You're attracted. Hell, every guy is attracted to JJ - and why not? She's beautiful…hot…legs that go on for miles…_

Dave clamped his hands over his ears. "Shut up! I'm not thinking this!"

Standing up, he pulled on his robe. "I'll go to her and…" And then, what? What was he going to tell her? That he heard her outside his door and worried that maybe she had had another nightmare? That he wondered why she hadn't come to him?

There had to be something he could tell her.

A million thoughts went thru his head as he walked down the long hallway to JJ's door. He would just check on her and see how she was faring. At least it sounded good to him.

Gently he placed a hand on the door knob, then he paused as his eyes flicked down and saw the light on. She was awake.

A soft rap and then he waited for the invite. But it didn't come. So, he knocked again.

Easing the door open, he peeked inside not sure what to expect. His eyes landed on JJ fast asleep on the bed with the covers over her head. He wanted to wake her and bring her to his bed and help her understand that everything was going to be alright. He wanted to banish the evil demons away and bring back the JJ he knew and loved.

Loved. Where had that thought come from? God, he needed someone to talk to, he thought as he ran a hand over his tired eyes.

_It's about time you admit that you love her._

"On top of everything else, now I have a conscience that sounds like Aaron Hotchner," Dave muttered. And it was telling him to crawl into bed with JJ. Now he was going to have to swear off the scotch. Could things get worse?

He looked at the slim figure on the bed. He didn't need to wake JJ up when sleep was so hard for her to find. He would talk to her in the morning and let her know that his door was open anytime she needed him.

Letting out a deep breath, he closed the door and went back to his room.


	34. Chapter 34

**Believe Again**

Dave knew something was different the moment he started down the stairs and the scent of bacon wafted up to tickle his nose.

"What in the world…?" he muttered and hurried to the kitchen. To say that he was surprised to see JJ standing at the stove making breakfast would have been an understatement, but he kept his expression neutral.

JJ felt Dave's presence before he spoke. "Morning," she greeted. "I hope you don't mind, but I woke up early and I wanted to do something…" Her voice trailed off as self doubt crept in. She gave herself a mental shake and squared her shoulders. "Henry wanted pancakes."

"Pancakes are good. I like them."

"You didn't have syrup, so I am going to have to improvise." She gave him what she hoped was a charming smile.

"I'm sure that whatever you do will be great." Dave looked at the coffee pot. "Did you make coffee?"

"I did," she replied while taking the bacon out of the pan and laying it on the paper towels to drain off the grease. "I'll get you a cup…"

Dave waved her off. "I have it. You finish that." Pulling down a mug, Dave filled it with the hot brew and took a sip. "This is good." He looked around the room. "Where's Henry?"

"He took Mudgie outside." JJ kept busy at the stove. "You're quiet," she observed.

"Just thinking." He sat down at the table. "I wasn't expecting this."

"What? Me cooking? I know how," her tone was defensive.

"I never said you didn't. I…" How could he tell her that as much as he was surprised by the sudden change, he was still disappointed that she didn't come to him last night? "So, today is your appointment?"

JJ took the plates down from the cupboard. "It is. Emily is supposed to come and pick me up around ten."

"I'll take care of Henry."

"I wish you were taking me," she pointed out wistfully. But underneath, resentment slowly built. She tried to concentrate on Dave's plate.

"I have to go in and finish up some paperwork," he reminded and flexed his fingers that were now free of the cast.

"I know." Serving up the food, JJ placed the plate down in front of Dave. "I hope you like it."

He raised an eyebrow. "Strawberry jam?"

"Pancakes are bread, and strawberry jam is good on bread. It's something I got from my grandmother when I stayed on her farm." JJ met Dave's eyes, then quickly looked away.

The red rimmed remnants of crying didn't sneak past him. "Are you alright?" he asked with concern.

"I'm okay. Just one of those nights," she shrugged and sipped her coffee.

"JJ…I…" Dave laid his fork down on the plate. "You know that I have to go back to work, right?"

"I wish you didn't."

"It's been ten weeks, and my convalescence leave is over. Even if I wanted to extend my time, the team is short handed. As soon as I can make arrangements, I'm taking more of my leave to stay with you and Henry," he said.

"What if you have to go out of town on a case?" she asked.

"That won't happen for a while," he assured her gently. "I have it on strict confidence that Swann's team is taking over the out of town cases and Teams Alpha and Charlie will stay in the area until the fall."

"Okay." But she knew better.

"That means I'll be home every night…at least for a while," he added to soften the blow.

"That's good." But the smile didn't reach her eyes.

Dave studied her and waited for a moment to make his request. "Jennifer…you know that you can come to me at any time - for anything - and I won't mind."

JJ kept her eyes lowered toward the floor, but she nodded. "Okay."

"That extends to my room. The door is open any time you need me."

"To talk?" she asked with a sigh.

"If that is what you want to do. You can come to me for anything." He picked up his fork and cut the pancakes. Chewing thoughtfully, he looked at JJ and winked. "You're right, this is good."

A smile tugged at JJ's lips. "I…I'm going to get Henry. Then I have to get ready."

"I'll watch him," Dave offered. "You do what you have to."

The smile on JJ's face lasted until she got to the sliding glass door. _He made a pass at me!_ _Oh my gosh! And then he said I could go to his room for anything…_ JJ's hand flew up to her throat as the fear she thought she had left in the bedroom threatened to overwhelm her.

_Calm down, Jen,_ she ordered herself sharply. _ Take a deep breath. Remember, he _is_ David Rossi. You are going to a therapist who is going to help you. You don't need him or his offers. Now get Henry and get ready to go with Emily._

JJ breathed deeply, then squared her shoulders, and called for her son.  
*******

"Hello, Jennifer. I'm Doctor Martika Russert," the dark haired, older woman greeted as JJ walked thru the door. "Have a seat," she gestured to the overstuffed chairs opposite the long couch.

JJ looked around the nicely decorated room. Simply but tastefully furnished, it had the look and feel of home - save for the framed certificates on the wall and the large mahogany desk backed by bookshelves.

"So, how are you?"

JJ sat down and looked at the older woman. "I'm fine."

"I want you to know that I've looked over your file and the questionnaire you were required to fill out. so I could get a feel for how to approach you. I hope you don't mind."

"No."

Doctor Russert closed the manila folder on her desk and walked over to sit in the chair opposite JJ. "I hope you don't mind my intrusiveness, but I'm sensing that you don't want to be here today."

JJ gave a short laugh full of irony. "It's not exactly what I had planned. But…" she looked around and tried to calm herself, "…none of what happened was what I had planned."

"I see. Where would you be right now, if you had the choice?"

"At home…actually, I don't have a home…not anymore," she corrected wistfully.

"Where are you living? Because I thought I had an address for you." Doctor Russert looked flummoxed.

"I'm not homeless," she corrected quickly, "I'm living with a friend - or rather, a co-worker who took me and my son in."

"I see. What is your friend's name?"

"David." JJ nervously fiddled with her collar.

Doctor Russert noticed the change. "Jennifer, are you alright?"

"Just…just a little…um, nervous."

"There is nothing to be nervous about; can I get you something to drink? Water? A Coke?" Doctor Russert stood up and walked to the mini fridge in the corner of the office.

"A Coke would be nice," JJ replied.

A couple of minutes later, JJ was sipping on the cold beverage.

"Back to your friend, David. How do you know him?"

JJ set the bottle down. "We're co-workers."

A scan of the information. "I see you're not married."

JJ's hands unconsciously balled into fists. "No. I'm a single parent."

"Is your co-worker your son's father?"

"No."

"Where is your son's father?"

"Gone." JJ made it sound final.

"Where did he…?"

"I don't want to talk about it," JJ snapped. Will no longer existed in her life and she wasn't going to go down that road.

"Okay. We won't talk about that." Doctor Russert watched her patient's body language. "So, why do you think you're here?" She changed the subject to gage her patient's reaction time.

"I was attacked in my home," JJ admitted, "and they think that if I talk to someone, then I can go back to work."

"Do you want to go back to work?"

"Yes. I loved my job."

Past tense. That was mentally noted for her eval after the consult. "What did you do?"

"I was a Liaison for the FBI's BAU division."

Another past tense. "BAU?"

"Behaviour Analysis Unit," JJ supplied. "Profilers."

"So, you've seen the worst of the worst crime and society has to offer."

JJ nodded. "I have."

"And you want to go back to it?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I want to make a difference. I want to help."

Doctor Russert nodded. "Jennifer…"

"You can call me JJ."

She crossed her legs and leaned forward a bit. "So, JJ, tell me about growing up and how you joined the FBI."


	35. Chapter 35

**Believe Again**

Penelope Garcia was exhausted. If there was a way for her feet to hurt all the way up to her shoulders, then she was definitely yearning to just take a hot bath and sleep for a couple of days.

Kicking off her shoes, she pattered across the wood floor to the kitchen. While one hand reached for the hot cocoa, the other grabbed the large coffee mug. It was definitely going to be a two cup night.

Just as she shoved the cup in the microwave, the doorbell rang. "Ah, hell," she muttered. "Who could that be right now?" She closed the door and set the timer. The bell rang again. "Coming!" she shouted and ran across the short space.

Peeking to see who was calling on her, she gasped to see Derek. Quickly, she undid the numerous locks and chains.

"Why Derek Morgan." she purred. "What brings you to my super, secret, off limits after hours lair?"

"Do I need a reason to see my angel?" he returned smoothly.

"No. Come in before I embarrass you in the hallway."

"You always did like an audience." He closed the door and locked it, then gave an appreciative sniff. "Is that chocolate I smell?"

"Oh," she smiled, "you _are_ good! I was just heating the water. Want a cup?"

"Sure." Derek sat down on the overstuffed couch. "I see you still have this junkyard special."

"I love it," she retorted from the kitchen. A couple of minutes later she appeared with two steaming mugs of hot chocolate. "Here you go. Watch out, it's hot," she cautioned and sat down beside him.

"Mmmm, this is good," he sipped cautiously.

"What's on TV tonight?" she wondered with half interest. Her mind was on the moment and not a show. Derek was in her apartment for a reason and she was going to find out why.

"I don't want to watch TV."

"You would rather watch me?" she teased.

"Not the way you think." He set the mug down on the coffee table. "I told you a few weeks ago that we needed to talk. Enough time has passed and I think I need to find out what's been bothering you."

"I'm okay," she murmured and pulled back when Derek laid a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"You pulled back," he observed. "You never did that before."

"It's been a long day," she excused. "I was hoping to take a bath and go to bed early."

"The bath can wait, Mama. We need to talk."

"Derek, if you really love me the way you say you do, then you will drop this. Please," she pleaded.

"It's because I love you that I can't drop this." He watched her facial expressions and half expected her to bolt from the couch. "Do you want me to turn off the light? Would that make it easier?" he asked softly.

"Sure…I guess."

Derek turned off the lamp and settled in. "That's better."

"I guess," she repeated.

"I think you know that I've noticed the change in you since JJ's assault. And as good as you are at trying to hide it, you keep putting little things out there. I've let you have your space, but you can't keep hiding behind that wall you put up." He paused thoughtfully. "Who hurt you?"

Pen was thankful for the darkness so Derek couldn't see the look of shock on her face. "What makes you ask that?" she replied as casually as the tremble in her voice would allow.

"Penelope Ingrid Norris Garcia, I know you too well. And I know when something is eating you up inside."

"I'm worried over JJ; I get like that."

"You get possessive," he corrected. "You don't get defensive."

"I had a moment of weakness."

"You nearly tore Will's head off at the hospital that first night. And I know you've spent hours crying. Sympathy is one thing, but…either you are getting in too deep with this," he said. "Or you've been there."

"Derek…" she protested softly.

"I know how you feel…just like you know how JJ feels. We agreed that there would never be secrets between us after Chicago. And you know my deepest darkest secret, now it's time to hear yours."

"You're going to hate me," she whispered hoarsely.

"I could never hate you, Penelope. And something tells me that I could never hate you as much as that little part of you hates yourself."

The minutes passed slowly. Neither one pushed the other.

"It happened when I was nineteen," Pen's voice trembled. "I had run away from home after my parents were killed. The house was sold, and I had just graduated, and there was no reason to hang around. Guillermo made it clear that I was no longer part of the family, I should, in his words: Pack my shit and get out of their lives because I was no longer wanted." She blinked back the tears. "So, I did."

Derek held his breath because he knew more was coming.

"I took the money and ran…just like the song. I filled Esther with what I couldn't live without, and I ran like my life depended on it. I eventually made it out to San Francisco. I loved the song and thought it would be a great place to start over…you know 'flowers in you hair and peace and love' and all that garbage. But life is hard when you're young without direction…and it's harder when you only have a high school diploma with average grades. Doesn't help you secure that great job in a high rise with tons of great pay," she joked sardonically.

"Where did you live?" Derek asked.

"I got an apartment with the money, but eventually it ran out and my part time job couldn't support me and rent and food…" She closed her eyes as the memory came back. "Derek, don't make me do this."

"Keep going, Pen; you need to get this off your chest," he encouraged.

"I…" The tears began to fall. "I had met a couple of girls at work who needed a place to stay, and I had the room, so I offered to let them move in with me. We liked to drink on the weekends - and you know what a party town Frisco can be - you know that profiler instinct you have that drives me crazy…I wish I had had that then.

"Maggie - my best friend - had a boyfriend - Charles - who would come over when she wasn't home. I thought it was to play her PS2, so I could ignore him at first. Then I found myself listening to him talk about his problems at home and with Maggie, and I sympathized."

"He was feeling you out and trying how to get past your wall."

"I know that now," she sobbed.

"What happened, Pen?"

"He came over one night and needed a place to crash, so I let him have the couch. Maggie and Ruth were working, and he sometimes stayed, so I didn't think anything of it. And my door was closed." Pen closed her eyes as the memory washed over her. She could still see his face in the moonlight as he shoved his tongue in her mouth and ripped at her clothes.

"I felt something cool on my skin and wondered if I had fallen asleep with the window open. When I went to reach for the blanket, it wasn't on the bed. He had taken my pajama bottoms off and was…" She took a deep breath. "…he was over me - naked - his hands were touching me. I tried to push him off, but he was too heavy. I tried to scream, but he clamped a hand over my mouth and told me to be quiet. I tried to kick him but either he was too drunk to feel it, or I was too surprised to put up a defense.

"He told me that he knew that I wanted it because of the looks I had been giving him. He was pushing against me even when I pulled back. He forced my legs open and then he…he raped me," she finished. Heart wrenching sobs filled the room as Pen finally gave into her grief.

Derek sat in shock as he absorbed her story. He had presumed that something had happened to her, but he had never imagined anything so brutal. The protector in him wanted to run out of the door and hunt down the bastard who had hurt his baby girl. He had a first name and he had an address - it would take time, but he could locate him and beat the shit out of him.

But the sensible part knew that he couldn't change what had happened and now he had to be strong for the woman he loved more than life itself. He couldn't let emotion get the better of him.

"What did you do?" Derek asked slowly.

"I told him that I was going to tell Maggie. He just laughed," she sniffled back the tears, "and told me that Maggie would never believe a lying slut like me. Plus everyone knew that I had a flirtatious nature, so…who was to say that I hadn't led him on?"

"That's not true…" Derek protested.

She shook her head. "I was different then; you didn't know me."

"I know that no matter what you do and say, you would never deliberately lead someone on. You didn't deserve what he did to you." He reached over and brushed the tears from her cheeks.

"I know that now."

"So, what did you do? Did you tell Maggie?" he wondered.

"I tried, but I couldn't. I tried to avoid him the best I could, but he still spent the night when she was there. One night he came into my room when she was asleep and tried to…I kneed him and told him that if he touched me again, I would kill him. The next day when everyone was gone, I packed my stuff and left…everything. Then I took a couple of courses at the night college and taught myself code." She tried to force a smile. "And the rest is history."

"What happened to…Charles?" Derek's fists clenched and unclenched at the mention of the name.

"He's dead. Drug overdose or something. I knew he had a problem…" She forced a short laugh before continuing, "I had this dream of tracking him down and confronting him now that I worked for the FBI. But…fate had something else in store for him."

"He got off too easy," Derek growled.

"He got what he deserved."

"Did you ever tell anyone?"

She shook her head in denial. "No. I read some books and then I volunteered at the local rape crisis center. That helped me a lot. It got me to you."

"Still…"

"You know as well as I do, Sugar, that sometimes channeling our anger and grief is the best thing we can do. You became a police officer and then a profiler; I became a hacker and FBI tech analyst. It worked out."

Derek nodded at her logic. "At least now I know why you were ready to kill Will." He cupped her cheek. "I'm sure that if we hadn't been there, you would have."

"I don't know. I'm not sure the idea had crossed my mind; I was too angry to think."

"But you're thinking now, and I know you'll be there for JJ."

"I don't want to fail her."

"You won't. You love her and you'll be there for her - just as she was there for you when the chips were down. That's what family does," he soothed.

"I know."

"Come here." He pulled her into the comforting, protective embrace of his arms. He pressed a kiss to her hair and breathed in her delicate scent.

She held on to him. "You don't hate me?" she worried.

"I could never hate you, Pen; I love you."

"Don't let me go."

"Never."

Feeling his arms tighten around her, Pen closed her eyes and let out a deep breath. She had survived and was loved, despite everything. Now she had to wish the same for JJ.

* * *

A/N: Until further notice, this story, and all others, are on hiatus. Thank you.


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